I have another question

[RufusDawes]

Hello again.

I'd like a few questions probably they are best answered by a female.

 

I don't know how many of you are qualified to answer this one but here it is anyway:

 

I know women who go out of there way to make friends with men, I have heard two of them say proudly " most of my friends are guys, they're better friends than girls". I did make friends with both of these girls, at the time i met them they had boyfriends so I didn't mind.

 

My question is - why do girls do this ? More to the point why does a very attractive single girl seek friendship with single men ! Only to become offended when one of them will make an advance. I'd hate to seem Jaded here but that might be simply what I am. I cannot for the life of me understand why on earth a single women would see that constant familiarity with a single male would not be the basis for attraction. I cannot understand why they think that the arrangment is a viable friendship. It doesn't make any sense. How they believe that they will be "just friends" and that is all that the young men should aspire to.

 

This is becoming a serious issue. It is hard not to be rude and keep someone at a distance. I know that there is no way in hell I am going to stand around single while a gorgeous single girl hops around my flat ! Its impossible to refuse what I can only call advances - albeit advances not leading to where i want to go without being outright rude. Which I do not want to be.

 

My second question is: supposing I want to approach a girl. At what point do you draw the line between - I'm chatting up this girl, talking to her so I can ask her out and - what women will term using a friendship, being a sleaze to get more out of her in what some call a sneaky way (I don't agree with this, I think friendship is solid grounds for a relationship; mars vs venus ?).

 

My Third Question, (and I thank you if you are still reading) when and how is it acceptable to ask a girl out ? If I don't want to first pick her up at a pub, how can I honestly go about things ?

 

Finally, how important is money / professional career to women in terms of being attracted to a man when he is in his early - mid 20's.

 

I realise that there is no definitive measure for any of these points, that all people are differet. No guide or single piece of information can tell you how to do well with women. Especially as it cannot know your personal situation.

I thank you in advance for any feedback you may offer.

[ElektraHere]

I can give you my feedback on your first question.

 

I had a friend notice the word "had." She was a very nice gal. She was pretty, funny, smart, etc. The one thing she didn't have were many girlfriends. I asked her "why is it you don't have lots of gal pals?" She told me it ws because she didn't get along with women all that much. She got on better with men. Well the more I got to know her the more I could see why. She had to be the spotlight and did NOT like to share it whatsoever. She flirted with every guy she was friends with some made adances and of course she shot them down. She bathed in the attention. After awhile it got hard to be her friend because it was all about her and her spotlight and not her as a person. In the 3 years I was friends with her I can't tell you anything about her. She never really let anyone in.

 

So I would say it possibly is for that "spotlight" factor and the attention that is lavished on them. Its safe for them because they don't have to open up and really let anyone in. They just like the superficial part of it.

 

Just my two cents.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I prefer men as friends because they are more straightforward and logical to me than women.

 

I always make it absolutely clear who I am and am not going to go "any further" with, and I'm assertive enough never to have had a problem with male friends thinking I fancied them when I didn't.

 

Throughout highschool my 2 best friends were males. We had an absolute scream together....I miss those days, actually.

 

Sigh!

[rose2summer]

I have very few male friends and an abundance of female friends, not sure why. It seems the male friends I have had in the past have attempted to make it more than friends, so any male friends I have I ensure they are too enveloped in their career, etc. to have any interest in me.