Boyfriends father problems...

[candice378]

I guess this is the right catigory? I come from a pretty normal parenting situation and both parents are a part of my life. My boyfriend however is having issues with his father. He basically wants a relationship with him (has never really had one other than phone calls and rare visits for events) and it isnt happening. Recently he asked his father to help him buy a laptop. He told me later it had nothing to do with the money or laptop but he wanted his dad to finnaly support him in his college education. Well long story short, he isnt really going to support him (he gave little money and is paying it through the state so just adding to the back child support he already owes...how nice) Anyway, i don't know how to help him or comfort him. Does anyone have experience with deadbead dads that can help me? Should he keep trying to have a relationship with him? Try to confront him? Or will he just get let down over and over...

 

He also searches for father figures everywhere. He looks up to my dad alot even. Is that healthy? and if so should i maybe encourage them to spend more quality time together or does that even compare to filling the void he has?

 

I'm just so clueless in this subject so any advice or insight would help. Thanks.

[craign]

My dad was a drunk.He gave us up at a early age.He had all the chances to be our dad and gave that up.So when i got older i wanted to get to know him.Conclusion dad was a drunk and still didnt want to be a dad.Go figure.If hes going to look for financial assistance not a wise idea for someone that obviosly didnt pay child support.Not a wise move to get to know your real dad.I know i was hurt angry pissed off for a long time.But i had to move on.This is something your boyfriend is going to have to come to terms on his own.Some fathers are pieces of crap and always will be.I had to come to except my father as who he is.Hes my father thats it.I dont need advice from someone who gave up that right of being my dad.He had 100000s of chances he lost that.I forgive my father thats it though.If your bf whats a relationship with his dad i would not bring up the money thing.If there is back child support thats one thing.Fathers like that can be childish and actually resent having to pay that money.i dont know maybe this helps.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

It might be a good idea for your dad and your boyfriend to spend some time together, or your boyfriend and his uncle/grandfather/older male cousin. Sounds like his dad's a waste.