Suladan

You are never truly alone. There is always someone who is willing to listen and who wants to help. Afterall, here we have a forum full of them! The first thing I'd think you need to do is to accept yourself. By the sound of it, you really hate yourself. The centre of your problem is this. Because you hate yourself, that will affect your behaviour and thus will affect what others think of you. This will then affect what you think of yourself - creating the viscious circle. As everyone says, think positive! The problem with negative thinking is that it is so easy, and from being depressed you get to wallow in self pity which for some reason people seem to enjoy doing.... Have you ever made a list of all you're good points? If not, I suggest you try it. That is the first stage to positive thinking. List everything you think is good about yourself. Then challenge things that you don't like about yourself. Why don't you like it? Is there something that you can do to change it? If so, what? When you come up with a good method of changing what you dislike - go and do it. Hopefully, you'll be able to become someone you are happy with. It won't necassarily be easy - but it will be worth it. Accept yourself and others will accept you. If you need to talk, you can PM me anytime and I'll get back to you asap.

It is hard to learn to love yourself when everytime you gain some self esteem someone does something to remove it. And I don't thing taking antidepressants will solve thr problem.

I'm tired of feeling depressed and hating myself. In the last few months my self esteem has practically become extinct. I'll start from the top. For the last 5 years I've been at an all boy school and was coasting along merrily. Then I started 6th Form which is mixed, and I feel so out of place there. People who used to talk to me completely blank me now, or just say "hi". I feel myself slowly drawing inside of myself each day. I have lost my confidence. I sit in a room and feel out of place. I feel like everyone is ignoring me on purpose. I feel that my opinions are ignored or humoured, and I feel patronised constantly - even by my friends. I hate the way I look and act. Whenever I gain some self esteem, something happens which shatters it. I can't live like this, i hate feeling constantly depressed. I want to change.

Dont even bother trying to understand women....it isnt possible!

Thanks for the hints guys. Today I managed to talk to her and break the ice a bit, hopefully I'll be more relaxed in the future

Ok, heres the situation. There is a girl in my geology class I really like, but I don't have the confidence to do anything. whenever I'm near her I manage a few quiet hellos and things but nothing more. Any ideas on how to boost my confidence? I thought maybe setting myself daily targets, like simply starting a conversation with her etc. as once I relax around people I'm fine, it is just breaking the ice I find difficult.

I have the problem with one of my friends, he is still on sexual inuendos and fart jokes, which even though i find amusing now and then, he still uses them 24/7 which makes it very boring. But I can live with it, I only see him at school anyway.

I find the best thing to do is treat other girls as people and not as potential girlfriends. That way you act yourself and don't worry about if they'll hate you or not. No acting to impress them, you are just yourself and they can like YOU.

Quite simply, sit down and study! Stop making excuses, sit down and get started. Once you get started it'll be easier to get going after short breaks.

Keep chanelling your emotions into safer places like poems, journals etc 9this way you avoid negative ways of releasing your emotions like violence). When you are ready you will cry. And Lion King rules!

control requires focus, concetration and a positive attitude. Thats why many find themselves out of control. They are either negative about life 9even without realising) or they are not focused on whhere they're going. "All his life has he looked away...to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was! What he was doing!" Many focus on worrying about things they can't change. A problem starts, but instead of solving the problem and moving on most seem to talk about life being so unfair to them and generally worrying about the problem being there rather than doing something about it. To be in control, we must not run from our problems but face them - otherwise they'll keep catching up with us! if we all try and solve the problems in our life quickly then there will be less problems to deal with

The best help you can give is to offer help and support if and when he needs it. Thats what friends are for. If he wants to talk to you about any problems you'll actually find giving advice fairly easy when it is on the spot.

When it comes to people insulting you here is what I think. If it comes from someone you do not respect then the insult doesn't matter. I also don't really care what others think about me as long as I am happy with my life. On the note of self esteem, yes you probably should try to improve it. Remember, people insult you to get to you and make themselves look and feel better. Letting it lower your self esteem is letting them win - 007 never let the villains win! Intelligence is not about the amount of high grades you get. There is a big difference between knowledge and wisdom. I believe that knowledge on how the world works is more important than knowing algebra. Do not worry about the grades of others. Focus on yours. Do YOUR best, not everyone elses best. There is no such thing as a stupid person. As soon as you accept yourself, the sooner such insults and problems don't matter I was like you once, I put up a sort of "class entertainer" role, but eventually I found the me I was comfortable with, and I'm alot happier in life now.

I believe that fate and destiny does exist to a certain extent, only it is not as simple as you have one path in your life. Nothing in life is that simple. I believe fate and destiny is an intricate web of options all inter connections. You get the choice of which way to go, but the way you go opens up another range of options - which is what I believe is destiny.

A friend of mine has been suffering due to visions of paina nd death of those close to her. She has been unable to sleep properly and it is beginning to get to her. Does anyone know any way of stopping these visions/dreams?