what exactly is he thinking?

[fantasy9]

i am seeing this guy..and im not exactly in an official relationship with him yet..but i feel that we're going in that direction soon. the other day when i borrowed his cellphone to check out some pictures he took of me, i saw a few pics (about 4 or more) of his ex gf of about 4 years. sure theyve broken up. but why is he still keeping pictures of her in his cellphone? and he also have one framed up inside his room. i asked him about it and he says it doesnt mean anything and that its just for memories. i thought back about what he said and think..is that ok? i mean..we're sorta seeing each other now..and he still keeps it?

 

now..do guys/girls keep pics of their ex in somewher personal like cellphone? dont get me wrong. its not jealousy or anything.. well maybe it is.. but.. argghh.. well.. if someone youre seeing still keeps a afew ex's picture.. how would you react/feel and tell him about it without letting him know youre jealous?

 

he did want me to be his gf, but i just said not yet..caz he'll be leaving for Europe for 3 months for visiting/personal issues! i was hoping that we'd continue after he comes back this Sept. am i doing the right thing? considering the fact that our so called relationship were just starting to bud..and this hiatus suddenly comes up. i just dont want to lose him.

[lara78]

how long have you guys been seeing each other?

 

It sounds like he is not over his ex. I dont keep pics of my ex around and i certainly would not want a new person to see pics of him. So it makes me wonder why he has this need to have pictures of her around

 

The fact that he's leaving for 3 months is kind of a big deal, esp since you guys are not official yet. Maybe you will meet up again when he gets back, maybe not. Things can change quite a bit in 3 months

 

SOrry to sound negative, but that's just how i see it. I think you are selling yourself short by putting up with someone who is still quite attached to their ex and is leaving the country for 3 months. If it's mean to be, it'll be...but it doesnt seem that way to me.

[Balbina]

I think since you are still taking it very slow, to not jump to any conclusions about the pictures. Personally, I'm a get-rid-of-the-memories kind of girl when I break up with someone. I find it easier to move on when I don't have the constant reminders. Later on, I don't mind looking at the memories but I still am not one to keep pictures up.

 

I know from expeirence people who do keep pictures of ex's up - frames, in phones, etc. They use it as their own healing mechanism, or even just because it's been a part of their lives so long, taking them down or deleting them seems unfair. To me, it would slightly bother me if the guy I was dating still had pics of his ex, but if we were still unofficial, I would have nothing to say about it.

 

I'm sure he'll take them down when he's ready. What matters is he's seeing you and he's with you - and there are your pictures there too!

[JJRadical]

Some guys can be pretty crazy nostaligic...I still have my 1989 Bobby Meachum Yankee baseball card in my t-shirt drawer...and since your not his gf hwats it to you?

[Momene]

I don't keepictures of exes. I don't like it.

[fantasy9]

how long have you guys been seeing each other?

 

It sounds like he is not over his ex. I dont keep pics of my ex around and i certainly would not want a new person to see pics of him. So it makes me wonder why he has this need to have pictures of her around

 

The fact that he's leaving for 3 months is kind of a big deal, esp since you guys are not official yet. Maybe you will meet up again when he gets back, maybe not. Things can change quite a bit in 3 months

 

SOrry to sound negative, but that's just how i see it. I think you are selling yourself short by putting up with someone who is still quite attached to their ex and is leaving the country for 3 months. If it's mean to be, it'll be...but it doesnt seem that way to me.

 

 

firstly i apologise for the delay. weve been seeing each another for about 3 months now. we live more than 1 hour of drive. (and i cant drive..=P) im not sure why he has the need to have his ex picture around. im also not ure if hes still quite attached to his ex..but when he says that its for memories, at first i thought.. ok sure and i guess its mature and that hes cool caz he wasnt feeling guilty that he kept her picture there. but when the second thought hit me, i mean you keep ex's pictures when youre seeing someone. now, how does the other person feel? i am aware that i shudnt feel angry at him for doin that cas im not in any position to do so.. great. about meeting him after he comes back..we'll see if things/feelings are the same.. oh well.

[fantasy9]

yeah. im taking things slowly cos i dont wanna make the same mistake again. i know i do not have much say on the picture thingy coz we're not even starting yet but it gets me thinking. you know what i mean? i dont know. maybe i just think too much. but thanks! i guess hes using that for healing purposes. yup, thats a plus++ cos he has my pictures there too =)

[fantasy9]

Some guys can be pretty crazy nostaligic...I still have my 1989 Bobby Meachum Yankee baseball card in my t-shirt drawer...and since your not his gf hwats it to you?

 

then he must be quite nostalgic. yeah i know im not his gf..but it gets me thinking wouldnt you think too if you were in my position..? but i guess the bottom line is that i have no say .. just yet.

[Momene]

I feel nostalgic about school, uni, places I've worked, fish I've caught, sport but exes, no way!

 

Only explanations I can come up with (and I hope I'm wrong):

 

1. She isn't actually an ex

 

2. She is but he's not over her

 

3. She has a reputation for being good looking and he shows her off as some kind of trophy

 

1 and 2 are reasons to ditch him and 3 is a sign he needs to grow up.

[Managor]

I feel that the people I've liked in the past have become an important part of my life, just like high school and other parts of life have been. I've never been one to keep pictures of people around, but I imagine if I did, I would most likely have pictures of these people even today. Of course I'm not saying that's what your partner thinks, but don't rule it out and accuse him of still having feelings for his ex.

[fantasy9]

oh gosh. this is even tougher than my math exam! and i dont like math!! i guess i really have to talk to him about this. but how would i start it without sounding as if i am jealous/insecure? (supposedly if i am or not)