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...hey, i met This Guy named Kyle on yahoo messenger 4 years ago. we have communicated on and off since then. we have a very strong connection and feel very strongly for each other blablabla. we no longer talk on the internet (only phonecalls) if that matters... anyway he lives in CO i live in NJ. i hate feeling this way about someone I can never be with. he is religious and believes in god and thinks if we are meant to be together we will be together (or some crap like that). (he doesnt mind the distance, i hate it). also he is celibate (he used to be something of a hedon). not that it matters because we're not in a long distance relationship (we just are a lot alike and talk on the phone for 3 hours every week or so)....anyway i can't keep talking to him because when I do I hate life....

 

but, (im in college) i was thinking on my next break from school I will visit him (rather than staying with my parents... because I hate it in my hometown and know noone here)... what do u think? maybe i'm just dreaming.. what would you do?

 

could this ever work? my friend said (about him) that "talk is cheap" and I am inclined to agree. we can talk on the phone all night and it doesn't mean a whole lot because he lives there and is not going to come here ever so what's the point and what's a conversation really worth...

 

i will not contact him and then he won't contact me and then 6 months will pass and he'll contact me... i wish he never contacted me again. all my feelings for himhave returned (only stronger) and i feel like I'm In Love With You And I Know You're In Love With Me.... what should I do???

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he wants me to visit him. he says his reason for not coming here is $. he says he wants to visit nyc (he has a close friend who lives there), but I live in NJ!!!

 

(he's just trying not to scare me/put pressure on me/overwhelm me) with the knowledge that he would hypothetically be traveling accross the country just to see me. so he makes it about nyc. (which i do also, i tell him to come to nyc for nyc plus me, not nj just for me)... but CO is pretty nice too...

 

he says he can't come here because of money, there were a few times when he said he was going to/planning to but it didnt happen because of $.

 

i could pull some $ together to visit him, but i'm scared... he has a friend in nyc who he would stay with, if i visited him i would be stuck (not to be mean or imply i'm scared of him, but it could go really bad and i'd be screwed in CO for a couple days and not screwed in CO in the good way cause like I said he's celibate lol im just kidding haha). but CO with a freak who I hate would be better than my hometown where I have no friends with my parents anyday, so going on my next break from school seems like fun and I wouldn't have much to lose...

 

we're good friends. we don't really flirt with each other on the phone or talk about how bad we wanna bone or how good we'd be as a couple or corny/uncool things like. its stronger than a flirtation. we're just really good close friends. he wants to be with me/i want to be with him. we don't really talk about the attraction/love/whatever but we both know its there. he definatley feels the same for me. btw we are both freaks and we understand each other and we think a lot alike.

 

we both have issues with getting close to people. so this kind of makes sense we would both let ourselves believe we're really in love with someone accrosss the country who we could never be with....

 

 

but even if i do visit him/he visits me so what... thats just for a couple weeks. my "life" is here, his is there. nobody wants to move anywhere...

 

i am going to law school when I graduate.. I would like to go accross the country or far-away-from here, so hypthetical of all the hypotheticals I would move there, but I don't see this happening... are there any good law schools in CO? lol....

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