Hooked up with my ex of 3 break ups:(

[rachaelg]

Hi guys...

 

for the past 1.5 years I was with my bf who I loved. However, he kept breaking up with me (2 times we got back together saying he was sorry and regreted it) However, this last time we have been apart for 3 months. I have been doing NC strictly.he kept emailing me and trying to talk to me...I have had no intention of seeing him. However I ran into him the other day, and we ended up talking, and one thing led to another, and before I knew it we had spent 7 hours together and had said that we are still in love with each other, and we had sex.

 

I feel so horrible. I know that he has no intention this time of getting back with me, but not only that. I should have had more respect for myself. It is just so hard, because I still love him, and he still loves me. However, I know the relationship would never work unless he was willing to change, but he wont.

 

We both have just gotten home from travelling and are trying to readjust to real life, and I suppose that has something to do with it....because our real lives at home used to include each other.

 

We both said that it just felt so RIGHT to be with each other....but I dont want to get hurt again. I am torn because I know in my head that I was stupid and that I should do NC again, since I will get hurt. But my heart just wants to see him all the time and kiss him and stuff. I didn;t expect to feel like this, but I haven;t stopped thinking about him since we hooked up.However, I know that the likelyhood of him wanting to try again for the 4th time is VERY slim..

 

any advice? thanks guys

[anonymo]

Here's some advice from yourself: "I know the relationship would never work unless he was willing to change, but he wont." I agree with you, you can't change him. Your heart will keep tearing you away from this advice, but you've got to stop picking at the wound if you want it to heal.

-Good luck