Its over

[reddog]

I lost it. Checked her email and saw all the lovey dovey stuff with her new partner. I have fallen into a pit I am not able to get myself out of. I feel nothing. I gave so much to this person, for them to rip from me. I am a rag doll. I have nothing left. I was so strong, but now I have fallen so hard. I know what I must do to get back, but I am so numb I can't. This is the worst feeling I have ever felt. I don't want to be here anymore. I know life goes on, but how? I will never be the same. It will be so hard for me to ever care that much for anyone now. I am hurt for life. My life means nothing to me right now. It hurst me so much that I could be this way. I guard myself because of this and now I am going to go into a shell. Not even an angel could save me.

[The Date Doctor]

Wow. This is really just a rant. I am not really sure what to say to all of this. If you would like to engage in the subtext of this post, feel free to PM me via MSN messenger. My MSN name is in my profile.

 

Sounds like you just need to vent.

[brando]

reddog,

 

It will be ok, tust me. Take the time you need to heal and to accept the finality of this relationship. You are worth more than this relationhip.Keep posting here, you will need to get it out, and wrtiing it out here is the best way to drain the pain.

 

be well.

[Goldfish6888]

I'm sorry to hear it did not work out. You will feel this way for a little while. That deep pitted feeling of sickness in your stomach, that you are going to throw up. That foggy feeling through your eyes - like everything is in slow motion. You see people laughing and you feel like they should'nt be. Some days you will feel strong, other days you will keel over. Unfortunately that is the healing process.

 

Do not look at her email account anymore! I was doing the same with my ex. Leave IT ALONE. Why stick the daggers back into your heart? What she does now, does not concern you.

 

What does concern you - is you. Now is the time to be selfish. Do the things you want. Visit the places you want. Take that vacation you always wanted. Do a course. Follow your dream.

 

See this as a branch in the road where you can walk up the hill ( it's going to be hard) or you can roll down it and end at the bottom.

 

Believe me, having lost what I thought was a soulmate.....things do feel the same. Then you meet someone else and all thoughts of the old love are out the window.

 

THINGS WILL GET BETTER. BE ASSURED of THAT. Don't be hard on yourself. You did nothing wrong. You took a risk.. on falling in love. It did not work out. Someone better is out there for you......You will find your strength again.

 

Lots of hugs. Goldfish

[pablovblack]

Honey, you have to really believe when people say it gets better, I really wanted to die when me and my ex broke up, I thought there was no way out, but there is, its called time and the pain does subdue, you will make it I can promise you that. Find time to do new things and better yourself, then one day you will realise that its all going to be a little more rosey...

 

Hugs and best wishes.

 

A

[onayrb]

reddog,

Same thing happened to me when I was 21. 2 yr relationship. She left me for another guy. I saw them walking hand in hand one day - that sent me to the lowest place I've probably been - I think I sat down and chain-smoked and rocked back and forwards in a slightly crazy way for 2 days solid, but guess what, time healed me, I've been in love twice since (as deep, as important as her) -I'm 32 now, love still hurts (I'm hurting now) but it is very true and very real that you will get better in time but that getting better will be really tough. It's a challenge to face, but you can do it. Best wishes.

[reddog]

Was doing pretty bad today. Went into work still numb. Came home crying in my car. A friend came over and helped me out. Helped talk some sense into me. I was thinking about running away for the week, but thats not going to help any. Just have to realize what she is doing to me and see that she isn't worth it ANY more. She is in a cycle of need. She is 21 dating a 27 year old divorce who is giving her everything she wants right now. Before me it was the same thing, her and her exboyfriend were on a break (like there 3rd) and she didn't tell me till I was in love. She is just a needy girl and will realize what she has passed up. Day one of NC! Anyone know if you can block numbers on your cell?

 

Thank you guys for your support! It really does mean a lot.

[rawkSTAR]

Anyone know if you can block numbers on your cell?

 

 

I wish i knew too

[reddog]

I really put the pieces together today. Talking to my friend and my cousin. My ex has been in relationships since she was 14 and now almost 21. She has a need for them. When something in her life doesn't work or stops to her likeing, she goes and finds something new. This is what she is doing with her new boyfriend that she is trying to hide from everyone. I only know from her emails what I know and I got her to change her password yesterday. She tells everyone else differently. She knows family and friends would disagree this is why she is hidding it. Three weeks and already someone new. She does this with her cars (malibu, beatle, mini, jeep, jeep) and has done it with her kitten. She replaces them. I have found her flaw and it is helping me so much to get over her. I don't deserve this treatment and if she could do this to me, I don't want her. As Poison says "Every rose has its thorn." I actually ate a decent dinner. All positive steps. Hey she helped me lose weight with this breakup, which I really need. Starting on day 2 of NC! It does help when you break your phone. ](*,)

 

Please don't let your ex get to you as I did. You deserve so much more.

