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Don't know what to do with myself..


backformore
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I am new to this forum, but a friend of mine told me about it. Me and my BF broke up and he moved out 2 weeks ago. We been together for 8 months (lived together ). I miss him terribly and I just want to hug him. He texted me this week and said that he loves me, he misses me, that he constantly worries about me and thinks about me, but has yet to call me. I said some really hateful (texted it) and I really don't know if I love him that much, or that I am sooooooo lonley, and it's hard to be alone. I don't drive, and I SIT ALONE all the time with nothing to do. I just am going crazy, I miss having him around, and I am so confused about how I feel. I really think it's over for good, I just am going crazy when I am here alone. I can't eat right, I have to take sleeping pills to sleep, I just feel as though I am GOING NUTS. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Hi backformore,

 

I think that you have taken some good steps.

 

1. Questioning your love for him and the relationship.

2. Questioning your feelings now that he is gone.

3. Joining this site. There are plenty of people that want to help and give great advice.

 

Be careful with the meds. They are needed sometimes, but don't become too dependent on them to sleep or make you feel better. I have made this mistake.

 

I think that commitment works both ways, in a relationship, and in a breakup. Commitment is different in the two situations, but the rules should apply. He moved out, for what ever the reason, so he should leave you alone. He should not tell you anything. He is not abiding by his actions and by him telling you that he loves, misses, etc. is doing nothing to help you, it is hurting you.

 

I don't think that you should tell him anything either. When you texted him the message and the "nastiness" did that make you feel better or worse? I've done the same thing and it has never made me feel better about the situation.

 

Maybe you could learn to drive. That would be a great thing for you to do for yourself if you can. I'm not sure about the details of this situation, however if you can go out and get your license it would be great!

 

Hang in there. Realize that life is yours and you are the one who counts.

 

Thanks

bcuzitwasfun

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The best way to know if it's wether you love him or wether your just loney, is to get out there and meet new people and hang out with old friends you haven't seen in a while.

If you either join some clubs, or start an educational course - not only will it take your mind off the pain, it'll also get you out there meeting other people and hopefully at least to some extent fill that lonely void in your life.

 

Once you've got a reason to say "I'm not alone" then you should ask yourself "But am I still feeling lonely?"...

Hopefully then the answers will come to you.

 

But I assure you if you stay alone he will be ALL you will think about, even if you *dont* love him completely, so be fair on yourself

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The thing is this--H elied to me about talking to his child's mother all the time and helping her move, and I found out about it, also he told his entire family MY business and now it is all over the small town we live in. I am very upset about this, and i don't know that I would ever trust him again, I really don't think I could. he said he was moving back in last week, and then said no, had my son all upset, and just walked out. That is why I can't understand why he send me all those texts about missing me, loving me, etc...He has my HEAD ALL MESSED UP, or maybe I have my own head messed up. I have had like 5 guys ask me out in the last 2 weeks from work, but i just can't go...It's like I feel like I'd be betraying my ex for some reason, adn I really don't want to have sex with anyone else right now--JUST HIM. What is wrong with me?

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The thing is this--H elied to me about talking to his child's mother all the time and helping her move, and I found out about it,

 

Why do you think he lied to you about that? It seems like talking to his child's mother should not be something he feels the need to hide from you. After all, he does have to parent their child with her so he's going to have to talk to her quite a bit. It is quite troubling that he lied to you about it. Were they talking about anything besides parenting their child?

 

It's like I feel like I'd be betraying my ex for some reason, adn I really don't want to have sex with anyone else right now--JUST HIM. What is wrong with me?

 

Nothing is wrong with you. What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. Just because the breakup happened doesn't mean your emotional bond is immediately going to cut off and you're going to feel normal and okay with being intimate with other guys. That will take time. You feel like you're betraying your ex by doing so because you've not fully severed emotional ties with him yet. The feelings you have from him are separate from the reality of the situation.

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