confused about possible relationship with roommates ex

[confused79]

It may seem bad but that is definitely not the kind of person I am. As you can see from my other posts, I'm very much still in love with an ex. He says he doesn't want a long-distance relationship but maybe he still has feelings for me. I'd jump at any opportunity for the 2 of us to be together. anyway.... fast forward to my latest situation

 

My roommate went on vacation for a week 2 weeks ago and during this time and a little before her ex and I have been chatting. We finally decided to go out just as friends. During this week we had a lot of fun with and without his friends. We ended up kissing a couple of times and a little more I guess you could say. This has been goin on for 2 weeks now. I'm afraid how shes gonna react to this because she is a little psycho. She would always accuse the 2 of us (her ex and I) of having sex or something when he would work on my computer or just say hi to me from 10 feet away. very jealous i guess. Even when she was looking for a roommate she was trying to find someone he'd find unattractive.

 

I'm confused about a couple of things. I think I like him but maybe its the attention I don't know. I'm 23 he's 31 and he has an 8 yr old son that he sees occasionally. ugg. I told myself that he's too old and I don't want to date someone with kids. My best friend (not the roommate) told me before she went on vacation for a week that she didn't want anything to happen between us and she feels weird about the situation. I'm sure I'll hear from her this week about it but I don't know what to do. My best friend has always been there for me and has always been helpful in my relationships. I value her opinion sooo much and shes usually right about it all. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I enjoy being with him. He's a very affectionate person and definitely a romance type. so this just makes it hard for maybe me to think logically. I don't want to lead him on either just because I want to feel good by making out/kissing/etc.

 

HELP me please.

[Genesis]

Do not go there honey trust me.

 

 

You will ruin your friendship, that is the most important thing.

 

This man has boundary issues and if he would date his ex's friends he will date your friends too( when its over).

 

Things will get so weird at your house with your roommate that even when this Relationship fizzles out, you rommate may still dislike you.

[crookster_man]

What kind of help do you want? I can't really tell you want to do in this situation. But hopefully I can add a little clarity to it. So you have feelings for your roommate's ex. You don't really seem torn about the loyalty; you refer to her as your roommate not your friend. So I'm guessing this isn't a major issue for you, maybe you should talk a better look at this? You said she would take the relationship poorly? Would it be worth the awkwardness and stress at home? Something to think about.

 

Lets look at the situation now shall we? It appears that you are not overly swooned by this guy. You've listed many of his faults and only said that he was romantic. Maybe that says something to you. It sounds like you had fun for a few weeks, living a fantasy. However, the reality of the situation… Age, Children, roommates, and your friends, are leading up to a volatile mix. I really don't think you want to be part of this. I know you don't want to hurt him, but what is better. Staying with him out of pity, making yourself miserable. Or letting him down gracefully, hurting him a little and ending a situation you want no part of? Well I'll let you figure that out for yourself. I didn't just make this stuff up. Read your post again, I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from.

 

Good luck, and remember to be true to yourself. Don't pursue things that will only drag you down. Chains are chains, whether they be made of iron or gold.