Got myself in a real mess.

[Ohso]

I'm in a right mess and can't see a way out.

 

My BF left me a few weeks ago, it was hard as you'd expect but some things you just can't controll. Two weeks after the break up I learn he's sleeping with someone else, it knocked me for six but again I had to learn to live with it. Now three weeks on he's trying to move his new guy in to the house share we still live in.

 

I don't want to sound like a drama queen but I really don't think I can cope with this any more. Loosing the person you love more than life itself is hard enough, but living with him while he loves it up with the new guy is too much. I'm ashamed to say that for all the pain he's caused, I still actually love him. I know there's no going back and I knew at some point he'd find someone else......but so soon.

 

It's the fact that he doesn't seem to care how I feel, I'd never dream of moving some guy into the house while my Ex was still living there. To me it's a selfish, almost cruel thing to do. He knows it upsets me but to my surprise he seems to be ok with it.

 

My problem is I have no where else to go, I want to get out of here but I can't afford to live alone on the money I make. None of my family can take me in for the long term, they also live 250 miles away so moving in with them would mean loosing my job. I've got no friends to help, no way to escape.

 

I'm living a nightmare, every time I see him I hurt inside, he's already started bringing him back for some hanky panky.....I'm in the next room and can hear everything, I have to leave the house or go mad.

 

I dont really expect anyone here to give me advice, believe me if there was a way out I'd have found it and taken it. I just need to tell someone, anyone what I'm going through.

[shorty20]

theres a website called link removed where you can find other poeple who are looking for roommates in your area. Go on there and look for someone around you that is also looking for a roommate and get out of that situation asap. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

You should either try to get a roomate, or maybe just get a second job That way, you've got good reason to be out of the house almost all the time, except come home to sleep, and also you'll be making extra money, so you can move! I think your best bet is to let go of the relationship completely, pretend it never happened, and get out!!

[robowarrior]

What you can try to do tho is to be in the house as less as possible as you can. Be in the library , the cinema ,the city into looking for a new place to stay. Try to get out of the drama as soon as possible. Its gonna break your heart on the long term, personally i think you should always keep on loving him, but in the realisation that you have to move on into another apartment as soon as possible. Keep on Looking.

[InHiding]

I'm SO sorry this is happening to you! This is unfortunate. I remember you replied to one of my posts about my breakup, and you are probably at the same stage I am in this whole thing. That is very cold hearted of him to be doing this. Why doesn't he just move in with that new guy? It seems so wrong that you should be the one forced into this horrible situation.

 

I agree with the others, maybe finding a second job would help keep your mind busy and out of the house. Then you could afford to move to a new place, or have some time to find a new roommate. But hang in there! You will get through this!

[FoxLocke]

I agree with everyone else. Just something to keep your mind off of him...

 

Anyway, I am extremely sorry about what happened. But I believe you will be okay.

 

You hang in there.

[Mr Mister1]

I got a question, why doesn't he move out to somewhere else? If he's the one leaving. Doesn't sound right to expect you to be okay with him brining someone new in like that, sounds mean and inconsiderate!

[Ohso]

I can't understand his reasons, he wants what he wants and he's doing what it takes to get it. The fact that it's killing me inside doesn't come into it.

 

What scares me most is once he's moved his new guy in will he try to get me to move out. My ex and the landlord are friends, with the new guy moved in he can easily say to him, either kick him out (meaning me) or the two of us leave. Faced with loosing 2 paying tennants or 1....it's not much of a choice.

[Mr Mister1]

He sounds like a real nasty guy, maybe you're better off with someone else and letting this new guy experience all the nasty stuff.. hmm gotta question what kind of guy this new guy is if he's okay with all this, sounds like they're both meanies!

[Ohso]

See he's a nice guy, he really is, I wouldn't have spent six years with him otherwise.

 

I can't explain his actions, they seem very out of character from my past experiances. He's always been so good to me in every way.

 

I know it sounds like I'm stuck in the past, I can't say 100% that isn't the case. I do still have feelings for him, I can't turn them off as much as I might like to. I do know the relationship is over, I've said it before that there's no going back.

 

It's just too soon for me, maybe five weeks is time enough for some people but it's not even close for me. I need time to heal, but being here is opening all the old wounds on a daily basis and it's getting to be too much.

[alleycat99]

Honey I agree with what everyone is saying, but it sounds like you having a really tough time dealing with all of that. There are hotlines available where you can access counselors 24/7 (make sure they are legit!!) Check to find out what's available in your area (there are often local numbers) but if not, you can find 1800 numbers (those are the ones you have to be careful of). Or, depending on your availability, go see a counselor, the only problem with that is sometimes you have to wait a few weeks, whereas you can access a phone counselor anytime. You need to talk about all of these emotions you're feeling. Some of the things you wrote have me concerned about your state of mind. If it seems like it's absolutely too much and you can't deal with things, and you consider hurting yourself or someone else, please get yourself to the nearest ER or call a crisis hotline.