I just dont understand

[Fallback guy]

How someone can take 4 1/2 years and flush them down the drain and act like it dosent even bother them in the least and why now is everything all my fault?,is it so she can feel better about breaking it off?.So i wonder everyday what she is doing or if she is actually seeing someone even though she has told me several times that shes not but then tells me she dosent know when she will decide if the space she wants is to be permanent.

 

Then turns around and tells me that its not right of her to make me wait forever and that when i had broke it off with her before how was she to know when i would decide to give us another chance.How come when i tired to tell her just before we broke up that all i wanted was some affection like kissing me first or taking my hand instead of me doing it first,too feel like i was loved by these simple actions that she chose to argue about it.

 

I admit i was not the perfect boyfriend but i never cheated on her and never abused her in anyway,the thing i didnt do was go out to her house that often due to me working nights and haveing elderly sick parents so i could not go to alot of functions she and her kids had or a concert she wanted me to take off work for.But thats all in the past and i cant change any of it i know but if i had one wish i would just to have her back in my arms like it used to be.My full story is here if anyone cares to read it

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Okay, I looked through your other post and one thing struck me....SHE HAS FOUR CHILDREN and yet she had to keep running to your house because you couldn't go to hers! Yes, she may be mixed up and has issues, but I would say that given the fact that she has four children, she is probably exhausted. Why couldn't you take turns going to her place and her coming to yours. Maybe she got tired of always running to your place. What did she do with her children when she was going to your place? Did they come along. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is to deal with the trauma of a divorce AND 4 CHILDREN. No wonder she is exhausted. So you initiate physical contact all the time. As long as she was responsive, what is the problem? She may not be the type to initiate physical contact but loves it when the other person initiates it. Maybe she used to do that in her last relationship which ended in divorce and so she is wary of being the initiator.

 

I think you need to take some time to see her side of the story and not just focus on how upset you are.

[Fallback guy]

I have taken time to see her side of the story and i still do it every wakeing moment of the day and night,i'm only trying to get thru this and thought i could find help here.i didnt say i never went out to her house

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sorry I was so blunt. I am sorry you are hurting. If she wants space there is nothing more you can do except give it to her. I wouldn't assume that she is happy go lucky and that the 4 or so years you spent together meant nothing to her. I am sure she is hurting very badly but she won't tell you. Just like you shouldn't tell her how badly you are hurting. You have to try to move on with your life and focus on other things rather than on what she is or isn't doing. It is your life alone that counts now. If you are meant to be together she will come back, but in the meantime, just carry on with your life and look forwards not backwards. It is the only thing you can do. If you keep thinking about what she is up to, you won't be able to move ahead with your life. I don't mean meeting other women, I just mean carrying on with your day to day activities, finding new interests, new activities. Channel your energies into new and exciting avenues. You are looking after ill parents, that can take a toll. You need to find things that you enjoy doing. As hard as it is, when you find yourself thinking about her, push your thoughts away and get busy with other stuff. It is the only thing you can do to heal the pain. I am going through my own heartache right now and that is what I am doing to take the edge off.