How can I feel better?

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I lost my gay virginity to a guy that really didnt care about me so much as just "turning me gay"- and then telling everyone.

 

And my reaction was so truly undignified and I freaked and everyone saw me freak.

 

How do I get my dignity back? I'm the furthest thing from this person's mind- but every time I walk down the street I forced to contend with the way he exposed me.

 

How do I get my dignity back? I haven't technically been raped- but something very important feels like its been taken away from me.

[Anna.]

aww, that sucks. I'm sorry this happened to you.

 

But you just keep your head up, that's all you have to do. Don't let this guy and his insensitivity beat you.

Hold your head up high and be who you really are. You aren't "exposed" b/c people know you are gay now, you can feel like you have a weight lifted b/c the truth is out now.

 

You learned a valuable lesson the hard way and now you are that much wiser for it.

[shorty20]

I would say the best way to get your dignity back is to not be afraid to be around people. After a while they'll forget about everything but the worse thing you could do would be to hide away from everyone so you don't have to face them. Just face it head on, and although it may be hard it will make you stronger. Hang in there!

[Closure]

I'd just say that you haven't lost YOUR dignity.

 

This guy who did this lost HIS!

 

Thanks for telling me about gay virginity, i'm a virgin again everyone!

[flower99]

Yeah I agree with closure, he lost his dignity...not you.

You had every right to freak. i would too.

Be proud (:

[FoxLocke]

I like the term "gay virginity" lol...That is cute...

 

Onto a more serious note...

 

Happytown, I feel that you are ashamed because someone you trusted betrayed you. That will leave you feeling vulnerable and EXPOSED.

 

I remember that there was a guy that I liked and we ended up making out. However, while we were dating, he totally betrayed my trust by turning his back on me and saying that our kiss was, "Momentary pleasure for him" and that "God doesn't like homosexuality."

Well, needless to say I gave that SOB the cold shoulder and I barely speak to him in passing...

However, to this day(nearly 8 months later), I occasionally feel like I lost something important to the wrong person. Even though we didn't have sex the kiss meant something to me...That is why this person repulses me, even now(but I am getting over it, slowly but surely)...

 

I think you have to allow yourself to work through this. Talking to us is a great first step.

 

You will get over him and resume a normal life...You'll be fine.

[Rizby]

Sorry to hear about your first sordid experience. Are you sure however that he "turned you gay"? Time will erase and restore your self-worth. Chin-up, Happytown.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I don't think he turned me gay- i meant that was how he talks about it. I feel a lot better since I posted that. It helped!

 

Your support was great thanks so much!

[Boughtandpaidfor]

Although........ Ijust started reading his blog again. I havent since he posted this It really upset me to read it again though I guess if its not about you its quite funny.

 

So, this is f***ing hilarious:

 

Here's a brief layout of the drama:

 

1. Happytown moves to my town, and we become friends, we live in the same building.

2. He says he really likes (this girl), my other friend.

3. I try to get them together, but fail.

4. Happytown and I become really good friends.

5. Happytown and I get really drunk and f**k.

6. Happytown and I try to have a relationship, but fail and remain friends.

7. I go to another city for a few weeks for Training, and move into a new apartment.

8. The secret that Happytown and I humped gets out, and he blames me (which is partially my fault) and refuses to see me or speak for me for 6 weeks, claiming that he has a right to be angry

9. Happytown apologizes 6 weeks later, admitting fault for everyone, and then gets annoyed when I hesitate to be friends again

10. Happytown and I get friendly, and spend some time together

11. Happytown disappears and won't write me back, seems to be avoiding me

12. Happytown apologizes again, and we get a little friendly, but then he just flakes out, and I'm all done wit' him

13. Happytown becomes friends with the fag that replaces me at my company, and is living in my old apartment.

14. New guy admits he likes Happytown.

15. Happytown tells (the girl he originally liked), "Its been one year, and you're still all I think about." at behest of new guy

16. I laugh hysterically for 35 hours.

 

I can't WAIT until Happytown and (the new guy) * * * * and the whole thing starts over. This is GREAT. Drama like this is what makes life worth living.

 

I haven't slept with the new guy by the way...... but he did provide me with a lot of emotional support that the first guy didnt.

 

I'm so glad this guy's gone. At least I could read it and not feel too bad- but still makes me so angry how arrogant.

 

I suppose I could argue with a few of the things he wrote above- but whats the point? I tried to be friends because I was made to feel like I had no right to be angry. Thats the most embarrassing thing.

[Anna.]

Well, it's in the past now and you are smarter and wiser.

[Anthony P]

Oh my god! I can't believe someone would brag about it that way. Hmph! All I can say is good ridence

 

 

Edit: I might have been abit too full on there. Want I meant to say was... If he isn't contacting you and you aren't to him then just let him slide by.

[fredv3b]

Just my thoughts...

 

Dignity is a strange thing. No one can take it away from you but you can so easily give it away. Dignity is not so much something that you have as something that you do.

 

Happytown you have said elsewhere that you are British so my advice to you would be to get out the old stiff upper lip, accept that this guy is a pretty unpleasant character when you get to know him and that you two being together was in hindsight a mistake, refuse to lower yourself to his level, hold your head up high and walk away older and wiser. (And definitley don't read his blog again).