Problem: I told my bf about the kiss.

[Cinnamon]

For those of you who have been following my posts, I told my bf that his friend kissed me. I told him this last night, and he seemed okay with it at first. I told him that I was sorry, and that I felt really bad. I also told him that it meant nothing, and I backed away and said "No, I like my bf too much to do this to him!" when his friend kissed me. I asked him if he was mad, and also let him know that it was alright if he was mad, and that I would understand because if I were in his place I'd probably be mad too, but I would end up getting over it. He seemed fine with it until he left with one of his friends to go to the store. When they came back, he didn't even look at me! He jumped back in the truck with his friends and his friend's girlfriend and they took off. He never said goodbye or anything. I'm sure his friend said something like, "Forget about her! You shouldn't have to deal with stuff like that!" Now, I haven't spoken to him since last night. He hasn't called me once today and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to lose him, and the thing is... I think that he should be happy that I told him. If a girl told you something like that, doesn't it prove how much she likes you? Not to keep it from you, and to try to have an honest relationship. I never realized how much I really liked him until after the kiss, it made me realize how much I didn't want to lose him. I just don't know what to do now... I'd really like to hear some opinions or advice on this situation. Thanks!

[lipstick]

Next time you see ur bf....

show him a middle finder for being such an """ """"""

 

The truth is that he has a bad campony around him.......

A true friend wouln't hit on best friends girlfriend and of couse wouldn't tell him anything back about her.........

There is nothing much than u can do........

if ur bf knows his friends longer than he does you, he probably trust them more than you..........

As a matter of fact if he's been around that kind of campony for a long time, probably he is one of them.......(rude and cruel) and doen't worth ur attention.........

Anyway give him one more chanse by asking him....what is going on........

and do NOT apoligize, its fair enough that u told him everything and its not ur falt .............................................

good luck

[codyluver05]

I'm glad that you told him.

 

But I am sorry to hear that he ignored you later that evening.

 

First case scenario is it just hit him that you cheated on him when he left and he needed some time to think through.

 

Second case scenario his friend did tell him somethin like "Don't take her back." Whatever it may be.

 

If he did listen to his friend then he doesn't care to much for you. If he is going to be easily influenced by his peers then you don't need him.

 

But if it is first case scenario then just give him his space, you did cheat on him. He does need to take the fact that you were honest with him into consideration though. Being honest about ones unfaithfulness isn't easy to do. Right?

 

Wait to see if he calls you and if he doesn't call within a couple of days then go ahead and give him a call. Ask him what's going on?

 

That's all I got. I hope I helped. Good Luck sweeite!

[secret_agent_man]

Well, I also congratulate you for being honest. Not many people can do that these days.

 

Honesty is one of the purest forms of respect, and I commend you for it. I hope others can get inspiration from this as well. If he really sees what you've done for him by being honest, he'll love you for it. There can be no trust without honesty, so you've made a big step foreward! Never hold things like this in, especially if you feel like it's not your fault, as in this case. Trust me, it's better in the long run!

 

My point is, if he doesn't look past the physical aspect and see the honesty you've shown, then you're probably on a higher level than he is, and you may want to consider looking for someone that appreciates the goodness of a true person.

 

Physical things can be forgiven, but it's hard when you realize the person you trusted held back a big secret, like cheating, for example (not that I'm glorifying cheating, it's just to make a point). If he can't get over it, maybe you should re-evaluate your relation to him.

 

Good luck, don't get burnt by this...

S.A.M.

[WorkingThruIt]

One thing I wanted to say about this is the word "cheated" being tossed around in the posts. Now, from my understanding, you were out, admittedly had too much to drink, and this "friend?" of your bf's came up and kissed you? and you immediately pulled away and said that you could not do that to your bf right? if this is the case, exactly where did you "cheat" on your bf? You did say that you would be upset if the roles were reversed, but honestly, if some girl came up and kissed your bf, and he pulled away, same as you, could you really be that upset with him? Its nto your fault this guy kissed you. The only reason he did kiss you is because you did not see it coming and/or did not have quick enough reflexes to avoid it. My only sugestion would have been to slap the taste out of his mouth for kissing you, and embarrassing the heck otu of him infront of everyone, and then telling your bf perhaps a little sooner.

 

I think that he will come around after some cooling off, even if his friends are in his ear telling him differently, his true feelings will triumph in the end. You know that song "When a Man loves a Woman and the line about how the man would "turn his back on his best friend if her put her down" well that is the truth. if he loves you, he will be back. And I am sorry to say that if he does not come back, then I think you are better off without him. Hope things work out for you.

[jordan1176]

Sorry to be negative but I don't agree with the other responses, nor do I agree with you telling him.

 

All you've done is relieved your own guilt while guising it (and apparently fooling others) with the noble quality of honesty. I think it was selfish that you told him. Not admirable. You should never have been in a situation where his friend could kiss you. Guys don't just walk around kissing girls. There is always a moment before a kiss. You put yourself in the situation (so yes, cheated is the right word), and then because of the guilt you felt you got it off your conscience by telling him. He has every right to be mad at you and his friend, and his reaction is totally acceptable.

 

I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but I feel very strongly about this b/c I was that friend once. And I kissed a buddy's girlfriend. And although I fooled myself into thinking that I was honest, I told my friend and relieved my own guilt. Then I left them to pick up the pieces. Yes, honesty is a very admirable, valuable quality. But if you know you love him deep down, then perhaps honesty did not protect the feelings of the person you love, but rather protected yourself.

[secret_agent_man]

Hi Jordan,

I definitely understand where you are coming from, but I see it from the point of a relationship...

 

Although it makes things hard, and can couse great anger (which is expected), it is still wrong to keep secrets like this from your partner in my eyes. It doesn't matter why she told him, if it was for her own guilt or for his sake, the fact that she told him should make him feel as though she cared enough to tell him.

 

As I said, though... it creates a lot of tension, and that is understandable. I wasn't saying that he shouldn't be mad, just that he should be able to look past it eventually if he really loves her...

 

S.A.M.

[alostsoul77]

Having been in your boy friends position I understand where he is coming from. If things had been going well between the 2 of you then cheating on him has got to come as a shock. If things had been going badly, then it may be the realisation that he is losing you. You telling him DOES NOT all of a sudden excuse what you did. He is allowed to feel hurt especially since he had been betrayed by you and a friend. So lose your selfishness attitude and realise that YOU messed up and YOU need to take the intiative in fixing things.