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why has he been so mean to me since the breakup?


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my ex and i broke up a week and a half ago. we got into a big screaming fight and it ended with him saying get the hell out of my life, i never want to talk to you again. so we didnt talk for the first 3 days and then he called and didnt sound mad at all and wanted to know if he could come get his stuff. he came the next day and got his stuff and apologized for the way he acted the night we broke up. he kept asking me what ive been up to and if i met any guys and and saying things like "i wish it didnt have to be like this." etc. so i kind of thought maybe he was thinking about getting back together. well the next day i called him to see if i could come get my stuff and he just acted cold and like he didnt want to talk to me or see me. and now ever since then anytime i call him, which i do ever couple days, he acts cold and is mean to me. he never wants to talk about our relationship or why we broke up. i told him that i still want to be with him but he just gets mad and says hes sick of trying to work it out. he was calling me alot the past couple days, but only to yell at me because one of his friends has been asking to take me out to dinner and i said i might go with him. i just dont understand why he doesnt want to talk to me at all, doesnt want to see me, and when i try to talk to him he barely says anything at all, gets angry, or tries to blame things on me. why does he treat me so badly after we spent a year together, alot of the time which was great and we were both really happy. the only bad thing was that we fought alot for a few months, other than that we had a great time together and even talked about marriage and moving in together. i mean even a few days before we broke up he still wanted to see me all the time and talk to me a few times a day when we couldnt be together. i dont know how he can go from being like that to being totally cold and not wanting anything to do with me except to call me and act jealous that i talk to other guys. does anyone know why he could be acting like this?

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my situation is very similar... we broke up about a week ago because we always were fighting and at the end of a huge argument he told (yelled) that we were over and he needed time...and im just as confused as you are... i just decided to stop calling him today, after talking to him and asking if i can see him and he acted like he didnt care and that when he was ready to see me he would tell me... all these past few days when we talk he calls me baby and says i love you etc... and then sometimes he will be very cold and mean and it kills me... after todays conversation/argument with him i decided to stop talking to him..if he wants to talk to me then he can make the effort... if not ill just have to move on... as hard as it is.. you should not call him or contact him in any way... he will see what he is missing... at least thats what i am hoping for... and if they dont.. i know you and I will find someone better someday..

 

he is acting like this because he knows you will always be there when he feels like talking to you... its a power thing...

 

hope i helped.. wish i could give more insight.. but im just starting down this road too..

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I dont know why he is acting like that but I do know that about now you should stop talking to him. Stop calling him. Dont take his calls. Go out on that date. Have a good time.

 

Let yourself heal.. Its going to be very hard he is such a big part of your life but hon everytime you call him he is only hurting you more. You are worth more and you control the power not him. So dont let him have that power over you to make you feel badly... No contact is needed - thats what I say.

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well i went over to his house tonight to pick up the rest of my stuff. he invited me in and we kind of hung out and talked like friends. i brought up the subject of us, and i got my answer so im just going to have to accept it because hes not changing his mind. he just keeps insisting that he is so sick of the fighting and hes sick of trying to make it work with me. he says that we both need to grow up a little bit and he says he doesnt want a relationship right now. he said he just wants to go out with his friends and have a good time without the drama of having a girlfriend. i asked him to honestly tell me if we were definitely done and he said "i dont know? for right now we are because i dont really want a relationship but maybe we will get back together in a little while. i still have feelings for you, its not like im totally over you." hes talking to another girl right now and he says he kind of likes her but he doesnt want a relationship with anyone right now, but he doesnt know how it will turn out between them. i have a feeling he wont get back with me because hes talking to this girl. it just makes no sense because some of the reasons he also said he wanted to break up with me is because im not 21 yet so i cant go to the bars with him and also because he feels like he cant trust me. but this girl is a year younger than me and alls she does is party and makes out with random guys at the parties she goes to. he knows all of this and hes still thinking about giving her a chance???? i just dont understand it. i guess i should just give him his space and see what happens? ive already tried to change his mind and tried to convince him to be with me and that didnt work...so i guess alls i have left to do is leave him alone, try to move on, and see what happens. i just wish i could stop thinking about the way things used to be.

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