RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT SEX?

[Genesis]

Hello ladies and gentlemen, I was wondering what do you think about a relationship that involves no sex.

 

Would you want to be in one yes or no?

 

I am thinking about dating again and I do not want to have sex. I mean for like a long time maybe 6 months to a year or until marriage. I have not made up my mind yet about the timeline but I want to wait until marriage.

 

Can a man really be with a woman for a long time without having sex, will this ruin the relationship?

 

What are your thoughts about celibacy?

[S4il]

Hmm Tough Topic here, I'm sure it will bring a lot of (key words) Beliefs and opinions.

 

I think it all depends on how serious the 2 people are about each other, along with how much RESPECT is in the relationship, add in alot of emotions. and you have attraction, and that leads to Sex..Well yes we all are aware of SEX to early sometimes can KILL a friendship/Relationship so i guess it's a matter of timing, That timing is everything. it's a feeling of knowing when HE/She is ready, the Mood and everything else. usually with guys that feeling doesn't take long.

 

I call these types of MEN Squirrels, "they are just looking for there Nut."

 

but How early or how late should a person wait, ..That is all between the 2 people in the relationship. and NO sex at all isn't the best way to look at it..that can Generate some bad thoughts or feelings towards your mate..But Hey I'm still a Virgin, so i have nothing to worry about. Like i said in the past "I'm not afraid to tell women that, WHO I KNOW first" it's not like i meet some nice looking chick and say "hi, my name is Sail..and I'm a Virgin." ( i should try that sometime) yea Righttttt...! but while actually deciding when the time is right, it's a Universal feeling, Reciprocal, those words say alot. that is why i use them often..I'm not to clear on what you mean by NOT having sex at all until 6 months into a relationship...Sort of a Dry Season, have to have some rain than you said a Year..well that just shocked me b/c it's not to often a guy would say something like that, or admit to it so open, i guess i envy people like myself. I think really Deep down inside you know when the time is right marriage or not, Remember (important) you can't exclude the woman beliefs or thoughts about sex, that has to be factored in.

 

Still a Un-landed Flip of the Coin anyway you lo0k at it.

[Genesis]

Well I am a woman who does not want to have sex.

 

 

I know so many men who will not date a girl who will not put out. All the guys I meet are after one thing it seems like I will never find a connection with someone who wants a relationship that is not based only on sex.

 

I am looking to get married one day and I am afraid of a man who thinks only of sex and puts me last.

 

I feel this way b/c it seems like every relationship I have breaks up as soon as it becomes Long distance, the guy always wants more sex!

 

I can not give them sex if I live in another city. So I want a man who will be faithful to me if I live next door or if I move accross the country.

[Smokeycat]

If you're with a man who TRULY loves you then he will not NEED sex from you. He will respect you and your wishes to keep sex out of the relationship. I too wanted to wait until marriage after having sex a lot in my last relationship yet I ended up going to my ex's house and well...ya know. Sometimes it just happens and you just have to deal with the feelings after. But if the guy loves you he will not need sex. Also...just b/c you don't want to have sex doesn't mean you can't fool around!

[in_the_mirror]

i have to agree sex is not neccisary. if the guy really loves you it should not matter he should be able to be happy just being with you. i believe that sex is like the nuts on a sundae you don't really want them until you have had a taste of them but they still aren't neccesary on the sundae.

[faeriechyld]

I think relationships can occur without sex. I've had many long term relationships, and I'm still a virgin. The thing is, me and my ex boyfriends would find other ways to satisfy each other, as I have always held my virginity as something sacred and I would like to wait til marriage, but am open to the opportunity to have sex with someone if I feel ready and willing. It may create a strain on the relationship, especially if you mean nothing sexual at all. But if you just want a relationship where there is "fooling around" I believe you could keep your man satisfied enough so that he doesn't need sex. Keep looking, there are men out there who are not only after sex. Keep your eyes opened, don't blink! You might miss one!

[don87gn]

me and my ex that recently broke up with me never had sex...we wanted to make it special on our wedding day for us to both do it for the first time...but then she goes with two guys to some party, gets drunk and one guy takes advantage of her and now it doesn't even mean anything to me anymore...now that we are broke up we lost that special thing of ours...if we were to get back together it probably wouldn't be the same because now she is no longer pure...oh well life sucks sometimes

[Gilgamesh]

Hello genesis.

 

I had a long post made up, and never realised the question was asked in the "Virginity" section,

 

So assuming your a virgin and young, i think its perfectly natural that you refrain from sex, make it clear to whoever your dating, your wishes.

 

you should have no problem finding a person that will wait for that special night when your ready.

 

I respected my ex wifes wishes, and dated 2 years, she was a virgin on her honeymoon night.

 

but in my opinion, now that i am older, I wouldnt do that again, sex has never been an issues in any breakups of mine. not having sex for great amounts of time before a relationship will not insure that the relationship will work,.

 

Its always a good idea for girls looking for long term relationships to wait at least a month or two before having sex, to get to know that person

The best thing it will do, from a girls point of view is, it will weed out most of the players out there that are just looking to score or are not very serious about being with you in the long term.

