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richard29
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I met my girlfriend 3 years ago who was married,i knew this at the time but me being me i didn't care.I just wanted some fun.She dumped me 7 weeks ago and i did not come out of it well. All the normal heartbreak... not sleeping not eating waking up with it on my mind.Wanting to text her just anything to see if i could save it. The thing is! she was with someone else all the time but it never bothered me!!! I can't get my head round it. She moved on so easy, back to her life without me in it i suppose i never was. I was just some fun to her in the end as i was always single never a really partner.It's hurt me so bad and i'm a strong willed person but the pain in my chest won't go away.

My friends can't understand how i got so involved in someone who was with someone else. All i can say to that... I loved her

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Hey richard,

 

Well, you got involved with a married woman,

 

And helped her cheat on her husband,

 

You knew from day 1 that this was the case,

 

So you got yourself stuck in a predicament,

 

It is best to walk away and try to stop thinking of her,

 

And next time choose a woman who is SINGLE,

 

To avoid unnecesary heart-ache for you or her husband,

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

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Hi Richard...I can relate...my xbf and I met when we were both married...I was getting separated and divorced though...We continued for 2 years...we then decided to take a break until he could figure out what he wanted...He had separated from his wife and was trying to figure out what to do...We were apart for about a year and a half...we had limited contact during that time...maybe 5 phone calls...Last October he separated from his wife and they planned to get divorced...we got back together in Nov. Things were going pretty good until the end of April. To make a long ugly story short...he ended up going back to her...It crushed me!

I will say after this experience...I will never date a man unless he is divorced...their divorce was supposed to be final in the summer...No you can not always know who you will fall in love with but I now have some "walls" put up to avoid a castastrophe...

I have been to therapy to deal with all of this...it has been a life changing experience...one that although very painful...has been self-enlightening...I have been told you live and you learn...and I have learned a lot!

Hang in there...It does get better...

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You cannot control your feelings but you can control your reaction to those feelings - usually that control comes from your values. The more you play the lovesick victim the higher likelihood that you will repeat this behavior. By your definition, adultery and cheating is justifiable as long as you can wave the "L" banner.

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Thank you for your comments, The thing is with me it's all too close to home for me. My friends are her friends now which i allowed her to mix in my life. I just know the day will come when you see her and have to smile. I'm trying to let go but it's not easy. I've looked at all the things on the net to make feel better, and it does help. I just miss her so much... Sunwillshine you sound like you had a tough time of things and I know the pain only 2 well. I will find me again i'd just rather it be sooner rather then later. You could try reading In The Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant it's a bit deep but help me alittle....

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Letting go is not easy...it is a process. I fought it for a bit...and then finally surrendered to the fact that I needed to let go for myself...Nothing was going to change...and actually after all I went through...even if he did come back...I would have shut the door...

I am fortunate that I don't see him...there is always the possiblity that we will run into one another at some point...but I try to avoid places that he could be...it doesn't effect my life to avoid them...it is for the best...

Once the shock and denial wore off...I delved into some pretty heavy self-reflection...

What helped with the letting go was acceptance...Accepting we were over...accepting the man I knew and loved was no longer...and accepting what was...was and what is...is.

I am better but still have some moments...these moments can be overwhelming but I try to embrace them and learn from them...

It is all a process....

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I don't agree it was all my fault it always takes 2.... I think now it was not ment to be for many reasons not just that she was married, which is a big one i do agree. She was going to leave him,but i told her she had got leave for her own reasons not just me. She would of always been looking over her shoulder of what may of been. It was all down hill from there looking back now.If things went wrong that what i would of got thrown in my face each time. God has better things in mind for me and i've learned alot from this about me and what i want. As god closes a door he opens a window.......

Time to move on with a smile

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