Is No Contact Necessary for me?

[bella321]

My boyfriend of 3 years and I have decided to end things because we see our respective futures holding different things for each us. Me: I want marriage and children. Him: He does not want children ever and probably not marriage. This decision has prompted me to get a new job and move to another city closer to my friends which will hopefully be after we both move out of our apartment. Since I will be in another city and not able to show up at his house, etc. and there are no hard feelings between us, is the No Contact rule necessary for me?

[lostNspace]

I don't think NC is necessary at all. It sounds like it was an amicable and mutual split. If you guys can remain friends and you have an interest in doing so, go for it.

[bella321]

Even if I will be secretly fantasizing that he changes his mind when he realizes how much he misses me and follows me to the new city and proposes?

[kadvati79]

Even if I will be secretly fantasizing that he changes his mind when he realizes how much he misses me and follows me to the new city and proposes?

I think you know the answer to that question already. You can't be a good friend in that situation. You care to much, and you have an agenda. Who knows, that might happen. It might not. If you stay in contact you will continue to hope and open yourself to the possibility of hurting alot, at the same time as closing yourself to potential new partners.

[Aragorn]

My boyfriend of 3 years and I have decided to end things because we see our respective futures holding different things for each us. Me: I want marriage and children. Him: He does not want children ever and probably not marriage. This decision has prompted me to get a new job and move to another city closer to my friends which will hopefully be after we both move out of our apartment. Since I will be in another city and not able to show up at his house, etc. and there are no hard feelings between us, is the No Contact rule necessary for me?

 

Haha, sooo tipical... what a gal wants and what a guy wants.

 

My $.02 is how indeed broken up are you, and how broken up is he? Do you (or him) have any malice?

 

When my first broke up with me I was detroyed, and it was sooo painful... but indeed FOR ME no contact was the best thing. I mean I got a few emails back and forth for the first 2 weeks or whatever, but after that it stopped.

 

For me it is tuff to believe in friends after a relationship, I always just felt tooo out of place OR just completely hurt (I have only had 2 1/2, yes 1/2 I am in one right now and it is pending... : ( )

 

I would say friends sounds ok, in a while though. 3 years IS a long time to be with someone, it isn't a drop in the bucket.

 

Just my opinion.

 

 

Take care,

 

 

Matt