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At a tough point in my life


StephenP59
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Hi there I was hoping that some fellow enotaloners might have some advice or encouragement as I'm going thru a rough spot at the moment. Sorry if it goes on a bit but best you get the whole story.

 

When I was younger I was a pretty confident kid knew what I wanted from life - I always wanted to be an artist it was the thing I was really good at I had a plan of college and then university. Well when I was 17 I was diagnosed with depression which was such a hard thing to cope with I bottled things up had horrible thoguths of suicide something a kid should never really have to think about. I had to put my life on hold for about a year while I recovered all the while others were moving on with their lives uni jobs etc I felt behind. Then things fell into place I met my now ex at college she was pretty, intelligent and she liked me which was great. Anyways I went thru uni with my girl back at home it was hard but I was utterly devoted to her she was everything I ever wanted, but because of this my own social development + friendships never really developed...but I had her so I thought it was a small sacrifice. So she starts uni and things dont really work out I put my energy into trying to make it work but it just went wrong. I didn't want to bottle my feelings up again thats what maed things hard last time but I think I was too 'heart on my sleeve'.

 

Anyways to the present the last 12 months have seen me finish my degree start a new course (quite intense) I have had to move back home due to money most of my friends don't not live here anymore so I have had to re-establish friendships. In the time away from my ex have focussed on making myself a 'better' person new hobbies, sports and volunteering, socialising changing my negative outlook to a positive one becoming the person I secretely always wanted to be. I have succeeded in my course by achieving maximum marks whilst going thru a devastating break up. Its now the summer break and I am jobless (I have tried looking agencies etc) back at home with my mom and dad. The thing is they are having some real problems and a seperation is inevitable they hardly ever speak one is sometimes in tears I am around this 24/7 it's horrible. I can't afford to move out and money is becoming a real worry on top of everything else. I cry myself to sleep I have never felt to alone and frustrated, Frustrated that I am trying so hard with getting my life back on track and I just dont feel any happier for it.

 

I'd like to hear from people who have gone thru similar things and if they have any advice . Thanks

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Hi.

I missed a year at my university because I was depressed exactly during the time of the exames. How appropriate! It was my first and very last time of beeing so down that I even couldn't force myself to read a stupid book that was infront of me. It lasted about 4 months. Luckly at the beggining of a new year that motivated me to continue university and as well to get better grades.

As I realised how beeing depressed really sucks I decided to learn what can be done to prevent that or what to do when I am starting to feel depressed. Just to say that I was lucky in a way because it was not that kind of depression that needed medications.

 

So after I realised what situations are the one that cause stress to me I found out how I need to proceed in these situations.

 

For example some of the things that haven't influenced me in a way that they stopped my life:

1. I broke up with my 2 year bf

2. I met a new guy and he used me

3. My dad is sick, he has cancer he was on operation and it hasn't helped, his cancer continues to grow - so we have no idea how long he will live actually.

4. I met my current bf

5. my job contract is ending in november and I have no idea what then (14% unemployment rate in my country and I live alone)

6. I have to study for a particulary difficult exam for my job.

 

 

The most important thing i LEARNED: You need to keep going whatever happens. If you just stop and start thinking about your situation without doing nothing than it will be so difficult to start things again.

Also this is an answer I wrote on another thread that might be helpfull

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same, but didnt really consider it depression but it was. For 3 years up and down, i shouldve taken a year off but didn't, i pushed on and got some help and worked on my inner thought. you just gotta keep pushing forward, what really helped me alot was prayer, if ur not religious then its just up to u. I usually just talked to god about everything and that really helped. Also a journal to vent.

 

here's a website that really helped

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