when they leave you for another

[jue]

i was left for another..and i just dont understand why..or how..

why does someone you love and u assume loves you..start an affair with another

how..how do they just wipe you out like younever existed](*,)

[lalii]

I know how you feel i went though that as well, and ive realised that if they said that they love you and go behind your back means they never did, cause if they did they wouldnt do that even if they were drunk.. its hard i know but you just got to find a way to move on...

[blackend heart]

(__X) I went throughthe same thing just a few weeks ago, although it is good I was out of the relationship I felt like I couldn't go on without him. Why they leave for another woman/man is because they want something you cannot give, and also, it may be becuse they feel you deserve better, of that they deserve better, people like this don't deserve anybody, unfortunately people like this end up getting what they want, as they make sure the person they want takes them before dumping.

 

Ways to move on:

Go to your old friends and friends, take yourself shopping:

Write down a list of things you've wanted to do for a while and do them, you never know you might meet someone new:

Join some clubs, and do things you didn't expect to do.

Do things you've always wanted to do:

Be yourself and have a laugh.

 

I know it's hard, it was hard for me, but soon it'll be ok

[Bethany]

I think sometimes we can want to feel those things, the same things that the other person feels and try very hard to do so. But in the end we discover that no matter how hard we try, we were only fooling them and ourselves.

[Riggz41510]

Most people feel that if someone cheats on them it's because they don't "love them". Well personally I don't agree with that.

 

Now I will say this it is very selfish, but I don't necessarily think its because they no longer love you..

 

What if you are with a person whom you love dearly.. You love every aspect of them except for the fact that they are horrible in bed. So you decide to sleep with another guy/gal, does that mean you don't love them or does that simply mean they just were not meeting that part of your needs?

 

That's why so many men creep around with escorts etc.. Its not that they don't love you, they're just yearning for something that you can't give them..

 

Before I get flamed.. I'm simply typing this just for some "food for thought" now you do the dishes

[jue]

lol thanks for ur reply..it wasnt cos i was crap in bed lol.. i dont no if he wanted to see what could have been all those years ago.i just know i feel awful.and used..he just walked and then he told me in a text there was someone else.and it was only 5 wk ago i found out i knew her from years back..he just turned his back and left.even after i saw him the first time after he left.i cried ..he saw me heartbroken and was able to just walk away...and yeah i wonder what i did wrong..what was so wrong with me..and my answer to myself is ..simply..i wasnt her

[Riggz41510]

Did you see that post about "Limerance"??

 

You remember how it felt when you guys first met.. All the butterflies, all the laughs, jokes, smiles etc.. People sometimes yearn for that feeling and will throw away a good relationship for that feeling.. Now the problem with that, is it doesn't last..

 

 

When you are creeping around on someone(which I suspect he was doing) the new person always seems like the better catch just because you don't have any reason to argue with that person, and you're not dealing with the regular day to day stresses of a relationship.. So a person will get caught up in the whole situation thinking its going to be so much different.. Sooner than later reality kicks in and what they thought was this great person is normally a dud!!

[jue]

thanks to u all for ur replies they are appreciated.

i think part of the attraction was as you say the sneaking around..and also his own what ifs.. i knew deep down he was seeing someone but i would never have thought it was her..

no , i didnt no. i suspected he was.but he denied it made out it was all me,i agree with waht you say though he is all caught up in the moment but also part of me believes he does love her.and now i think part of him always did.

[Caterina]

Thing is that you shouldn't blame yourself for what he did. Anything you feel...whether it be fits of love, fits of hate....are normal. You must understand that it will be painful for a while but you WILL get through this. Have hope...hope has a way of healing. Hope for the beautiful things in life and one day they come to you.

[Pippa]

Thecheddaboy is right!

 

The new person always seems like the better catch just because you don't have any reason to argue with that person, and you're not dealing with the regular day to day stresses of a relationship.. So a person will get caught up in the whole situation thinking its going to be so much different.. Sooner than later reality kicks in and what they thought was this great person is normally a dud!!

This sounds like my ex I was dating. When I first met her on a dating site, she told me she had just come out of a relationship. I was taken aback at first of all. I sort of thought, woa there girl. I m going to be the rebound guy!!

 

Fast forward 7 months when I fist met her, she dumps me to look for another relationship. I was like you. I was lost too. No closure, and was given no particular reason why she left.

 

What I found out that the time I was with her was that she was married for 10 years (a disappointing marriage where her ex husband didnt treat her right) dated 6 guys! I found out I was number 3!!

 

Why they leave?

 

Why they leave for another woman/man is because they want something you cannot give,

But there could be a thousand other things.It could be the way you walk, the way you talk, a thousand thinsg. The main thing is he left. It was something he didnt like, or something that wasn`t fulfilling him. Some people just date around to find out what they are looking for without the slightest though of what sadness, and hurt they leave behind.

 

Like what Thecheddaboy meant. What goes around come around. Maybe your ex will get dumped, or he will find that who he has left for maybe isn`t the one he`s looking for. After all the excitment, and butterflies has died down. In the end we are all human, and we all make mistakes. Its a shame my ex can`t see that. Shes in love with the idea of being in love, and this is her 6 boyfriend in around 18 or so months. People like this, who date around probably die alone with their 20 cats!