Signs Of Impending Breakup

[VIRGOLDY]

What were some "signs" or signals that made you realize your relationship may be close to ending or on the skids? Was it a behavior pattern in your partner? Something they said?

 

Thoughts?

[bigheart09]

Well one sign is if he ignoring your phone calls or emails

[cheecago]

From my experience it was...

 

1. Her about talking about other man that she found attractive...yeah duh

2. Change in attitude in a sense that they don't care about you anymore

3. Nagging about small things

[annie24]

oh tons of times. With several different guys:

 

-I noticed that i was the one who was setting up all the dates.

-I felt he was getting "distant."

-He suddenly got very "busy" with work/school, and didn't have time to just grab a cup of coffee, or one drink, like he used to, even when he was super busy.

-If I'd offer to do something nice for him, he'd tell me not to do it. (ie, when I offered to bring him dinner while he had lots of midterms, he told me not to.)

-He stopped inviting me to events that he invited tons of other people to.

-less affectionate, less interested in being physical.

-just in general, seemed less enthusiastic about seeing me.

-goes days without calling or e-mailing.

 

yeah, those are all signs things are coming to an end.

 

For example, the last date that me and an ex-boyfriend had... i had called him earlier that day and asked what he was doing this weekend. he told me he was going to a concert with his roommates. (classical type music, not a rock concert!). I was like... "um... can I come?" you would think that if your boyfriend is into you, you would be the first person he would call if a classical type music concert was being held. but no, he invited his roommates, and i had to ask to come along. that wound up being our last date.

[NJRon]

1. stopped nagging

2. didn't want to have sex

3. became really withdrawn

4. would pick fights for no reason

 

There were quite a few other things, but those are the big tip off for me...

[laboheme]

- We no longer made as much time for each other as we used to.

- When we saw each other, we couldn't think of creative things to do

- I was being a generally unpleasant person, and for the first time in the relationship, he let me know it.

- We started taking each other for granted.

- I avoided his family like the plague.

[Anna.]

I think any distance is a BIG sign.

 

And, yeah, if they act like they aren't that interested or they don't care that much; they probably don't.

[Stambler]

1) Not sharing her feelings/emotions anymore

2) Not asking about my well being anymore

3) Less and less sex

4) Less kissing during sex

5) Getting out of bed as soon as she woke up - no more "play/talk time"

6) Opting to read a magazine instead of talking when alone with me

7) "Limp" hugs

[Donster]

My situation was a lot like Laboheme's...but I will also add:

 

When my ex began having an emotional affair with someone in front of me.

When my ex would sneak off with his bf#2 at a party to snog.

When my ex played footsies with his bf#2 while sitting next to me at a friend's dinner party.

When my ex treated me like an unwanted pet (the kind that's not fun any more, but you feel like you have to feed and take care of it, but you're secretly waiting for it to die)

 

I would say those were pretty strong signs that the relatinoship was on the skids...

[beaglelover_06]

When you find out that he has not been honest or truthful.

[friscodj]

Good thread! In my experience, signs have included:

 

1) She stopped taking any initiative! This is the big one...

 

2) She generally "didn't care". friscodj: "Do you want to go to dinner honey?" Mrs. friscodj: "I don't care, whatever you want". friscodj: "Do you want to go out tonight honey?" Mrs. friscodj: "Uhm, sure, OK". friscodj: "Can I invite myself along with you somewhere?" Mrs. friscodj: "Uhm, sure, OK". friscodj: "Honey, are you going to invite me to spend time with you?" Mrs. friscodj: "Hey frisco, we need to talk, I feel like we are just friends."

 

3) The only initiative she did take was negative or to break up.

 

4) She got annoyed at anything I did. Buy her flowers? She didn't like them or didn't even notice. Things like this...

 

And the other big one...you can just see it in her eyes that her heart isn't with you anymore...

[beaglelover_06]

It is when you find out that the person you are dating has not been honest or truthful. Without trust and honesty, there is no need to save the relationship or at least be in it.

[Momene]

Few others:

 

Mutual friends ask if your marriage is OK (HUGE red flag)

 

They open a personal bank account

 

They buy new clothes and change hairstyle without discussing it

 

They receive phone calls but don't talk about them afterwards

 

They make themselves a meal but not you

 

They become closer to some friends and more distant from others

 

Change of interest

 

Stop talking about anything beyond the end of the week, such as not discussing holiday plans

 

Reduced or increased interest in sex

 

Not including your name on cards to friends

 

Looking up solicitors or estate agents in the phone book

 

More time spend with friends and you're not invited and don't always want to come out with you

 

They get tattoed with the name of someone else

 

They remove your wedding ring and sport an engagement ring from someone else

 

They have a chastity belt to which you don't have the key

 

They put your stuff in suitcases and change the locks

 

They don't come home again

 

Another bloke's/girl's clothes and toothbrush are where yours used to be

 

Although some signs are jokingly obvious, I didn't read them well at the time.