Please Help Me. I Feel Awful

[kimber271]

Hello everyone. I posted my first post a while back on here, and ya'll helped so much.

Since then, i've spoken to him, and seen him once. In other words, i let him back into my life somewhat. It was my big mistake, I know, but I am so in love with him, and even after his hurtful words, the way he ignores me, I still tried

Well, after a week of ignoring me for pretty much nothing, he texts me yesterday and says simply, "you ok?" I replied back with, " i still have your parking permit." He replied "Thats ok, Im at work so Ill call you later." I didn't respond to that text, and he never called me that day.

 

So, this morning I text him to see if he wants to go see a movie after work. He didn't respond, so after 2 hours I text him it would be easiest just to not contact me at all again since it looks like he wants to move on. NO response.

I got mad, so I text him saying the way he's treated me, acting like I don't exist, ignoring me, and punishing me for a week for something I apologized profusley for, is cruel, and he doesn't need to ever contact me again.

 

Im in so much pain. How can he be this way. What is he doing to me? He may have a new girl, or he may just be doing this to mess with my head. Who knows. He doesn't respond anymore. (All I did to make him ignore me was have a bad day and not sound happy on Monday.)

 

Do you think he will ever contact me again? I don't know what i did that was so serious to make him treat me so cruel. Im really hurting, and Im sorry if this is long.

[WorkNProgress]

My question to you....Why should you apologize to him for having a crummy day?

 

Some guys don't know how to bow out like a gentleman. They only know how to run and hide. It looks like he is the type that runs and hides too.

I am sorry you are feeling hurt and ignored. But do you really want someone who treats you like this?

 

You have a right to be mad and then you must move on from him. He isn't meeting your needs. YOUR needs are what is important here. Mail him his parking pass or drop it off at his work (when he isn't there.)

 

Strict NC will help. I know you can do it.

[scronan719]

i just read all of your posts.... looks like you didnt follow through on that advice... if he texts you... or calls you... then do exactly what he does... ignore him... and no matter how much pain you are in... DONT give in... if i hear anymore of you responding to his messages or phone calls... then you are lost... and no one here can help you if you don't listen.... i'm not going to baby you... just IGNORE him completely... or you deserve to be treated that way.

[kimber271]

Thank you. No, I don't want a man that treats me like that. He ignored me for not being cheery and talking nice when I had had a bad day. So, I get silent treatment from him for almost a week? How is he capable of being so cruel? It's driving me crazy, then he gets angry for the texts I send. Well, if he was just normal and didn't ignore me day after day I wouldn't have to react. I've never been cruel to him in this way, yet he is able to tell me to shut up and ignore me.

He's thrown me out of his place many times for such little things he gets angry over, then will ignore me. I always end up being the one to apologize, and he still won't let it go.

I know I need to forget him for good but Im having a hard time. Trust me, I will never speak to this man for a VERY long time, but right now I just wanted to share and just get some support. I messed up, I know

[friscodj]

Two things...

 

Maybe he is hurting over this himself. You just don't know. You assume he is being a jerk, but maybe he is making distance he feels necessary between you two...maybe contacting you drumming up feelings which are interfering with his new relationship (if he has one, and you don't know how well that is going), maybe your text made him think and he needs time to process what you wrote him, who knows...ignoring someone isn't always punishment as you view it...

 

So in a situation like this, I feel the emotions need to run their course. The best thing you can do is give it time, focus on other things, try to detach, and sooner or later the emotions will fade...

[kimber271]

I've been his girlfriend for the past few years now, and this has been going on for a while. EVERYTIME we have a problem, or if I do something he doesn't like no matter how great or small, I'm ignored or given the silent treatment for days, even weeks.

There's no getting through to him, no matter how nice I try to be, if I suggest we to something or go out together. No, he will still ignore me. This time, it's worse. I tried like an idiot to make up to him all monday and tues, but he didn't answer. Finally, I gave up, and yesterday he texts me, "you ok" and then he never called.

Thats the first thing he ever says after days of silence, "you ok?" in a text.

So, how can I wait around and give this guy time. He yells at me all the time, hangs up on me, ignores me, and I was stupid enough to stick around this long.

I'm just hurting for many reasons, but I will ignore him if he is to ever contact me. I never want to feel this way again.

[friscodj]

So, how can I wait around and give this guy time. He yells at me all the time, hangs up on me, ignores me, and I was stupid enough to stick around this long.

I'm just hurting for many reasons, but I will ignore him if he is to ever contact me.

 

There's the answer to your problem kimber...you figured it out on your own...it doesn't matter if he contacts you again because you are gone...

[kimber271]

It just really hurts to have tried AGAIN to contact him most of todday, and get absolutley no response from him.

If the situation was reversed, i would have the courtesy to at least respond with something

It's the weekend and I'm really having a hard time dealing with the way he's handling this. I simply asked him if he wanted to see a movie today, and since we normally spend (when we aren't fighting) the weekend together, I thought he wouldn't ignore me this time. he had just texd me yesterday and said he'd call me after work. Maybe because I didn't reply to his text, thats why he ignored me today.

[iceman85]

Kimber, you seem to understand that he treats you poorly, yet I understand why you feel so bad, you care about him alot.

 

You know that you deserve better than what hes giving you. The really hard thing is going to be overcoming the feelings you have for him, its so difficult. Strict NC will help you in that area. At first its like torture but each passing day brings strength and it gets easier.

