Insecurity with friendship

[imsoinlovewithher]

I am very insecure with my friendship with one of my friends.

 

I'm insecure because for the past five years I've had a * * * * time with friends. I had very few friends and got bullied quite a bit. The friends I did have I wasn't close to and it became my ultimate dream to have a close friend who loves me for me.

 

I have my close friend now, I met her about a year ago and have been good friends with her for a couple of months. Recently I told her how's she changed my life for the better and how she's the best friend I've had in years. She reciprocated everything I said and I know in my head that she meant it.

 

But, I can't accept what she's said. It's not that I don't believe her, I know she wouldn't say anything she doesn't mean. It just won't sink in. I really want it to sink in cos then I might get over my insecurity.

 

My insecurity with our friendship means i'm constantly analysing how "good" it was the last time I saw her and obsessing over when I'll next see her. I get really down if we don't have plans and I'm always worrying that she'll think I'm clingy. I do my best not to be clingy. I'm also jealous of her best friend who she has known for years. I really don't want to be jealous of her.

 

I can't just relax and enjoy having a close friend because I'm so insecure.

 

As you may have guessed from my name, I think I do have feelings for her, but they have got nothing to do with the insecurity I have with our friendship. They are two completely separate issues. The love issue I can deal with pretty easily.

 

I just really, really, really need to know how I can get over my insecurity!! Has anyone ever felt this with a friend and how do I deal with it?

Please help, anything at all will be a help, I'm going insane.

[kb109]

Well, if you have a crush on her and you think that that isn't a part of this insecurity issue, you are wrong. When you have feelings for someone, it can make you feel insecure because they make you feel good and you don't want to lose them. You don't have to feel insecure, though. I'm sure she meant what she said. And just because she has another best friend, doesn't mean she can't have more than one best friend. I have three best friends that I love equally! And yes, in friendships there is always a little bit of jealousy over who gets to hang out with who and when. But don't take it personally if she makes plans with someone else. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you. If you spend TOO much time together, each of you will find out little things about eachother that will get on your nerves. I discovered this when I went on vacation in June with my best friend. I know how you feel with your insecurities, though. I am also very insecure, but not about my best friend. I'm insecure about my significant other. And just out of curiosity, does your friend also like girls? If she does, maybe you can possibly have a relationship with her somewhere down the road. But for now, try to keep those feelings aside and just be there for her, and if she's a good friend, she will do the same for you. Hope this helps! Have a great day babygirl!