Slice & Dice...

[dviewed]

...that's the phrase that's come to mind a few times recently. It seems to happen when some guy expresses interest in me & I determine I have no interest in them. I say something to totally cut them off & as they wimper away I think, "hmmm...slice & dice..."

Wonder if this is a result of recently being hurt & still not being over my ex? Is this a phase I have to go through while working my way back to feeling normal again?

Example one...a guy I dated over a decade ago called me to just say 'hi.' Our story had ended when I broke it off because he constantly assured me that while he enjoyed being with me, I wasn't someone he would ever marry!!! I finally tired of being told, "You're not good enough for the long term...want to go see a movie?" & told him to bug off. Now, over a decade later over coffee he tells me there's not been anyone else like me & he'd like another chance! Ha! It was so my pleasure to tell him with a sweet smile, "No, no...you were right...we weren't meant for each other." He looked stunned. Then I gave him a big hug & walked away thinking, "Slice & dice".

Example 2...met a guy at the grocery store (yes, it was in the produce section) & we ended up chatting in the check-out line enough to exchange #'s. Talked to him several times on the phone throughout the week & picked up on vibes that he's used to women pursuing him. Agreed to meet him for coffee on Sunday morning. Could tell he thought we were starting something...very smug attitude & all kinds of comments about activities we could plan. As we wrapped up coffee I just took so much enjoyment from saying, again sweetly, "Gosh, this has been great...I have to tell you tho, my ex & I talked last night & we've agreed to give things another try. Thanks so much for coffee & hey, have a nice day." His face went from smug assurance to 'what the hell' confusion in the blink of an eye. As I turned and walked away I thought once again, "Slice & dice, baby...slice & dice."

Not proud of it, but it is how I'm feeling. (By way, both these guys were jerks, so maybe it will only come out when I feel I'm dealing with a self-assured womanizer.)

Now if only I could 'slice & dice' the one guy who's turned my world upside down. He's the only one I don't seem to be able to cut out of my life. And I guess every other man I meet for now is going to pay for it. At least I'm aware of it and will try & keep myself 'off the streets' while I'm feeling this way.

It's kind of like knowing you could turn in to a werewolf anytime. When you aren't one you want to warn people to stay away, but when you are one, you're just out for blood.

(OK, now I've just scared myself.)

[zwarren]

Well if they are jerks you don't need to apologize. But you shouldnt just go around acting like that to every guy you talk to. You shouldn't take your anger and frustration out on others. Especially when they arent the cause of these feelings.

[dviewed]

ZWarren- I so totally agree. I don't like feeling this way (except for that fleeting few seconds when I crush the suckers) & I hope it passes soon.

I'm not normally an angry person...guess I'm just still so torn up over my ex.