WheresMyHeart Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I have a girlfriend of 6 months. Im not sure if i love her though. We used to hang out almost everyday. Just recently i had not seen her for a week or week and a half and wasnt really bothered by this. When we hang out we have good times some laughs and stuff. I always tell her i love her and i was sure i did until today. I talked to my ex who i dated for about a year and a half. We have been split for about two years. When we split we never really talked like we did. We talked and stuff but it wasnt the same we still shared each other but you know. Well neways i called her tonight. We talked about my G/f now about how shes insecure and how she doesnt want me talking to my ex. My current girl has asked me though if i had feelings for my ex and of course i say no but i know i do that some part of me loves her still i mean i cant not look at this girl. I have to look at her something about her just makes me feel something in my stomach ya know. My g/f used to ask me though all the time and id say no. well neways i talked to my ex and we got onto the subject of missing the old times. And she asked if i love my g.f and i didnt know what to say i couldnt explain how i felt. but i could tell her a part of me still loved her and that i want another chance if me and my current g/f ever split or something. I ended our convo with I miss you and got a I miss you 2. now i want my ex.....but i want my g/f and if i decide i dont want her i cant hurt her thats my worst fear is hurting her i dont know how.... Plz i need help im so confused...who do i choose?? Link to comment
dopexile Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Your relationship with your ex ended for a reason. Because of the fact that you're with another girl you elevated her interest level... if she can get you to dump your gf it would be a huge ego boost. Remember, people always think the grass is greener on the other side, you should really think over why you broke up with her in the first place. If she ended the relationship then it's likely you'd just get dumped again, but if you ended it then there was surely a good reason why you didn't want to be around her. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 welcome to eNotalone. I agree with dopexile, an ex is an ex for a reason! I think you should evaluate both girls closely, think of the pros and cons of both relationships. Remember, people always think the grass is greener on the other side, you should really think over why you broke up with her in the first place. If she ended the relationship then it's likely you'd just get dumped again, but if you ended it then there was surely a good reason why you didn't want to be around her. yeah, this is really a catch-22! why did you and the ex break up? that is very important. don't try to choose between the girls, but rather, find the girl that is right for YOU. If you and the ex broke up for a solid reason, and you just don't have strong feelings towards the new girl, honestly, I would tell you my advice is for you to find girl #3! What if your ex is seeing someone new, or if she started seeing someone new? would that affect your decision to stay with the new girl? good luck Link to comment
asianlkp22 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 You are wrong for talking to your ex, that's like a form of cheating to some girls. I am going through the same sort of.....more complicated, but similar. My boyfriend calls his ex, I have no idea why he calls her, but only when he's upset with me or when we argue. I just want him to STOP because it is hurting me dramatically. I want to leave him because he continues to do so, it would be every few months or so when he does this, but still he does it. This last time he PROMISED me that he loves me and it won't happen again, but I don't believe him at all. After hearing your story, it's making me think that my boyfriend may not love me either, but I feel that he does, he is just insecure of our relationship, because I didn't make an effort to get my divorce while we were together for a year, so now its final, he has no other reason. Sweetie, I am telling you my story, because I know how your current girlfriend is feeling, it's very hurtful. Stop you guys broke up for a reason, no matter what kind of memories you had, that was in the past and you can't relive them. Do what your heart tells you? Just don't be selfish and try to have both, because you will end up alone. So with you doing this, you are hurting your present girlfriend just by having contact with your ex. Don't lead anyone on, stop being selfish and wanting to have both, because you just can't. Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 well me and my current girl fight alot and i dont want that...i dont know i talk with my ex and i just like it so much and it makes me feel good....i can barely talk to my g.f on the fone its hard but with my ex i can listen and stuff...i dont know i actually can talk to her back not just sit there and go yea uh huh ok yep..it sux i dont know what to do its like i wanna kiss my ex one more time just to see whats there ya know Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 why did you and the ex break up? who broke up with whom? Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 i broke up with her cuz i was confused cuz i wasnt allowed to c her then i saw her and wanted her but it wasnt the same for her nemore then she dumped me and now im heartbroken and have wanted her back for like 2 yrs and she now tells me she wants me back too Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 well, you know, you are all pretty young, I think you should figure out what it is you want, and then go for it. But tell everyone what your final decision is. ie, if you decide to stay with the current girl, tell your ex it is over. If you decide to try again with your ex, tell the current girl it is over for good. Don't mess with their heads. And think about option #3 - maybe neither is right for you! Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 i want my ex so bad....and she wants me too...but how do i tell my g/f ya know who is in like madly in love with me...i love her but i dont love her like my ex i guess....i miss everything about my ex.....how do i tell my g/f that i hate hurting her... Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 just tell her the truth, be be kind and gentle. How would you want someone to break up with you? You'd rather they be nice about it than mean. Maybe just tell her that you don't have the kinds of feelings for her that you need to continue in this relationship, but that you wish her well, but you think it's best if you two broke up. Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 i think im choosing my ex guys..i love her..... Link to comment
Rain__man Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Crappy situation, but I'm glad to hear you made a choice! Now just take the word "think" out of there, and break the bad news to your gf. Do her a favor and don't leave her ANY reason to think you two might get back together-you owe her that. If you don't feel as strongly as she does, this was probably going to happen anyway, whether your ex is the right one for you or not. Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 14, 2006 Author Share Posted July 14, 2006 this all bothers me because its all just a chance to help better myself its just that ive never been able to get over my ex....i see her in the halls at skool i have to look..i had a class with her..i just stared at her in the most wanting way but never let her see me....i have dreams about her...i dont have my dreams about my g/f...i dont think i feel that way bout my g.f ya know....something about my ex is just so.....undescribable i guess....i dont know guys...my g/f wants me to give her a second to see if she can quit starting fights..and she wants to try to make it work...but i odnt know.. Link to comment
solitary Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 what i dnt understand is why people continue to mess with their ex when they are having a serious relationship.they dnt seem to get the point that the new partner may nt see eye to eye about this relationship with the ex. if there is any friendship its alright, but i never saw any true friendship between ex'es.... Link to comment
asianlkp22 Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 You are 17? You are too young. WOW, well, sweetie, you have to go through heartbreak before you actually get to the one person you truly do love. My suggestion, stop worrying about these girls, stop leading them both on, and remain friends with them. You are still young, you have plently of options in life. Focus on school and your future. Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 well guys i was rejected by my ex she wants to be single right now and isnt sure if she feels the way i do i guess that shows me ya know its just hard...i cried today cuz of this....o welll Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 so now what? what happens with your gf? will you stay with her, or break up? you may want to take some time before making a final decision. let your head clear. Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 im gonna take some time away and just let myself re group i owe myself at least that but even though i was rejected i was happy while it lasted just the thought of almost having her made me happy....but i will continue to try in little ways so that i dont push her a way from me Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 but i will continue to try in little ways so that i dont push her a way from me hm.. that doesn't sound healthy, to keep trying to get your ex back, even after she rejected you and you have a gf.... Link to comment
WheresMyHeart Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 im not like obsessed or something or a stalker i just love her and i dont know how to let her go...when she walks into the room im like on edge or something like in a good way i just notice her big time but its always been like that ya know Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 stay far far away from her! and spend more time with your current gf. Link to comment
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