should i not talk to her no more?

[life_of_ai]

we were together for 3.5 years. she left me. that was 3 months ago, im still having a hard time. ive posted previously and im hearing i should just stop talking to her all together. the reality is setting in that this is what i have to do. but there are no other friends i have and ill just be alone, but to fix this, im trying to see her and hurting myself more.

 

we use to hang out all the time, but she got a new b/f, 1 week after she broke up with me. now she hangs out with him, hes in a frat, shes in a sorority now. i read how the ex might call back later and say how much she misses him, i want to get this phone call, but i dont think i will.

 

we had a really good relationship together. im not just saying that either, she said the same thing. but i guess she wanted something else at the moment. she initially told me she wanted the single life, so she gets a new b/f 1 week after leaving me.

 

we want to remain friends, ive only seen her once, i was quiet at first then opened up, and was comfortable around her, but then she had to go cuz of her "new friends" and i just felt bad.

 

i guess it hurts cuz she left me behind. i did everything for her. she loved me alot, but that changed.

[Siriana]

It is ONLY 3 months.

Distance yourself, people are telling you the right thing.

The fact you're witouth people to hang with van be changed. Get out and start doing things you're interested in - you will make some new friends.

[Fisch]

Hey life,

I am so sorry for your heartbreak. If seeing her is painful (as it is for most everybody in this situation) you should do everything that you can to move on. You will be lonely for a while, intimacy withdrawal and losing the person you were focusing on can do that. But make a date that you will decide to at least try and stop wallowing and start to be as outgoing as you were before you got your heart broken. Dont let it hurt your self esteem during your wallowing-lonely time, you are hurt and obviously not going to be the life of a party, allow accept that eventually you will be happy again. Opportunities are open to you and you have time to spend with other people, dont waste it.

[StephenP59]

I agree with the above posts (i'm 7 months down the line) what I would add is don't set a date to stop moping. I found that if I put pressure on myself to heal quickly or move on and I didn't I felt twice as bad cos I thought I was letting myself down - which is rubbish. What I will say is to not let the moping feelings take you over do not dwell on them thats really important. Often bad feelings or emotions spring from the original feelings and its hard to know which its genuine grieving and which is ourselves causing unnecessary pain - i.e theres no need to think about what she's up to etc. So 3 months is nothing really it will take as long as it takes - It just means you loved someone deeply and that is an admirable quality noone can take that from you. Take care

[life_of_ai]

thanks for the responses, hopefully even more will come

[Orlander]

life, you already know what you should. You just hesitate. Moving on means putting the past behind you and that means letting go of her. Sorry you are going through such a tough time. Hopefully, soon you can move on and find someone much better.

 

Three months isnt too much time. I'm at 6 months now since NC. Best thing I could have ever done for myself!!!

 

 

Orlander

[uncomfortably numb]

5 months here and it hurts bad.But Thats MY fault!

I too, should've moved on long ago but held on for the off chance she would change her mind,or see the light.

I KNOW what others say is the truth.I just did'nt want it to be so.

Move on bro,she'll see what she's missed out on.

Now if I can just stick to my OWN advise.