why do cheaters continue to lie after they have left

[jue]

quick recap..me and my ex broke up nearly mths ago he left me for someone else..his first love of 24yrs ago..i know her we all grew up togethr then she moved away after dumping him at the ripe old age of 16..he now lives with her

 

here is my problem..i am leaning more towards now of never wanting him back but i do miss the times we had and im sad for the times we never wil have again.

anyway we have been in contact..spoken and were getting on well.the problem is he continues to lie to me and that hurts..jsut like it would if anyone kept continuing to lie to me..

strange thing is..its lke im pyshic where he is..when he left he told me her name was totalyy different from what it actually is..i sussed that was not her name..and then when it came out her first name..i automatically thought it was who it is..

then he told me..he wasnt going on holiday..which we were supposed to be doing next month..i said he was lying .he kept insisting he wasnt going anywhere...turns out i was right..that hurts..because we were going together next month and now it will be her.

 

then someone told me another jue had been added to messenger..again i said a name to himand he said no it wasnt turned out i was right..nwo i know people will be thinking what difference does it make he as left you..true..but i just dont understand why he is continuing to lie to me..there have been a few other occasions he has denied and i was right

 

now he says he still cares for me .and thinks of me..

i do not believe him at all..but my question is why is he continuing to lie to me..

we have known each other and been in each othersl lives since being 10yrs..

i just dont understand how someone i loved and who i assumed loved me could not only leave me this way..but 4mths down the line continue to lie to me

what is it with the lies..why does he continue to lie..i jsut dont get it..

the lies hurt..

i have accepted its over..so be it..

but imlonely..and the loneliness is a killer..i know xmas is a way off but all i think is i dont want to be on my own.

i hate coming home from work to an empty house.having no one to talk to about ur day.

all my friends are married i have no single friends and they dont go out .

it hurts that i am sat here alone...i cant afford the things i could when we had to incomes coming in.

the pain hurts..the stomach.the crying which i dont do much of these days..but when i do boy i seem to make up for the past wks that i havent cried.

people say i jsut now be over it..life to short to be bitter..he has moved on got a new life he is happy..

well good for him

I CANT WAIT TILL THIS YEAR IS OUT.IT HAS BEEN THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE..

why continue to lie

[theantibarbie23]

To make a long story short - he continues to lie because it's easier for him than to face the truth and all the ugliness that comes with it. Many cheaters would rather live in denial than have to take a good, hard, long, look in the mirror.

 

Do yourself a favor and cut this man from your life. He is NOT your friend, and it's hindering your healing to continue to talk to him.

[HeartAche]

Jue,

 

I feel for you, I really do. It's horrible after you've been with someone for so long to suddenly have to contemplate life without them. Knowing that after a long day at work you've got to come home to an empty house. It's difficult and made even worse by the fact that your ex is out there enjoying themselves with someone else.

 

Unfortunately all you can do is try to start living again but for you this time. Easier said than done I know but you don't want to waste your life thinking about him anymore. I know the lies are annoying, I have similar issues with my ex - she arranged to come round tonight to collect her things and discuss our joint financial issues, but didn't bother turning up and didn't even have the courtesy to let me know - you just have to live with it and use things like this to your advantage. He's a liar, would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't trust? Get angry about the fact that he's lying if it helps, start keeping a journal of how you're feeling and write down everything that's on you mind. I find that getting all your feelings out on paper is quite therapeutic.

[jue]

Do yourself a favor and cut this man from your life. He is NOT your friend, and it's hindering your healing to continue to talk to him

 

the antibarbie....i know your right ..but it just doesnt seem that simple.. there are other issues..ie..financial..so we do have to be in contact..nothing much really its maybe once a wk..thanks for your quick reply..it is appreciated

 

 

heartache....thank you for your reply..i agree , no i wouldnt want to be with a liar..but the strange thing is ..and i know this is silly.i miss him..and i never thought he would do this to me.but he did

 

all i can say is loneliness i hate it...

and the biggest favour he has done me..is that i know the kind of man i dont want again..

some days i feel like i take one step forward and two steps back..i miss male companionship...talking..i dont no if that has come out wrong..lol...

i hate being lonely and feeling like this..this has been an awful year..

 

and yes the fact that imhere alone andhe is happy with her.hurts.hurts like hell