don't know if it's worth the risk...

[Daligal83]

I've recently realized that I have feelings for a good friend of mine. I know he liked me when we first became friends three or four years ago, but I wasn't interested then. I have no idea if he is still interested. We are from the same city and went to undergrad together, but he's still there for school and I've moved to another city for graduate school. Now that we're both home for the summer we hangout all the time and it's great. We end up doing default couple things together since so many of our friends are couples and it just works out that way. We'll share food at restaurants, go in on presents for people together, we're sitting together at the head table for our friend's wedding, etc.

 

There are two problems. One is the distance. I don't have a car so getting to him would be hard and he's in a tough program now and works so him getting to me would be just as difficult. The second problem is that I have a pattern of losing interest very quickly and I couldn't do that to him. I'm more afraid of hurting him than I am of myself getting hurt. I really do like him though...I find myself missing him when we aren't hanging out. Is it worth saying something?

[robowarrior]

Its worth to stay out of this, and find a guy you like within your circle of range, clearly its a red flag that if both of you have to go thru unlimited struggle to get to eachother, it would only be self-torture for both of you , which can't be the intention because you two would never be able to enjoy life or being together. I can already hear both of you complaining , and you already being faint of heart in losing interest it for me personally says that you need to. A. devellop loyalty B. a guy in the area.

 

I mean a guy isn't a tissue you throw in a garbage can, its a soul with feelings. If you start something but then dump him, you might break his heart. Simularwhise it could happen to you because of the distance. All with all there's so many more negatives then positives which outbalance the whole picture into a negative scale, i advice you to stay out for your and his sake.

[Daligal83]

I understand what you're saying about how I shouldn't knowingly hurt my friend...but I think I gave you the wrong impression of me. I do have loyalty (I got out of a two year relationship in the fall and believe me, I had to have loyalty to stay in that one for so long) and I don't just toss guys away like a tissue in a garbage can. I think it's worse to lead a guy on after you realize that you no longer have feelings for that person.

 

What usually happens with me is that I'll be interested, but once I get to know the guy a little I find out that we're not really compatible and it seems to happen a lot. Also I think I get scared easily and I'm not sure why. I'm very protective of myself and have a hard time opening up in romantic relationships. With this situation though, I've been friends with him for so long that I know we have similar personalities and values. I know that he'd be incredible to me because he already is as a friend. All this being said...I don't know why I'm so nervous and can't just go for it.