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Help FAST!!! Should i ask this?!?!?!?!?!


xentez
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should i send this as a text message???

 

{mod edi} i know things have been {mod edit} recently. can we not meet up to depart on friendly terms. i know we aint getting ack together i jus want to know what went wrong so i can fix it in future relationships

 

xen

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I'd walk away from this one entirely. Even if she does give you an answer "for future relationships", who knows her motivation for telling you and if it is even accurate...to get a true answer out of her past the emotions or residual connection, it will probably take a long time...

 

You can get a much better answer if you sit with this a while, think about it, and come up with your own answer.

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but the thing is i know it sounds desperate etc but i know she wont meet me and i dont think i can get over her fully without talking to her and finding out the absolute truth even tho i have said i was over her in previous threads

 

i am {mod edit} really aren't i

 

xen

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but the thing is i know it sounds desperate etc but i know she wont meet me and i dont think i can get over her fully without talking to her and finding out the absolute truth even tho i have said i was over her in previous threads

 

i am {mod edit} really aren't i

 

xen

 

well... the thing is.... I don't think that ever in the history of human relationships has an ex ever given the absolute truth as to why the breakup happened.

 

sometimes they make up a story, sometimes they just don't want to tell you the truth. the bottom line though, is that they don't want to continue the relationship, and for me, that is all the closure I need.

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Three things bro:

 

1) Relax.

 

2) You aren't screwed. You'd be screwed if you did marry this woman and then she went psycho on you. You got away clean...now keep it that way...

 

3) You think the "absolute truth" is attainable right now but it isn't. There is too much emotion clouding it. The truth will come to you in time and reflection...

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cheers people.

 

jus got back from the pub and i heard some songs and {mod edit} that brought everything back. all i want to do is sit down and talk to her about what went wrong. its not much to ask but now i can see that is a lot to ask.

 

i did actually propose to her. (i am 20 she 18) and we had everything arranged as in marriage, house to live in, childrens names, pet dog names, bridemaids dress colours etc.

 

everything went from one extreme to the other in the space of 12 hours and SHE was the one bringing all this stuff up and yet SHE was the one who broke it off 12 hours after saying everything was cool etc

 

i am lost. i dont understand any of it and thats whats making it so hard

 

xen

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it's been my experience that most people who break up don't do so "out of the blue." most of the time, one person has their foot out the door for a few weeks, months, or years prior to the breakup. People don't just wake up one morning and decide to break up with someone that they are happy with.

 

really, you should sit down and think about it for a while. have things really been that happy the last few weeks and months with her?

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yer i have thought about it. i have thought about nothing else. everything was ok. well as far as i was concerned and she backed it up with promises etc. we was talking about all the marriage stuff and our future together not 3 days before we broke up. surely if she was already half out the door she would have said something or not led me down the garden pathby bringing up all the marriage and our future stuff.

 

thats what i dont understand,

 

xen

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yer i am in the uk. no i am not drunk but i have had a couple and i heard "OUR" song in the pub and brought everything back. i will still feel this way tomorro morning. i honestly dont know where all this has come from. i know she has been texting a bloke from the pub she works in but if she is now seeing him why not just tell me instead of saying one of the most unexplainable reasons i could think of

 

"its not working" what sort of reason is that. REALLY?!?!?!

 

xen

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"it's not working"

 

well, who knows. maybe the relationship just doesn't feel right for her. or maybe she is young and wants to explore her options before she settles down.

 

how long ago did you guys break up.

 

and no, never send late night texts to an ex. the worst thing is for them to think that you are at home on a friday night, by yourself, sad, and texting them.

 

if you ever have to get in contact with an ex, better to call on a wednesday afternoon or something.

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cheers i will remember that. we broke up last week. we had our whole lives worked out even down the minute detail. where getting married what colour our lounge would be etc.

 

tell me this how can some one say that she loves you and want to marry you and have your kids at 12 midday and yet by 12 midnight the same day (12 hours later) "its not working"

 

i cant see how someone can change their feelings for someone so quickly

 

help

 

xen

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tell me this how can some one say that she loves you and want to marry you and have your kids at 12 midday and yet by 12 midnight the same day (12 hours later) "its not working"

 

i cant see how someone can change their feelings for someone so quickly

 

 

that is what I am trying to say. she has probably been thinking of breaking up with you for a while. that is what i mean when I say, the "dumper" has had one foot out the door for a while, even before the breakup.

 

There are several threads on here right now, with people who are unhappy with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Many people have been thinking of breaking up for months, or even years before they actually do it!

 

like you said, people do not change their feelings for someone in 12 hours. just because she was talking about bridesmaid's colors dresses with you doesn't mean she didn't have other thoughts in the back of her head.

 

when i look back on all of my breakups, none of them were really a surprise. there were warning signs for all of them.

 

really sit down and think about this.... and this may require some time before you see it... but didn't you sense that anything was wrong in the last few weeks?

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no you make some sense but to throw another spanner in the works we had a big bust up about 6 weeks before we split (7 weeks ago) about something or other not wuite sure really. think we jus needed a week away to clear our heads but yet she still came back to me. the 7 weeks later its over. if she was thinking about this for weeks before hand surely she must of had some sort of inclination when we had a week apart ("break")

 

ideas????

 

xen

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honestly i dont know. we was ok one day then the next she said she was staying at her mums for the week and that she wanted some time to think.

 

thats how i became close with her mum. her mum likes me alot she even asked me the weekend before we broke up "how is my futur son in law doing" whilst my g/f (sorry now ex g/f) was in the room. i looked at her and she didnt batter an eyelid and i jus said yer everythings cool

 

xen

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