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GGie
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I broke up with my bf about two weeks ago. It happened just out of sudden as we always have fun together over the last few mths, at least thats what I thought. He initiated a break up and said that we are just not compatible and he was not sure if I am NOT the right gal for him, etc.

 

I probably think we are NOT YET gf and bf, as he said he treats me as a date, someone that he goes out with. Well...for mths..

 

He wants to be friend and became upset when I said I wasnt sure about that.

 

He mentioned that he has been feeling stress over the last few mths, which I cant sense it at all.

 

When he told me that he needed some space and would speak to me later. I knew that he is going to break up with me. I left him with his space. I didnt call him nor did I disturb him at all. I wasnt sure what happened until he phoned me up two days later and told me that he cant be with me, as we are not right for each other.

 

Initially I kinda feel that I should have cared about him more about his life, etc. But then when I think about it, how am I gona do it if he never opens his heart for me.

 

I then realise that he may not want to have a serious r/ship with me. What he is looking for is a casual dating with me. How foolish I was..

 

All these days I have been telling myself - ok, move on with your life. Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I have been fine until he texted me last week and told me that he has an infection (his penis was itchy thats why he went to see doctor). He said that infection was caused by me as he has not slept with anyone else apart from me. He suggested me to go for a check up too. Luckily his infection can be treated by 1 week presciption on anti-biotic.

 

I subsequently went for a check up. My report was clean and I do not have any infection at all. I may sound silly - I can get over with the r/ship bits, I just dun want to be blamed for sexual infection although its merely a trivial infection.

 

I am not suggesting for a reconciliation at all. To me, once break up, nothing to go back. If things could work out, we would not have separated at the 1st place.

 

I want to move on with my life. However deep inside me I feel like telling him. Definitely I am not going to call him - I dun think I am able to handle with it yet. Maybe a short message to him that my report is clean. Is it ok? Or should I just leave it?

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why would YOU bother to tell him about your well being, as it sounds he doesent care for you.

 

by telling him you only open up more feeling inside yourself that arnt true, we all tell ourselfes things when we are desperate/depressed or when you are just upset.

 

sounds like you need to forget about him, move on.

 

wont be easy mind you, but time is a healer. just dont start making contact, no matter how well you think you know someone.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just some update...

 

I choose not to tell him the infection, yes, Krieg, u r right, why would I bother to tell him about my well being..

 

Unfortunately, my blood test revealed that I am pregnant. I have no intention to tell him either - in fact I have planned for an abortion after 7 weeks of pregnancy. I believe that this is the best course of action for everyone of us, though I do agree that baby has the right to live.

 

However I spoke to him on one night - not on r/ship issue but sth else (two weeks after we split). I got carried away that I accidentally spilled it all out - I am pregnant with his child. He was very surprise about it. He told me that wont let me just carry it all on my shoulder as he is partly responsible for this. He said to me that he wasnt sure he was doing the right thing for giving our r/ship up and he has been thinking it over the last two weeks - He thought I may be the right one, and now I have his baby and he should be responsible for it. He said he can feel my pain over the last two weeks, etc. He even asked me if I wanna marry him, to bring up the baby together...The answer from my part is NO.

 

I am amazed that man could marry someone that he isnt sure out of responsbility..

 

Three days later, I went for another blood test, for second opinion. On the test day, he texted me, asking me whats the results and told me that whatever outcome, he would be with me. I felt touched.. But I still maintained my decision, I wont want this baby. Reason being, I would only bring miserable to the baby, as I am unable to give the baby a healthy and happy family.

 

I decided no point both parties get together bcoz of a baby. If we both are certain for each other, yes, we can be a happy couple and form a happy family. But then we split coz he is unsure about his feeling towards me. If this baby come in between, same problem exists.

 

I decided to lie to him, though I know I shouldnt - I told him I had a miscarriage, and he believed in me. We talked happily and I pretended everything has finished and this is the destiny. We finished the conversation happily.

 

Now I have to go for abortion. My mates said I am such a fool, why should I carry it all on my shoulder. But then, I have to ask myself, is there a point for me to tell him, if I am not going to ask him to be responsible for it? Plus I am not ready for a marriage, let alone a baby...

 

No matter how adamant I am in making the decision, I am still scare when the time for abortion arrives, which is two weeks later...

 

Do you think I am really a fool?

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