Moving On- Date or Not to Date

[NCTuskie]

A lot of the information I've been reading, in regards to moving on and healing after a break, mentions getting back into the dating game as soon as possible as part of the process.

 

How important is dating?

 

Now that I'm free... I've been moving on with "The Plan", the one that I made before I met my current ex. If I act on those, I intend on taking myself out of the dating game for a while (2 to 3 years). There are goals that I want to achieve in the military and personally, that I couldn't when I was with someone. Now that I'm single, I'm tracking again.

 

When I do decide that I have time for dating again... will I still be dealing with the emotitional baggage and scars left over from my last relationship? Will I have to put in time on the dating scene to heal in my romantic life again?

[RayKay]

I think that you start dating again when....you feel ready to start dating again.

 

Saves both you, and other potential partners a lot of heartbreak if you only start when you really feel ready.

 

That's my personal opinion anyway. After a breakup, I took the time to heal, enjoy my own personal life and interests, and when I felt ready to date again, I knew it. No rush in my mind, as otherwise I would really not enjoy it, and probably not really be ready emotionally either.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

If you consider dating 'putting in time', and you've got plenty of other things going on, then I don't think it's a necessity. But generally speaking, I think it's a good Idea to get out there and meet other people so that you realize that the one you cared for is not the only person on the planet that you could ever be interested in. Just don't do the rebound thing that so many people do, and lead a woman to believe you just love her and neeed her, when in reality you're just using her to get over your ex.

[Orlander]

will I still be dealing with the emotitional baggage and scars left over from my last relationship? Will I have to put in time on the dating scene to heal in my romantic life again?

 

No and No, to answer your questions. Life is funny and your plans often don't work out the way you want them to. Did you plan to be separated from your ex right now? Did I plan that also? Nope! It just happened that way.

 

You can plan to take time to heal and to focus on yourself, but you never know what life has in store for you. Your new love could plop right into your life at any instant and seriously cause you to go reeling.

 

From experience I have found that I am sad when I need to be sad, alone when i need to be alone, confident when its time for me to be confident and dating when I am ready to be dating.

 

Just have fun and focus on yourself and be prepared duck and cover when you see cupid.

 

 

Orlander

[evyrew]

I plan on staying away from dating for awhile... At least a couple of months, maybe longer. I've bought several books dealing with self improvement. I've told myself that I won't even consider asking a girl out until i finish all of them. I've established new friendships, but dating will be a long ways from now.

 

Just have fun and focus on yourself and be prepared duck and cover when you see cupid.

Cupid has been shooting me full of holes lately. I guess I'm not ducking low enough

[BeatleJon]

I talked to my Psychologist about this. She said to concentrate on yourself before dating. She said to me "you have a crater in your heart and filling that crater with another girl would be pointless". You have to improve yourself before seeing anyone else. She actually said to me that it would be better to go out and do things with the same sex people.....not being gay or anything.

Jon N.