Death threats from crazy husband

[vcubi]

I really don't know what to do in this situation. I'm married with 2 kids and I want out because of 3 years of verbal abuse and now turning to physical abuse. The thing is, is that he said if i file divorce he'll kill me and the kids because he doesn't want to pay child support. He's capable of doing this cause he served in the army before and he's got so many weapons in the house. the good thing that i did is that I got this voice recorder and every time i mention to him about divorce he would say those death threats and i'd record everything that he said. I'm afraid to tell the police cause he might kill me and the kids. what should i do? need help ASAP..thnk you.

[PRSOV]

Hi there vcubi and welcome to eNotalone,

 

You need to get out of there quick smart and find alternate place to live immediately, if you don't you are putting your own life and your kids in imminent danger.

 

Disregard what he has said about the police, he has threatened your life and your children's and as you have said is capable of doing this. If you stay and keep quiet the situation is only going to get worse and somebody will get seriously hurt.

PLEASE LEAVE THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY, HELP IS AVAILABLE...

[Beyondthesea]

The thing is, is that he said if i file divorce he'll kill me and the kids because he doesn't want to pay child support.

 

Hi sweetheart,

 

Welcome to enotalone.

 

I was too in a crazy abusive relationship, absolutely psychotic actually. My ex told me he would kill me and others if I left him, then himself sometime later. I was told I would be responsible for all these murderers. Well, here I am, and he's long gone. It's a ploy to get you to stay. Threats are very common.

 

What you should do is prepare to leave QUIETLY. Does anyone know about your situation? The most important advice I can give you: TELL SOMEONE WHAT IS GOING ON AND THAT YOU NEED HELP TO LEAVE.

 

The best thing to do is something like this:

 

First and foremost: Go to a lawyer NOW. Explain the situation, explain you need help to get out. They will help you to find somewhere safe to stay, and get the legal protection to help you and your children. Take any evidence you have of his abuse towards you, and also remember to jot down any property you two own together.

 

Have backpacks made up for in case of emergency (if you have to get out ASAP) and a plan of where to go and stay.

 

In the meantime, plan your escape. Make sure he is gone to work or wherever he goes during the day, then have arranged for you to get the heck out of the house with the kids as quick as you can. You will lose some physical possessions over this, but it's better than losing your life.

 

I just want to stress that although he calms down at certain points, it will NEVER get any better. All the bull he feeds you is just that, bull.

 

Start preparing for your freedom. The fight is a b*tch, but the view is amazing. It was very hard for me, because my ex would not leave me alone. It was terrible for a long time...but now here I am, happy and free.

 

You can do it.

[vcubi]

there where some things that i didnt add because i didnt want my post being to long...he made an agreement to file legal seperation and it went through. he said that after a year i could file a divorce but i really can't take this anymore. if i leave, he'll hunt me down and do something. he said that once the police come to the house he'll start killing everyone in the house, including himself. this is really serious and I've found a place but there's a waiting list for an apartment. what should i do in the mean time..call or go to the police? what if they don't do anything?

[Beyondthesea]

I've found a place but there's a waiting list for an apartment. what should i do in the mean time..call or go to the police?

 

I would go to the police and tell them what he's told you. Obviously he's mental and he should be assessed.

 

Honestly, go and tell them EXACTLY what he tells you...that he would start killing everybody, etc and that you are horrified. Tell them you need help and you don't know what to do. They can help you.

[vcubi]

i really want to do that but when they question him about it and then he found out that i told the police, once he gets out then i'm done for. well, won't they take his weapons away from him?

[Beyondthesea]

Why don't you phone and ask what they do in these situations? Tell them the truth. Tell them you need to know exactly what will happen because you honestly fear for your life.

 

We can ponder all we want hon, but only they will have the answers.

[coollady1957]

HI vcubi. You have a very volatile and explosive situation going on. I see that you and the kids are in much danger. This man is dangerous, but you know this already.

 

I agree with the others that you should be leaving ASAP. I understand you say that you are on some waiting list for a new place to stay. Seems to me you need a safe haven or a womens shelter or somewhere to go immediately.

 

You do need to report this and soon. Action needs to be put in place now to get out quickly. Sounds as though this guy could snap at any moment. Do you work? Is there a way that you can get busy with what you need to do on getting out and away from being physically around him?

 

Youself and children need to be some where that he can not find you. Gosh, I am fearful for you and these innocent children. I have a lot of thoughts at the moment. I may try to Private Message you today.

 

Coollady1957

[BetterKarma]

Please get out as soon as you can. Is there a time when he is not in the house and you can take the kids to a relative or a women's shelter?

 

Since you have voice recordings of his threats it would be easier to state your case to the police. You can either call them when he's not home and get a restraining order right away or you can go to the police dept with your kids. I know that when you call them, they can come right away and escort you and your kids personally to where ever you want to go.

[Bethany]

link removed

 

Get in touch with these. then get out as fast and as safely as you can. You are living with a ticking timebomb and he could explode at any time.

[coollady1957]

Paragraph below taken from that webpage that Bethany sent to you.

link removed

 

If you are a victim you can get help. The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence is dedicated to serving you. Call our toll-free 24-hour crisis line. Safe shelters accross the state will open their doors for you and your children. Many other services are available. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

 

1-800-650-6522 Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence 24 hour hotline

 

Map of Alabama Shelter locations

link removed

 

List of shelter names and contact numbers link removed

 

Let us know how you are? I have some other info for you if you come back that might be helpful.

[vcubi]

thank you all so much for the advice...i'm going to do something and think all this through..i'll be back and tell you all what happened. thanks again. god bless all you..

[coollady1957]

I have sent you a Private message on your INBOX here on ENA.

[sonjam]

I really hope you take the advice given here seriously, I fear for you and your children's safety. I will pray for you for strenth and to find a way out. Alot of us did it and we got out safe on the other side, I know you can do it too.

[coollady1957]

Just been wondering if you are okay and if you got out and away from this man? Please update us soon on your situation.

[Hope75]

Hi vcubi.

 

I am just catching up with your thread now. I am also a victim of domestic violence. My ex fiance nearly killed me after years of abuse when he threw a bowling ball at my head. I am here now, he is long gone, and I am doing great. You can get away from this man, but you need to contact the link the previous posters sent you as well as the police.

 

Please come back and let us know you are OK.

[sonjam]

Hi vcubi, We havn't heard from you in awhile, and i'm very worried that you and the kids are ok. Please let us know!

[coollady1957]

I keep checking back as well to see if you have updated or anything. We would really like to know that you and the children are safe.