 

You dont deserve to be ignored, yelled at or mistreated. You were with him for years, your going to always have that attachhment with him there, it hurts when that very strong emotional attachment first breaks, but know that you will survive it and come out even better, even though you dont feel like you will.

[kimber271]

Thank you iceman! Sometimes I just feel if I didn't nag him, then he wouldn't have to ignore me. I do believe though that NO ONE likes to be ignored, and any normal person with emotions involved would react the same way I did. I didn't even flip out, I just once again attempted to contact him, see if he wanted to catch a movie this weekend, and he again ignores me.

The way he treated me wasn't great throughout the relationship anyways, so I should be happy. He'd make me leave his place over the smallest things, and would lock me out then ignore me for days.

Maybe I'm more hurt over what he's done to me than having this end.

Thanks for the responses.

[iceman85]

Kimber I think its a combination of being hurt by his actions and also realizing that this is over for good because you dont deserve this and cant stand it anymore. Both of those things really hurt and you will feel that pain for awhile. Just stick with NC like everyone has said, its so hard to not call or text, email whatever, especially if they make the effort. But if you grind it out and do your best with it you will be brought to a better place and start to regain yourself.

[kimber271]

Thank you. I just have to remember there are men out there, and I've seen them with my friends, who will not treat their girlfriend like my ex has been treating me. He has issues that stem way beyond me, and I think he will do this to anyone he is with.

I will do NC from this point on. I feel something different in me this time, even with all the hurt I'm feeling right now. I feel that if he is ever to contact me, I can ignore him, because he doesn't care about me, and has been ignoring me for the past week, and has done it to me each time we have a fight. Not normal....

Anyways, I'll stay strong. I feel a little better now after posting here and reading the responses. =)

[blemished]

Why do you keep contacting him? It is obvious the only way you can heal is by no longer dealing with him at all.

[kittenmoomoo]

Hey Kimber, it really saddens me to read your thread. It was exactly how I was treated in my last relationship. My ex would always ignore me and it hurt alot cause sometimes it was for no reason. Anyway, I just want to say it's not worth it. Don't hold on and wait for someone who isn't giving you the time of day in the first place. It's better to have a constant happiness without them rather than a temporary extreme happiness followed by a gloomy period, which keeps repeating. Hope that makes sense!

[law4life]

The relationship I just ended was the same way, though I am having his child, he is cut off from any communication not intended toward a dr.s appt, etc. under no circumstances should anyone be abused or neglected by anyone. Ignore him, he is only playing some sort of game, whether he is a nice guy sometimes, and a jerk other times, if he does not make you feel appreciated and loved, LEAVE HIM ALONE, before it is too late and you end up with a child, or God forbid married to him. Everything you allow to happen, will only mess you up in the future for a nice guy who loves you. As soon as the nice guy doesn't answer your call you are going to relate it to this jerk. Your nice guys cell phone could have just died, but you will be conditioned to react negatively, please leave him alone, I know what I am talking about from experience. Please let him go, move on sweetie.

[SoontobeRN]

Kimber...I THINK YOU NEED TO GO NO CONTACT. It's the only way to move on. Yes, he was a large part of your life for a while, but now he isn't and you need to think about YOU and how great YOU are! He obviously doesn't see how great you are, so just accept what he has told you (that it's over) and greive all you want, but don't contact him...DON'T WORRY, SOON IT WILL GET BETTER and you'll look back on it and chuckle because you were so upset over loosing him!

 

IT WILL GET BETTER

I PROMISE!

 

[kimber271]

Thank you everyone! You're posts have really helped.

He hasn't made ONE effort to contact me at all, and I've given up for good too. If he can treat me this way, then I know he isn't worth it like you've all said.

Something inside me just died for him since he has ignored me. I've tried to say I was sorry (I don't even know what I'm apologizing for) and I've tried to suggest some fun stuff like movies or dinner, and he still ignored me.

That hurts, and I will never let him do this to me again.

 

Thank you everyone. I feel stronger already. I know I have a journey ahead of me, but as you have all said, I can't have that negative influence in my life, since I don't want to rub that off onto a nice man when I eventually meet him.

[rmpavlock]

Stay strong! You deserve better! Hang out with friends, do something for yourself, try to meet new people....stay busy, and whatever you do, do not respond to his calls or texts! It's tough, but you'll feel much better in the long run.

[sillyladyx3]

if he contacts u again maybe its best not to respond

don't text him anymore

let him text you

but if u feel u shoudl respond then do so but don't nag him bout things just see wat he wants and just try to be friendly

like don't get in it with him he isn't worth it i know you love him but sometimes its best we move on.

[kimber271]

I won't contact him again on my part. I will be strong, and if HE is to call me or text me, I will realize they are shallow, pathetic attempts made at the wrong time, and I would only hurt myself by responding.

He's proven over and over that he doesn't care about what I feel, because if he did, he would realize ignoring me for a week is something no human being enjoys. I tried, I did my part to make up and to have a great week, but he would rather stay mad, ignore me, or whatever he's doing.

Im staying strong, going out, doing more yoga and activities that build up my mind and spirit. Thanks for the encouragement!

[law4life]

You are so on track, the more you focus on yourself, the more you will become ready for MR. RIGHT, instead of wasting time on MR. RIGHT NOW. Stay strong, we are here for you!!!