I worry too much!

[randiandriien]

I worry WAY too much about my fiance! If he doesn't call when he's supposed to or when he normally does, then I hit panic mode major! I get so worried about him ALLLLLLLLL the time! I know it drives him crazy sometimes, but I just can't help it. I'm so afraid that something is wrong when I don't hear from him.

I've been calling him ALL night and early this morning, but nothing...I'm SO EXTREMELY worried! He isn't here right now or anywhere that I could actually drive to at the moment, so how can I ease the worrying?

[annie24]

um.... stop!

 

My mom calls me all the time, especially when I don't return one of her calls right away, and it is BEYOND ANNOYING!!!

 

I'm sure your fiance doesn't like it either, feeling like he's being hounded.

 

Why don't you just let him call you?

 

Chances are he is fine, maybe he is just busy or his phone battery died and can't recharge it.

 

I think for your sake and for the relationships' sake, you should try to stop doing this to him, as it's driving him crazy, and you don't want him to be your "ex-fiance" one day, do you?

[rms8]

Is it all a mental thing or does your entire body react to your worrying? Do you worry about other things in your life this much?

 

Here's a link about Generalized Anxiety Disorder. See if it applies to you just to be safe. And if it doesn't then just try to calm down and apply youeself to other things when you start to get worried. You'd be amazed how much time can go by when your distracted.

 

link removed

[annie24]

Yeah, I've been diagnosed with GAD myself. I just try to keep things in perspective and try to look at things rationally. It works for some stuff, not for others....

[chigal28]

Hi....I know exactly what you mean!! I used to worry ALLLLL the time about my boyfriend--if he said he'd call later and didn't, or called later than *I* thought he should, or if I didn't hear from him one night before I went to sleep.

 

I used to worry and worry and worry, until I heard from him and then things were fine. But I've been working on this aspect of myself a LOT lately, and what I've tried to tell myself is that time spent worrying is essentially time wasted. Because if everything is fine after he calls, then things were fine before he called, too--know what I mean?

 

In his mind, he's probably just doing things, or doesn't have his phone, or is preoccupied with other things, whatever, and he figures he'll call you as soon as he gets the chance. Meanwhile, you don't know what's going on, or what's going through his head, so instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming that he'll call you eventually, you come up with scenarios as to why he hasn't called, or--and I do this too--think, well *I* would have called by now, so because he hasn't it means he doesn't care as much.

 

But you know what....I've realized that he and I are two different people, just as you and your fiance are. If you feel like he's unreliable, and that's why you worry, then I would talk to him about that. But if you think you are worrying too much--which it sounds like you do--then the issue is with you, and the good news is that means it's something you can work on, on your own!

 

What has worked for me (and might work for you) is just thinking, you know what, is worrying the best way I could be spending my time? Then I force myself to focus on something else. If I'm at work, this is easy...if I'm not, I call a friend or family member, read a book, play some music on the piano or guitar, find something to occupy my mind. That way, you're focusing on your own life, and you'll realize that you have a lot more going on than just waiting for his call. And once you get in this habit, you'll realize how much more pleasant it is than worrying.

 

I'm not saying I've got this down pat...I still worry sometimes, believe me! But I find that I worry less frequently, and when I catch myself worrying, I know that I can at least try to distract myself and do something productive.

 

I hope this helps a bit.....the key is to try to distract yourself with something you really enjoy and can become absorbed in. If you don't have anything like that, maybe you could pick up a new hobby or skill?

[randiandriien]

Thanks chigal. I do try to think of other things when I don't hear from him. I finally heard from him at 6:30 this morning and I was half asleep when he called! AHHH lol I don't constantly pester him about it though. I don't annoy him with it all the time and tell him to call me 15 times a day. We talk EVERY night before bed. Usually he'll tell me if he's not going to be able to call for a day or 2, but when he doesn't tell me I get so worried! He has SOOOOOOO many medical problems that I'm always afraid something happened. I just love him so much.

 

My body does react sometimes though. I can barely move. I don't worry about everything like this though, not at all. Last night when I was trying to sleep I kept waking up like every 15 minutes and I'd call again to get straight to voicemail. If I don't hear from him, I have nightmares.

 

I know it sounds crazy and maybe obsessive, but I can't help it. I don't want to be that way.