Update...very upset

[IrishBroad]

Hey everyone.... if you have read my posts before you know whats going on .

 

Well the ex came to get ther rest of his things and yeah he looks very skinny not himself. well when he came to the house he was avoinding looking at me and he had me come out to the car to see his new (and first car) It was nice... he was weird he hugged me and said sorry that things didn't work out and he said thank you for all the confidance that i gave him... asked for another hug and then there i saw it. A F*ING HICKIE WITH TEETH MARKS AROUND IT....

 

i was so shocked i didn't say a damn thing but tears welled up in my eyes and well he was shanking and he was acting werid and i said lets talk and he said there is nothing to talk about and i asked a couple more times and then i said ok and he drove off.... i cried for a long time... how can this guy i thought was the one go be with some randome girl??? amd one who leaves a HICKIE WITH BITE MARKS AROUND IT????? I was never like that with him...

 

 

IDK it just was a slap in the face to me and our relationship.... while i am struggling to forget him and i am missing him he is off with other girls.... i know its over now... for good... i will never speak to him again i am just really hurt.... anyone have anything positive to say because i am sad and my self esteem is in the gutter...

 

i was dressed up and he did say you didn't have to dress up for me and i said i didn't i was like this all day...anyways please everyone i need something some comment to keep me going i feel like any second i am just gonna breakdown and flip.... well thanks everyone....

[RayKay]

Hey hon,

 

I know how much this hurts, but....in the end, this may be a good thing. Sometimes it takes something like this to realize it is really over, and you clearly are not both on the same wavelength.

 

After my last relationship ended, I hung on for a while too, we remained in some contact, and I was hoping, hoping he would change his mind. He showed me for the most part positive intentions, that he missed me, blah blah....and then one day when he dropped off some of my things and was in a rush to leave, I found out he was going on a date...at 11:00 at night mind you which to me means "booty call" not "date". He basically rubbed it in my face. I later found out he had had a few "dates" since we broke up, all the while telling me he was not looking for anyone else.

 

Honestly, it tore my heart out...but that was EXACTLY what I needed to move forward and realize only *I* was responsible for my healing and happiness.

 

Take care,

 

RayKay

[savannahohsavannah]

Can you for one minute, suspend all your pain at the breakup, and then look at this situation with foreign eyes, and see the HUMOR in a guy showing up to pick up things from an old gf's house with a huge hickey? Impossibly funny! I'd say he did it deliberately to get your goat, don't let him!

A good tease would have been my response.

[IrishBroad]

Yeah..... ummm that wasn't funny to me at all.... it really hurt and i am upset about it i don't find anything funny in this even if it wasn't me it was happening to....

[poetsheart]

Poor sweetheart, of course you would have been hurt... that would have really shocked you!!! What you have to do now is know that he never appreciated you or really cared to turn up with that on his neck... better you know now that you are miles above him in class...

[kadvati79]

Poor sweetheart, of course you would have been hurt... that would have really shocked you!!! What you have to do now is know that he never appreciated you or really cared to turn up with that on his neck... better you know now that you are miles above him in class...

Well he cared enough to lie.

 

I'm actually not joking with that statement. Lets be honest here, what would hurt more, telling the TRUTH for a breakup? Or telling enough to get out?

 

I broke up with a lovely guy cause he just wasn't attractive to me any more, and I wanted to have sex with other people. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. Would telling that to the face of a guy who truly loved me help him? One of the steps in the AA/SLAA twelve step programmes is to "make a list of all persons we had harmed [and]... made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

 

I'm not defending the jerks out there. But I'm trying to point out we are, for the most part, all jerks at some stage or another. "Its called a breakup cause its broken". That sums it up really. It doesn't matter whether they left because they want to f*** around, or because they have met the love of their life, or because they want to go to Africa to help starving children... the fact is they no longer want to be with you.

 

I try to get angry at the sh*tty things my ex did. But then I realise whats the point? Angry has not really helped me get over it, but being realistic does. People will say what they think you want to hear because they think it will minimise the pain, and their exposure to it.

 

Remember, nobody. And I mean nobody. Gets over someone they were emotionally close to quickly. But what they do is try to get over them as fast as possible. So they sleep around/date/party, whatever in particular fits with their morals and their social situation. This is not a reflection on how much they cared about you, that will be reflected by how much they rub your face in it.

 

I think your ex was insensitive and stupid in turning up to your place with a hicky. But then, I can think of millions of times I've been insensitive and stupid - and LOTS of those times I did it without realising it.