[reddog]

Well I played on my co-ed softball team sunday that she is the manager of. She was there. She tried to be friendly, while I pretty much ignored her only replying when I had to. I am not going to let her ruin my fun in life. The only way I was playing was if her new bf was not going to be there. At one point she smacked me on my butt and I replied questionly "My ex just smacked me on my butt?" Do any of you have any suggestions how I should handle my ex at the games? I obviously want to be very friendly to her as that is the person I am, but I don't want to be seen as wanting her back or being needy. I am friends with her whole family and they are supporting me through this breakup. I actually talk to her dad for help. Suggestions?

[mikeywins21]

Come on man, the rebound NEVER last's. She's just looking to replace something she missed with you. I give her and this new guy 2 weeks tops, and even if it is more the min you get over her completely your phone will be ringing. Just like in Swingers. My ex wife's rebound (the guy she cheated on me with that broke us up) He got what he wanted from her and ended it like within weeks. I don't even think it was a whole month. I know it's hard tho.

[reddog]

Come on man, the rebound NEVER last's. She's just looking to replace something she missed with you. I give her and this new guy 2 weeks tops, and even if it is more the min you get over her completely your phone will be ringing. Just like in Swingers. My ex wife's rebound (the guy she cheated on me with that broke us up) He got what he wanted from her and ended it like within weeks. I don't even think it was a whole month. I know it's hard tho.

 

 

I can't think optimisticly. If I do, I will only be stuck waiting for her to come back. I am trying to move on and it is starting to work. She saw that I lost 40 lbs. Her dad commented on purpose on how good I looked. I have been working out and obviously not been eating correctly. I have not been starving myself, just not eating a lot. Ordering salads and small items. I run on the eliptical machine for an hour on level 6 every day of the week and been lifting. I was an athletic big guy at 280 6'3" and held my weight pretty good and played football. Now I am down to 240. My goal is 220-200. Once I get some more muscle on my body I think the weight will settle at 220. I have to go out and buy some new clothes as all my clothes are baggy now.

 

Should I keep acting like I am or should I be a little more friendly to her when she talks to me?

[need2bme]

The way you should handle her at the game, is to chase her around with the bat.

 

I think you can be as friendly as the sitch calls for. Don't be anyone's pound puppy. I used to try and not follow around the girls at work, when all of the guys would be running after them and it worked.

 

I actually did not want to be a pound puppy or someone's second choice. I put too much stock into my GF, wanting her to complete me and as much as the movies would like us to believe, only I can do that.

[brando]

The best thing to do is joke with her. Go alon with it have fun. DOnt let her see you down.

 

Your handling it well, but i would leave off the x refrences.

[mamy123]

When my friend broke up with her ex for the hundreth time... I told her to change his display name on her cell to "DON'T ANSWER". That way when he'd eventually call to beg her back, her cell would tell her, "DON'T ANSWER"! It worked for a while...

[blindreepr]

When my friend broke up with her ex for the hundreth time... I told her to change his display name on her cell to "DON'T ANSWER". That way when he'd eventually call to beg her back, her cell would tell her, "DON'T ANSWER"! It worked for a while...

 

lol, my ex's phone number is under dont answer as well

[Riley99]

Brando is right. Don't let her see you moping around. Laugh, have fun, let her see the great, happy guy she is missing. Who wants to be with someone who is sad and depressed all the time? Trust me, I ALWAYS make this mistake but what always seems to work is to put a smile on your face, have a great time, and they remember all the great times you had and how fun you are.

 

I hope you are feeling better. For me, I listen to songs. "Wheel" by John Mayer always makes me feel better. Also, I focus on a new goal in life (something exciting like planning a trip or moving somewhere else) or engage in a new hobby. Anything to take your mind off your sadness helps...

[reddog]

The way you should handle her at the game, is to chase her around with the bat.

 

Thats what I wanted to do! You are a good mind reader.

 

I know to act confident and happy in front of her, its just the situations where I have to talk to her. I think their is a line between being friendly and needy and its very thin. Trying to find that line is hard. She texted me this morning telling me she received a blank message from me even though I didn't send crap. Didn't reply. I am just going to work on my own life and ignore what messages I can and reply to messages I have to. Life goes on if you like it or not. I have to do the best I can with what is left.

[reddog]

My emotional roller coaster ride is going down hill today. My parents were talking about going on vacation and it hit me that I don't have anyone to share a vacation with . Missing the relationship tonight. I need to find something to do. Get my mind off this. Crazy!

[reddog]

She texted me yesterday morning saying she got a blank text from me. I stopped a text sunday that I hit ok too quickly to tell her I was coming to the softball game. She is probably just trying to be friendly. I ignored it. Still depressed today. Its raining like yesterday and I have nothing to do. I need to find someone to date or do something. Hate sitting around. Keep telling myself don't call/text her. I feel the urge sometimes. I want to invite her to go on vacation, but I know I can't ARGGGG!!! This is one week of LC. LIFE GOES ON!