is he interested or what?

[lara78]

So the guy and I have known each other almost 3 weeks now. We were e-mailing back and forth yesterday, he asked me what i'm doing for the rest of the week, i asked him. Neither of us had a ton going on. He mentioned that he might drive down to this casino place on sat and do i like gambling? I was honest and said i wasnt a huge gambler, then said i've been to that place before and it's depressing and smoky. I added that i do like slot machines sometimes. I just couldnt imagine spending a nice summer day there. So i never heard back from him after i sent that...

 

At this point i dont know what to think...if he was completely uninterested he probably wouldnt have e-mailed me asking what i was up to...but at the same time he's not asking me out. I refuse to call him or ask him out because i did the last time...what do you think his deal is?

[kellbell]

Have you been on a date before? Or would this have been your first date.

 

I think you may have rumpled his feathers a bit by having a huge distaste for the casino scene. Perhaps going to the casino is something he likes to do and you hate it. I would wait for him to contact you again with different plans. If he does not, then I would move on. You two may have different likes on what to do for fun. Good luck.

[jazzgirrl]

I think its great you expressed your opinion about the casino. If you don't hear from him, I would say that he probably got the message loud and clear. I would also wait until he contacts you again.

[Starfall]

It doesn't sound like he's interested. If he was he'd be calling you, wanting to be with you regardless of what you thought of the casino. From my experience when a guy is into you, he doesn't hesitate to make plans with you, etc.

[lara78]

well if he's going to never call me again because i said i'm not a huge gambler...then that's pretty stupid

 

I am feeling like he's not overly interested at this point...but what's he emailing me for then?

 

I feel like i did something to turn him off in the past week or so but i dont know what...we had fun the last time we hung out, he was telling me he liked me told me to call him when i left...but i feel like things have pretty much s*cked this week with him

 

I'm so tired of meeting guys like...i just want to meet someone who will call me frequently, make plans with me frequently, just want to be with me and talk to me. Im starting to get angry. Its almost embaressing...im tired of feeling excited and telling friends, then when they ask about the person agian its like, oh well he never called again so that's over. I'm truly just ready for a relationship...i'm fun, attractive, nice, smart...i just feel like no one wants to be with me for very long.

[Orlander]

Never answer an invitation with a negative response. To him it probably looks like this...

 

Him: "Do you want to go out?"

You: "No"

 

That cut and dry. He probably looked at it as rejection. Next time, try something like...

 

"I'm not really into casinos or gambling but would you like to go with me later to Place X or Place Y to do Thing A or Thing B?"

 

You did well by telling him what you thought about the casino btw.

 

Orlander

[Orlander]

Oh, and I have a rule (a relatively new rule though) for myself that if I meet or start talking to someone online I ask to exchange phone numbers to communicate or ask that we meet for a face to face conversation. If the emails go longer than a week and no plans have been made for phone conversations or a meeting, I wont email or IM that person again.

 

Emails/IMs, in my humble opinion, are a communication supplement to a healthy relationship, not the primary form of communication.

 

 

Orlander

[kellbell]

If you feel he is not enough for you, then I would move on. Perhaps let things pan out before you let your friends know. Your prince charming is out there .

[lara78]

Orlander he hadnt invited me though. He mentioned that HE might go there himself and then asked if i liked gambling. That's not an invitation...i expressed that no i'm not that big into gambling

 

ASide from that, i asked him to do something last sunday and he didnt come...i didnt get all bent out of shape about it.

[Starfall]

Lara.. don't give up. You are wonderful, smart, beautiful, etc. There's nothing wrong with going out and meeting new people. I encourage that. When a guy is into you.. they don't let you go. They don't let a weekend come up that doesn't involve plans with you. You'll see the difference when you meet that special someone.

 

You did nothing wrong and neither did he. "He's just not that (into) you". Be thankful, don't be sensitive about it. It leaves you open and ready to meet that someone who will be INTO YOU. You haven't met him yet, but you will. I promise. He'll be thankful the other guys let you go. When you aren't looking is when you'll find him.

[Orlander]

lara, I think that was an invitation. This guy just may be on the fence about dating you OR he could just be shy or uncertain about himself. You DO deserve someone that knows for sure he wants to spend time with you, but maybe you shouldn't count this guy out yet...especially if you think he may genuinely be interested in you.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with calling him up and asking him outright what his intentions are.

 

 

Orlander

[hosswhispra]

I don't think there is anything wrong with calling him up and asking him outright what his intentions are.

 

Now I know Orlander means well, but....wouldn't that scare someone away by asking him what his intentions were?

 

My twin sister did that once (asked a guy what his intentions were) and he said, "Oh my G-D, you have balls"

 

My vote is to wait for him to contact you. I mostly agree with starfall.