 

As a mature adult, i would not wait a year in a commited relationship with a woman, Id have to ask why? why doest she want to be intimate with me? what is the emotional baggage thats giving her this sexual hangup? is it because she doest trust me? does she have a problem with men? and on and on and on. will I wait a year to find out? no way. Sex is not everything, but it is something, its part of a healthy and complete relationship.

[Baffler Meal]

Genesis, you know my story so you know I am wholly inexperienced in the realm of adult dating. I will tell you how I think I would/could handle it, but of course I am not entirely certain. Keep in mind that my judgement may be clouded because my sex drive is nil as of late.

 

I could handle an exclusive six month relationship with no sex, as long as the frequency with which I must take matters into my own hands was fully accepted. A year is really pushing it. It would be strained, but by no means impossible. Sex is important, but comfort, affection, understanding, stability, and companionship, and fun are more important in the long run, and a pre-requisite for marriage. The question to me is "Could I reach those states with a woman without having sex?" I think that I could if two things were true about the relationship:

 

1. We were both 100% committed to honest communication. This is fairly self-explanatory.

 

2. Both parties have an understanding that just because there is no sex does not mean that the relationship isn't sexual. I'll try to explain what I mean without rambling too much.

 

A lot depends where you draw the line. The further you are willing to go, the easier it will be to wait for the real deal. I would fear that a woman with your beliefs on this matter might think that she would frustrate or tease the man by compromising a little, and try to shut down sexual feelings altogether to protect against what she sees as the guy being too pushy for sex and creeping infringement on her wishes. This would probably eventually lead to a lack of affection by both partners. I think that could be a fatal flaw in the relationship, because there ought to be some sexual feelings and they need to be acknowledged and celebrated as part of being human. I think uncomfortable discussions and arguments over this would be tolerable to me, if I were to agree to such a relationship.

 

On the other hand, if a guy was not pushing for sex earlier in this situation, he is not being honest about his needs with the woman or maybe with himself. Sorry, but that's my opinion. And in the slight chance that a guy really thinks that he doesn't want to have sex until marriage, probably that guy will be no good in the sack. I am wildly stretching my imagination here, but if I were you, I think I'd want a guy that is admittedly as horny as a three-peckered billy goat, but deeply in love and very dedicated. I think the idea is not to "put off" sex until marriage, but to wildly anticipate the sex after marriage. Probably this is not a really original idea on my part. I'm sure that this is the sort of thing that is written in religious literature dealing with celibacy, but since I'm not religious at all, I don't really know. Of course the religious literature doesn't discuss three-peckered billy goats like I do, because most likely there are none in the bible, but you get the idea.

 

Another result of trying to ignore the sexuality of the relationship might be becoming uptight about the topic of sex in general. This would without a doubt, kill the relationship for me. To not be able to talk frankly about sex, make sexual jokes, or watch sexual situations in movies without discomfort would drive me away a lot quicker than lack of sex would.

 

I think I could respect a special woman who wanted to wait and was standing firm on her values, as long as she had some sympathy for how firm I would be standing.

 

With that being said, I'd like to discuss what I feel is an assumption on your part that may not be true:

 

I have breaks up as soon as it becomes Long distance, the guy always wants more sex!

 

Maybe the guys say that directly to you, or maybe you assume it. I don't know. In any case, it's not just sex you can't give them when it's long distance. It's physical intimacy and bonding by community acceptance of the relationship, i.e. being seen in public as a couple and being treated as "coupled persons". I don't know a damn thing about doing the long-distance thing, but I just wanted to throw that in.

[StillLoveHer]

Relationship without sex... You know what that sounds like.. MARRIAGE LOL

[Genesis]

 

 

Thank you ALL so much for your advice it makes me feel at lot better about my decision!

 

 

I also would like to give a special thank you to Gilgamesh and Baffler Meal , whom I personally asked to answer my question! Thanks Guys!

[MrDraw]

OK, this is easy.

I can't imagine a man in a relationship without sex!!

Not because all men are sexually obsesed or so. No it's much easier.

In a relationship a girl and a boy share almost everything. The most intimate thing you can share together is sex. Sex is the completion of a relationship, at least I think so. Sex involves all your feelings and thoughts. It's the most greatest thing you can share with somebody. You just don't share it with the whole world only with the guy or girl you love!

A relationship without sex, possibly, but very difficult. What do you do with your sex-drive?? It's not gon in a day or so. You'll have to be very conviced of "No Sex" if you want to do it this way.

But please keep in mind that most girls want sex every once in a while. So you'll be asking for trouble if you meet a girl who doesn't share your opinion.

[Derek]

This quote made me smile:

 

I am wildly stretching my imagination here, but if I were you, I think I'd want a guy that is admittedly as horny as a three-peckered billy goat, but deeply in love and very dedicated. I think the idea is not to "put off" sex until marriage, but to wildly anticipate the sex after marriage. Probably this is not a really original idea on my part.

 

Absolutely!

 

People shouldn't deny the reality of sex, but celebrate it and anticipate the best possible sex in a safe committed relationship where there is enough trust to explore all aspects of each other's pleasure completely.