Interfere or Stay Out?

[sumguy]

I think I actually have a problem worth worrying about this time! =P

 

Kay, Got this friend, let's call him (A), and I've got this other friend, let's call her (B), and then there's ©. I've known both (A) and (B) since high school, and © for a bit over a year, and here's the thing:

 

In my opinion, (B) has problems. I'm no professional, but it seems from the way she acts that she suffers from low self-esteem, but not low self-confidence. (A) has been crazy about her since, well, as long as I can remember.

 

Recently (A) made his feelings clear to (B), who is far too polite a soul to respond either negatively or positively at the risk of hurting feelings, and left him ambiguos(sp) on the whole thing. At the same time © said the same thing.

 

A month passed, © lost interest and got a girlfriend, and I know this was a hit to her, now a few nights ago (A) and another girl got really close at a club, and (B) saw them together.

 

And since then (B)'s been bending all her will on (A), and I don't think it's because she's suddenly seen the light and wants him, I think it's to re-establish her self-esteem. (A)'s fallen for her, hard, and now I have a problem:

 

Interfere: Spilling (A) my theories and trying to make him more cautious, or at least giving him a warning.

 

Stay Out: Let (B) follow through with it, she'll probably lose interest a few weeks after she gets (A), and things will fall through, crushing (A).

 

After trying to tentavily broach the subject with (A) today he responded just how I thought he would, he's far too love-struck to see any fault or flaw with (B), pushing might piss him right off.

 

My gut tells me to stay out of it and let (A) learn from experience, but my instincts are to protect my friends... What do you guys think?

[Meow18]

Of course you want to protect your friends from being hurt. Everyone does.

 

But the sad part is that sometimes, when it comes to love and crushes, people need to learn the hard way.

 

You have already told (A) about your concerns, and he's too blinded to really consider what you are saying.

 

As a friend, all you can do is be there for your friends. You can express your concern, but if they aren't going to accept it, then there's nothing you can do. You can see what's going on better than they can because you are looking at it from the outside. (A) just isn't willing to do that at this point and chances are that he's going to be hurt.

 

So just support him right now. You don't have to like the situation, but you need to respect that this is his decision. And just be there for him if he ever does get hurt. And also, never say "I told you so".

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

It would help if you would clarify the highlighted parts, as I don't know what they mean.

 

But I've got a good enough grasp on the situation that in my opinion, you should tell (A), that while it's possible that (B), has seen the light and had a change of heart, and you hope that it's true, that you also think that (A) should be open to the possibility that (B) has not had a change of heart, but is simply responding to the possibility of losing (A) as a crutch.

[sumguy]

I have a tendency to dramatise thing when I type =P, "bending her will on him" means she suddenly went from indifference to hot attraction in the space of days, and is doing everything short of saying it to make that clear to everyone. I'd use the term Feminine Wiles, but I've been slapped for using that term in the past =/

 

At the same time as (A) told (B) how he felt, © decided to tell (B). I mean, the same time, there was almost a fistfight...

 

And thanks for the advice, guys... erm, girls! =D

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

And thanks for the advice, guys... erm, girls! =D

 

Ehem......And Teddies.....(?)....

 

So what's up with ©? Short attentions span?

[sumguy]

(B) is rather... striking... I think he misinterperated lust for something more than it was. I really only included him the story because the two of them withdrawing so close to each other are what gave me cause to suspect a self esteem/worth problem being the motivator behind her sudden attraction to (A). =)

[DN]

Interfere or Stay Out?

Stay out. No one will thank you for interfering and you could make matters worse.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Well, (B) is probably just threatened and maybe jealous by (A) starting to see (D) (the other girl). But my guess is (A) won't see it.

 

(A) needs to figure it out at some point though. Or a series of (D)s will dump him, understandably not wishing to play second fiddle to some other chicka (such as (B))....

[Ians Mommy]

Stay out of it or you'll just get yourself burnt in the end.