Since I'm Feeling Better Today

[NCTuskie]

...probably because I'm hopped up on Caffiene... or maybe I AM truly feeling better.

 

Since my ex broke up with me... my plan for moving on, has always been moving away. Before I met her, I was in the process of seeking a job out-of-state, halfway accross the country... or doing more with the military than I'm doing right now (besides one weekend a month). When we were together, I dropped all of those plans to be with her.

 

Fortunately, after the breakup, I was able to pick-up where I left off with those plans. There was only one minor set back... the primary job I was seeking was closed, and probably will not open up for another couple of years. I sacrificed that for her, and at the time told myself I would not hold that choice I made against her... And I haven't. I did have the choice of taking other jobs in that area.

 

On the other hand, I had the option of going active duty... Which is new territory for me (been reserve my entire career- with several stints here and there). Last month while I found myself packing a mule, rock climbing, and hiking up a mountain for the first time in my life. When I reached the top of Lost Canyon Peak, and looked down at what I had accomplished- I thought to myself... "I'd never be able to do this on my old job".... The same thought occurred when I was cleaning the hooves of a mule... And for two weeks I didn't think about my ex.

 

...Fast forward to today.

 

I hope I can tie this all in. I was thinking about the moving on thing in relation to the ex. I remember having dropped one gal sometime ago. I don't think I really broke her heart, since we dated about a month or so... And I think I did all the right things as a dumper- if there is such a thing (bottom line is I saw problems coming up early, that would have been bad down the road).

 

About seven months later, I found myself "checking up" on her. Most of it had to do with me just being nosey, not wanting anything out of her. But part of me wanted to know if she had changed since we'd been together.

 

Unfortunately she hadn't. She jumped right out of our relationship into another one, not to mention that she had just gotten out of a very, very long one before ours (and baggage from that was one reason I to cut it off).

 

She also always talked of big plans for her career and for school, and she was in the same place. By this time I had expected her to have been graduated and moved onto a better job.

 

While I was glad that she was alright, and hadn't been turned off of men, I was not impressed that she was still basically the same person. She hadn't changed, and she seemed like the same person I was uninterested in when we were together. I really expected a lot of her.

 

That has given me a lot of motivation to get on with my plans. Since this isn't my first rodeo on the break-up bull, I've always changed myself after breakups... for the good I think. I've lost weight, bought a motorcyle, joined the Navy, etc (not all at once). And I think this is my next big step here.

 

... I've been back and forth on other sites, while trying to type this up, so I've lost my train of thought. But I do think there are two or three points in here that somebody somewhere can take from this.

[sidehop]

It's amazing how easily we get stuck in certain comfort or don't look at things from different angle until something life changing happens.

 

It reminded me of my dad who joined the Navy shortly after his divorce with his first wife. He just wanted to get away & doesn't regret doing it. He's done what most people won't be able to experience, traveling all over the world, lived in Japan for many years, met my mom, and still to this day talks about the career in the Navy with passion even though some days he absolutely hated it LOL.

 

Honestly I haven't even done any type of serious climbing...I love outdoors & claim to be yet there's so much I haven't tried. Your story is inspiring. Thank you