I need help! BAD!!!!!

[KcMo20]

Okay I have been with a female once and I loved it. Of couse, my boyfriend doesn't know. But now I'm telling him that I want a threesome (me, him, and another girl) so I can experience that feeling again. I'm telling him this because I think it is the only way i can have sex with another girl, because when I am in public, I am afriad to aproach a girl and it of course is easy for him. So I need help on approaching a girl and not feeling dumb if she isn't bi or gay. When I'm out a I see alot of attravtive girls I would love to get to know personally and just by myself, but I do not know how to approach them and what to say, with out looking dumb and getting rejected. So is there anyway of looking at a girl and know that she is gay or bi? if you can help please email me at email removed

Thanks

[Cadence308]

Sorry, but there is absolutely NO WAY that you can just look at someone and tell their sexual orientation. Nobody wears a sign on their forehead that says, "I'm gay" or "I'm bi."

 

If you are looking for someone for a threesome why don't you post a thread on link removed stating what you want or some other personals ad. There are people out there looking for the same thing, it's just a matter of finding them and not offending those who aren't looking for the same thing in the process.

 

You're right...it's not a good idea to just approach a woman for a threesome. Also, I wouldn't respond to a lesbian ad and ask a woman for a threesome. I have posted an ad, looking to meet women for friendship that could eventually lead to more. I have received so many responses from women who are married or have a boyfriend and are just looking for some extracurricular action on the side or they and their partner are looking for someone for a threesome. I get a little offended since I am not looking for a threesome at all and my threads state that I am single and looking for a single woman.

 

Your best bet is link removed or link removed.

[Tigris]

If you go ahead and do that you could end up losing your boyfriend or having permanent 3somes and no proper relationships.

 

Please be careful and think about the long term problems with this experiment.

[northernlights]

It sounds like you are more attracted (at least sexually) to women than men, and you are using a threesome idea with your boyfriend so you can fulfill this desire while still being able to maintain a conventional, heteronormative life.

 

But as others have said, do you want to have threesomes for the rest of your life? Do you want to be unsatisfied but date men because of your fear, and always wonder if you would be so much happier with women? Is this far for you AND your boyfriend?

 

I know when I was in denial, I would date men but I hated doing sexual things with them. Yes, I dated attractive looking men with attractive personalities so I enjoyed spending time with them, but I realize I treated them more like they were my best friends than my boyfriends. When it came to being sexual, my heart was never in it. They could see that, and it bothered them. They thought they were bad in bed or they were bad kissers, but really, it was just because they were men.

 

I was miserable. They were miserable. It wasn't fair. Yes, it was the easier heteronormative life to live, but it was not fun. I think that's something you should think about. Can you imagine yourself playing the straight game for the rest of your life and still be happy?

 

As for gaydar...hah, there definitely is no clear cut way of knowing if a woman is gay. Some of them you can tell, but that's if you're attracted to the really butch types or the ones who wear rainbow pins and axe earrings or who shave their heads and have crew cuts. But even some of those women are straight too!

 

Is there a gay community around you that you can take part in? Gay volunteer groups? Gay organizations? These are good ways to meet other gay women who want to date women. I don't think this would be good to find someone for a threesome though.

 

If you want a threesome and nothing else, then there's probably plenty of bicurious women or adventurous women on the internet who would love to join in. But again, are you going to be doing threesomes forever just to fulfil your desires?