Need Advice

[librarychick]

I've been dating this guy for about 6 weeks. We have such an amazing connection! Things have been going great. I was going through some old email he sent me and I came accross a link to his old online dating profile (that's how we met). Just for giggles I clicked on in. The link shouldn't have worked because we both canceled our subscriptions. Well, it worked and he was just on 3 days ago. It's the same exact profile.

 

My first reaction is to ask him about it. But he's a very private person and I don't want him to think I was "checking up on him". I came accross it by accident. I just spoke to a guy friend of mine and he said I should sit on it for a week and see how often he goes on.

 

What should I do?

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

In my opinion, i think what your guy friend suggested is right.

 

I know i had an online profile and my boyfriend at the time and I both agreed to cancel....but for some reason i couldn't get the stupid thing to cancel... (I'm a spaz sometimes) ..anyway...he found it-saw that i'd been on the day before and was upset with me. So it looked bad for me..but the only reason i was on the site was to make sure the stupid thing was cancelled.

 

See how often he goes on...and if it seems like it's pretty regular... ask him about it.

[amtjrtcet]

I agree with Warm Heart.....and if you have to ask him about it just tell him how you came accross it, that it was while you were goin through your old emails & just clicked on it for fun.

[Entomon]

Your guy friend gave you a great advice. Wait a week and see if he has any recent activities.

 

On the other hand, even if his membership didn't get properly cancelled - he shouldn't be having any logged activities period!

 

I met my ex through an online dating site. I took my profile off immediately and never expected him to do the same though he called himself my boyfriend a month after we started dating. Three months into our relationship, he stood me up on our date and gave me a lame excuse only when I hounded him down. He became very distant and had a hard time picking up my calls or returning them - he never wanted to talk about anything that bothered me about us. I got suspicious so I went and checked his profile - he was last logged on just within the past 24 hours - so it said. I confronted him about his activities and he said he cancelled his membership - he can't even contact anyone anymore. Fine. I'll give him that much the benefit of the doubt. Boy - was I wrong. I watched him for a week - he was always online. So I went under an assumed alias and initiated contact (an icebreaker) with him. Lo and behold, he came back with his email, phone number and even suggested that we meet up for coffee (you can only contact a member with your full personal information if you're a subscribing member) - the same expedient he used on me. I never called him or emailed him though as the alias - his reply was enough to assure me that he'd been lying to me all along. When he wasn't with me, he was probably with someone else.

 

Anyway, I'm not telling you my story and suggesting that you take the route I took. I'm only telling you because sometimes the one person you put all of your trust in can't even be 50% honest with you (as you stated, he's a very private person - that's a red flag there). Just be careful and safeguard your heart first.

 

Good luck and I hope things work out for the best. Keep us updated.

[Momene]

Get someone else to e-mail him. You can create accounts in just about any name you like, so I'd test him out. Alternatively, post his e-mail address on here and we can try for you!