Breaking up....

[BigButtBrigg]

My boyfriend and I have had an unhealthy relationship for over 2 years now. We fight all the time and he makes me feel unwanted and unappreciated. (LONG STORY) Anyways, I talked to some people at work and online about it, and they told me to break up with him. I have tried a number of times, but we always get back together......I finally just started to ignore him...not answer his calls, won't open the door when he comes over....etc. He is leaving me messages and making me feel guilty. I want to end things, but I know this is the only way....what should I do? Am I wrong for doing this?

[matt_20]

Do you two ever talk about the problems that have caused this?

[segagirl]

You are not wrong for doing it, if it is what it takes to solve the issue.

 

But....if you go back to him, do it only once you have talked about and worked out the real problems. Walking blindly back in, without talking...means you will end up right back here.

 

As far as him making you feel guilty, he will prob. do just about anything right now because he is dealing with getting left. When people break up with us, we tend to do things that are not within our normal charater. Just stick to what's right for you, regardless of what he says.

[sabena]

Hello.

 

I agree with segagirl, if you go back, then you go back after you have sat with him and discussed all of the problems that you both have been experiencing, however small and insignificant.

 

For a relationship to work there has to be communication and understanding and if either partner is not receiving this then problems often arise and then cascade into further problems.

 

If you can't speak to him fae to face (and let's face it some of us are a little shy) then write him a letter explaining it. But the imperative point is to talk to him. That way if you do go back and it doesn't work then you can at least walk away with the knowledge that you did everything possible.

 

But think of what will be best for you and your partner, and good luck.

[bzborow1]

If you've dated him for over 2 years I think he at least deserves the couresy of being dumped in person.