Is he seeing someone else?

[REDIRECT43]

Hey all..just a brief overview. This guy and I had been seeing each other for two years, on and off. Neither one of us were that serious about the relationship. I have feelings for him, and I'm sure he did for me, but we just didn't take it to a higher level than seeing each other once or twice a week. Anyway, we had been fighting the past month, mostly because of me. I wanted to take it further, but I went about it the wrong way and attacked him verbally instead of simply trying to talk. We are getting along now, but something isn't right. I never pursued him much in the past, but lately I have been. I will call him, and he won't call me back. He will say he will call me back, but then never does. He is busy and works long hours during the day doing construction, and most of the time he doesn't get service, but still he should call me back. Also, when we have sex, he's been trying these new tricks on me. They are nice, and work really well but he never did them before. I read that this could be a sign that he's seeing someone. But it could also be because I told him I was bored sexually with him. Also as of late, he has been calling me and inviting me out with his friends, and when I say yes, something always comes up and we don't end up doing anything. I was thinking this could be because another girl called and he'd rather hang with her, or because of a fight we had and I brought up the fact that he hides me from his friends and never wants to see me, and is trying to make a weak effort. Well yesterday he left a voicemail asking if I wanted to go to the driveins with him and his friends and their girlfriends. I called him back and said I would like to go and then he goes "Ok well I don't know if I'm going to go or not, cuz Tony wants to go out and get drinks, but I'll call you when I get out of the gym." I was like ok. An hour later, I just sent him a text and said "We should just be friends from now on." I haven't heard anything from him ...no reply or anything. Does anyone get his behavior? Cuz I don't. It's best that we are friends, but I don't know if there was someone else. I asked him last week, and he said there wasn't, and I believed him. I'm pretty good at reading lies, so I feel strongly that he was telling the truth. I also feel that he calls me and asks me to hang out to see if I am still interested in him, because I have no stopped pursuing him and have pulled away a great deal.

[MISSING LINK]

Not much to figure out here. His actions are SCREAMING everything you need to know. You're not a priority. He knows you'll accept whatever crumbs he throws your way. Why should he make an effort?

[REDIRECT43]

Yea, I was afraid of that ...

 

He used to call me back, and I used to be a priority...but now I'm not. So you think his behavior is more because I let him get away with it, rather than there being someone else?

[MISSING LINK]

Definetely because you let him get away with it, but who knows if there's someone else. You can't control that anyway. Worry about yourself for now.

[Hope75]

I agree that as long as you accepted these actions and staedy with him, he did what he wanted to do and he knew you'd let him get away with it.

 

Two years is a long time to date someone casually, and knowing that you want something more, and he does not (clear by his actions), you definitely did the right thing. His actions do not show love, respect nor consideration for you.

[REDIRECT43]

Thanks guys for all your help. It sucks knowing he doesn't care. I just don't get why he would keep calling me. Was this to boost his ego or something, to see if I was still into him? Just a month ago he called me drunk and left a message saying he needed me because I hadn't called him in 4 days. And now he doesn't care? And I don't get how he can treat me like that. I'm beautiful and have everything going for me....granted I can be a real witch at times, but he made me so mad sometimes and I let things slip. Oh well...time heals all wounds.

[Momene]

He just isn't that into you, hard though it is to accept. There's better people about than him, forget him. Who? Got the idea already!

[Hope75]

Thanks guys for all your help. It sucks knowing he doesn't care. I just don't get why he would keep calling me. Was this to boost his ego or something, to see if I was still into him? Just a month ago he called me drunk and left a message saying he needed me because I hadn't called him in 4 days. And now he doesn't care? And I don't get how he can treat me like that. I'm beautiful and have everything going for me....granted I can be a real witch at times, but he made me so mad sometimes and I let things slip. Oh well...time heals all wounds.

 

Yes, It's pretty much an ego trip for him. Unfortunately some people get off on stringing others along... it helps them feel good about themselves and they don't really think about what they are doing to the other person.

 

In a case like this, it's best not to overanalyze why he does this and that and pay attention to the core of his behavior... the fact that he doesn't want the same thing you do.