I'm sick of my immature friends

[Amore]

Hello enotalone! I'm currently having some issues with my friends that I just need to vent about... I'm sorry if this is pretty long.

 

This past summer, I didn't see too much of my friends. I was busy with summer research at a local university, driver's ed, visiting colleges, and any free time I had I spent with my boyfriend. The bond between me and my boyfriend definitely strengthed during the summer, as did the bonds between our families. We spent a majority of our time together at each other's family parties, family movie/game nights, etc. For the first time in a while, I was enjoying spending time with family and not minding "sharing" my time with my boyfriend with them.

 

Every time that we did happen to meet up with our friends, we were constantly teased. We endured every comment from "You can't leave those two alone!" to "Jeez stop having sex in front of us!!" Well obviously, we're not having sex, in front of them or alone. So their sheer disrespect for the act bugs me, as well as the fact that the comments aren't funny. Sure, maybe once or twice would elicit a chuckle from me, but these comments are constant, and seem to be getting worse now that high school has started and we see them more often.

 

Last night, we were invited to a party for one of our friends' birthday. Around 30 people had gone to a nearby park and made of mess of confetti and streamers before the cops came. I was starting to clean up the mess (I'm pretty big about caring for the environment/common areas) when my boyfriend advised me to leave because the park closed at dusk and that I'd get in trouble for being there, and I reluctantly left.

 

When we got back to my friend's house, I lied down in a tent area she had set up with cushions because I was exhausted. My boyfriend, being the good one that he is, sat next to me and rubbed my back/stroked my face as I wasn't feeling too well. My friends decided that it would be funny to throw pillows at us while shouting "stop having sex in my tent!!!" and jumping on us, while taking "funny" pictures of the event. This was the last straw, as we had previously been yelled at for "making out in the front of the house" when we were, in actuality, talking to two of our friends that had just shown up at the time. Upset and annoyed, we got up and left.

 

I'm not sure what to do about this. Sadly, my friends are the most mature group of people in our high school. (Our school is notorious for drinking.. it has been estimated that over 80% do). We are the "nerds" that haven't tried drinking or smoking, and have no intentions to. My boyfriend and I just can't go out and find new friends, or we'd find ourselves surrounded by even more immaturity.

 

I think most of this has resulted from the fact that my boyfriend and I have matured this summer, while our friends have not. I'd much rather invite him over to hang out with my family than go to another one of my friends' parties. But then again, I dont want to have no friends my senior year.

 

I'm sorry that this entry is ridiculously long, I just needed to vent and let out my feelings. I'm not even sure if I'm asking for any advice, although if anyone had some, it'd be great.

 

Thank you! - Allie

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

This made me laugh at the cultural differences - here, it's not a problem at all if 17/18 year olds drink. It's no big deal as long as you don't get alcohol poisoning or anything.

 

I just wonder....is authentic maturing having respect for other people, such as their choice to drink and act frivlous in parks? This sort of behaviour might be disgraceful in people of 27 or so, but at 17/18, it's par for the course.

 

Might you have "matured", but actually just been enclosed in an insular bubble of you, your boyfriend and your families for the summer? There isn't anything WRONG with spending time with your boyfriend and his family, of course there isn't, but you need to be young. You need to have fun....later comes the time for all this integration of family stuff.

 

I'm not saying you need to get blind drunk and dump litter in parks. It's just that your attitude may come accross as somewhat *superior* to your friends, and they react by joking about you and your boyfriend.

 

They may also feel abandoned by you two if you have been spending time alone without them.

 

You know the old saying. . . .bros before hos? It applies to any relationship - do not neglect your friends.

 

If you are really dissatisfied with your current friends, make new ones! But I think you've just temporarily fallen out of step with them and made yourself grow up a bit too much.

 

You are just 17. Rediscover spending time with your friends without your boyfriend. Rediscover getting drunk...ah, you don't drink...rediscover whatever you did before that!

 

Just the way I see it.

[Q10]

oh yes, gotta love those immature friends. I've had my share of those annoying people and now I'm trying to be more careful with whom I hang out with, unfortunately there's not many kids that're mature but at least there's some. Can't you just stay away from them or not see them often? That's what I'm trying to do. I don't know if it'll work, but I'll see.

[Suladan]

I have the problem with one of my friends, he is still on sexual inuendos and fart jokes, which even though i find amusing now and then, he still uses them 24/7 which makes it very boring. But I can live with it, I only see him at school anyway.

[RelaxByWater84]

My friend was like you the summer between our sophmore year and junior year of high school busy and on the go. After we went back to school she just seemed like she was too good to hang out with me, and that hurt. A lot. I tried to see things from her perspective and it helped a little. Maybe try to see things from their perspective.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm sure Amore is intelligent enough to know I'm not attempting to pressure her.