i dont know how to cope

[lilac_indi]

hi me again! bet you guys are sick of my ranting lol.

 

its been almost three months and im still not out of the whole shock of my ex breaking up with me. it was very intense and an emotional rollercoaster for me. my ex treated my very badly and a few days ago ive discovered he has a new gf which devastated me - he is walking around laughing and joking and i am a wreck - did i really mean that little to him that he managed to move on soo quickly?

 

i feel weak - the things he put me through like the lies, the betrayal and especially the mind games after the break up, you'd think i would hate him but despite wanting to i cant. i still love him and i guess a part of me always will - he was my first. its funny - he has contacted me seven times after our split - at first it was displaying how distraught and sad he was when the truth was he was holding parties and laughing at my expense which killed my self-esteem. even though he has a gf he sent me 'accidental' texts - i dont know why he hasnt deleted my number yet but my cousin had to confront him about it. i was making progress to coming to terms with everything and i want to forget but those texts brought me back to square one. if he has moved on why wont he let me do the same? can anyone please help me?

[gaiden]

Firstly, noone will get tired of your 'ranting'-- That's what this board is all about. Rant as often as you need to.

 

I've heard a couple different answers to the question you asked so I'll take a stab at it.

 

I also went through/am going through this type of behavior with my ex. She constantly emailed/texted/im'd etc... after the breakup. She was the one who left me so I couldn't understand why she wouldn't leave me alone.

 

Someone said to me that it looks like they are still trying to extend control over you even though the relationship is over. If they can get your goat, or get you to respond to them, then they will know they still have control over you and will keep it and use it as they see fit. Don't give your power away to someone who clearly doesn't deserve it.

 

My father asked me a question once, he said, "Hey, you ever think about that spare tire in the back of your car?"

"No" I replied.

"How often do you ever think about it?", he said...

"Well, whenever I need it" I responded.

"Exactly", he said

 

Don't let yourself become a back-up g/f or "sparetire"

[Allie.]

My father asked me a question once, he said, "Hey, you ever think about that spare tire in the back of your car?"

"No" I replied.

"How often do you ever think about it?", he said...

"Well, whenever I need it" I responded.

"Exactly", he said

 

Don't let yourself become a back-up g/f or "sparetire"

 

Haha. gaiden...i love your advice. Its always very very deep and meaningful. and it always seems to help me in the weirdest ways. haha. keep up the posting!

 

Allie.

[pablovblack]

have you got msn messenger, if so PM me if you want to chat one night about it all...

[lilac_indi]

gaiden thanks for your support an advice, i have kept strict NC since the split and i dont intend to let him know that i still miss him and care about him - that will only increase his ego. i want to move on and hopefully after my cousin had a word with him, he will finally leave me alone.

[evyrew]

Silence is disaster for those on an ego trip... Don't let his laughing hurt you, don't let his ego hurt you, staying away is the best thing for your healing.

[lilac_indi]

hey...

well i was on msn last nite and i was talkin to some mates, i didnt have msn messenger opened so i didnt know that my ex was online too. this is gonna sound strange, i know i felt it was strange so please - opnions and theorys welcome!

 

i saw something flash at the bottom of the screen and it was my ex - i was like 'uh oh' so i opened it. apparently it wasnt my ex but his friend hazel who was on his msn - he lets her use it cos they know the same ppl (is that believable??) and 'hazel' started askin if i still hated my ex cos he was upset that he had left me and thought he had let me down. i asked some mates afterwards and they seem to think it was him - how would you give out your password just like that?? i dont know what to think but i replied that i had moved on and that i had nothing against him. what do you guys think?