What Goes on in the Brain of the 'Hook-up' kind of guy??

[onezerotwo]

I'm a female and I've never been the hook-up kind of type, like to just make out with some random guy I think is hot at a party. I have a lot of guy friends who have made out with 25 girls, just because they're hot, and they can't commit to one girl, and if they do, they cheat...

 

The reason I'm bringing this up is because, I met a guy about a year ago and I like him, and he seems like he's into me, I know he's gonna ask me out tomorrow, but is he for real? Like, guys who hookup...do they really want to commit to one girl?

 

Basically, what I wanna know is...Why do guys hookup? What do they think about? What's their motive?

[Blayzed4Life]

To get some action because their selfish.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

It is very hard to get a hook up type of guy to commit. So never believe one could change another person behaviour unless they willingly change their behaviour themself.

[Jane0815]

Age is a factor. Hook-up guys often don't commit to one woman until they want to have kids. Even then, in extreme cases you should expect there'll be action on the side. (Had to wonder what xSIL was really thinking by marrying X's youngest brother, World Player of All Time. They work in the same hospital now, she can keep an eye on him. In the past, she punished any erring of his with a whopper of her own. Last time I saw them, he looked pretty whipped. So there's =that= option, if you =really= dig the guy...)

 

Nova's advice is great - just keep in mind that some guys =know= it's a challenge and do whatever it takes, for however long, jump through all the hoops, score, then are gone. NOT ALL GUYS!!!!

 

Maybe you should just date Nova! You can't drink with him yet, but he's a guy you can talk with ... and I bet he'd take good care of your body too.

[RufusDawes]

Correct me if I am wrong but I think a hook up kind of guy as you put it is a man who is interested in having a short term affair with a woman. Now, maybe I have not indulged far enough into the realm of complete insanity, but - isn't calling this type of behavior selfish a selfish claim in itself?

 

This - what the man wants: short term sex

 

This - what the woman wants (god himself doesn't know): ??

 

The way I see it is that you can't dismiss a man or a woman for not wanting a long term relationship. Just wanting to have a little bit of fun with a member of the opposite sex is nothing to be ashamed of it is completely normal.

 

Supposing two people get together at a point in time enjoying each others company. That's right - enjoying each others company at that point in time two people are happy enjoying each other. I'm guessing from a woman's perspective (guessing because I am not a woman) that you wouldn't "hook up" with a guy unless you liked him. You spent sometime with him, you liked him, and he didn't want to go further.

 

Surely that is a prerogative of anyone that they may choose the extent to which they wish to continue a relationship. I think this is a choice we're all able to make and do so often - for example after the first date a woman decides not to go on a second.

I think you sound generally concerned and in answer to your question, guys hook up because it is fun. If they do they're not evil nor do they bleed acid. It is a natural thing which women also will do. I once knew a girl who slept with a co – worker (barman) on a night out, thought the whole thing was a joke didn't take it very serious thereafter. The poor guy actually wanted more with her, but - he got over it.

 

As for not being able to meet a decent man at a bar, well some of us are not blessed with such an extensive social network that we can meet a compatible woman just by existing. We have to go searching for her. If that chase leads us to a "sleazy bar" – well then so be it. Often men go out with pure intentions to meet a woman – to do what she wants, hoping she wants to have a relationship. Often they're rejected on the premise that they're obviously just looking for a quick hook up.

 

I really don't think it is fair to judge someone for wanting something a little different from you. You've just got to do what is best for you which more often than not is what YOU WANT to do. If you like the guy, and you want go out with him – go out with him.