Do I meet up with her?

[StephenP59]

Its been 7 months lots of tears lots of learning and realising who I am. I like who I am for the 1st time in a long time. I feel good about myself now heres the question do I meet up with my ex. She wanted to catch up 3 months ago and I politely declined it was too soon. I'm not over her completely I miss her every day. Is it wise to meet up with her initiated by me around her b/day? just before I go on a months trip i've not really spoken to her very much. I'm hoping the reality of the situation and the realisation that I dont want her will happen when I see her of course I do hope to rekindle something a close friendship perhaps. Or maybe this is just a fantasy that I should stop and continue NC. to be honest it feels like shes kid of given up on the idea of friends I'm more optimistic given time it'll be Ok. any Ideas?

[DN]

Don't do it - too hazardous to your peace of mind right now.

[flower99]

I agree, you're feeling good right now....don't risk confusion & turmoil all over again. give it more time.

[flower99]

stay strong stephen.... it sounds like you're doing awesome! Congratulations on your progress

[StephenP59]

Thanks. I know you are all right. Complacency is a dangerous thing. Its weird really I just wanna show her look at what I have achieved I did it all on my own I'm twice the man that you left me 7 months ago. i'll probably never get the chance and anyways its all about me, right?

[flower99]

Yep this is all about you (:

my only concern is that you mentioned "I'm not over her completely I miss her every day"

So can you show her all you've become and maintain your peace of mind?

[StephenP59]

ah good point flower99 I guess not I think I'm still slightly buzzing after seeing her sister and dealing with it much better than I could have imagined but to face her is another matter. i get tired of up and down days so when I feel positive I try and act on it y'know. Do you think 7 months is too long to still be getting over someone?

[flower99]

is 7 months too long..... well that depends on how long you dated? how long did you two date?

[StephenP59]

3 and a half years 1st love etc. My 1st realtionship took me about 1-2 years to get over I was really young didn't deal with it at all. The main difference is this time I've taken the negative and made it positive. Feeling just dont go away and it IS getting easier

[flower99]

Oh yeah 7 months for a 3 year long relationship...you're doing good!!

either way I don't think there is such thing as TOO LONG. I think everyone is different, everyone attaches differently & everyone has different history...take whatever amount of time you need.And as long as progress is being made, it's good (:

That's great that you want to act on your positive days...I totally understand that. So if you believe you can see her & show her how much you've improved without her, go for it.....BUT Maintaining the positivity is the most important things to do for yourself. More important than showing her it. So if there is doubt & the feelings are still there, it may be wise to give it more time and protect yourself right now. Maintain what you have going. timing is everything. Make sure it's the right time, any sooner could cause damage.

[StephenP59]

Thanks again for your support it mean alot to me i'll keep going NC and staying positive miss right is right around the corner!

[flower99]

that's so true....great attitude Stephen (:

wish you the best...