I feel like a bad person

[chainsaw_kitten87]

the title says it all. You know over the last year i've done so much to hurt myself, my ex, my friends, my family. I just don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like it's too late to ever take back anything i've done, my ex and I are great friends now and have put all that behind us, because we've both done horrible things to eachother. We're like best friends now though, but I still feel like a bad person. i stopped drugs a few months ago which was definetly a big deal but not as big as the other things i've done. there are things i will never ever tell anyone, anyone! ever! I was caught with some of it just yesterday with my family, i feel so bad about it because i stopped doing it, pulled myself out of doing what I had been, and i hoped that no one would find out, that it would blow over, but it came back to bite me where it hurts the most. what do i do? do i just let it go, blow it off and continue trying to be a better person? ahhh! im so sad about all of this. I know for a fact im a better person now, im how i used to be, but i still feel like that lieing person, the person who hurt everyone she loved the most.

any thoughts?

[brando]

One thing you can do is forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, or choose something that may not be the best thing for us at a time in our life. You are young and it will happen.

 

The best thing to do is what your already doing, learning from it and trying not to repeat it.

 

We all do the best we can with the skills we have in every moment. Then we learn new skills...

[jabele]

i stopped drugs a few months ago which was definetly a big deal but not as big as the other things i've done.

 

Give yourself some credit for that!

 

Instead of focusing on the things you've done wrong, stop to think of the good things you've done. Stopping taking drugs is a *huge* deal and you deserve to feel good about it.

 

We all make mistakes, but as long as you can learn from them and they help you grow (which it obviously did since you did such a good thing for yourself) then its okay to screw up- you're only human.

 

Good luck

[chainsaw_kitten87]

Yes the drugs was a really big step. and yes humans do make mistakes but you have no clue what I have done. I have done something so horrible to my ex and it will always have changed his life forever, and it's such a huge thing that even though we are now best friends it would mess everything we have up. it would make it so he would never talk to me again. and i've gotten close to that with him before. I got drunk and told him that it was his fault his dead ex girl friend and her baby died. their baby was murdered when he wass gone away from home and his ex gf killed herslef like 2 weeks later and i told him it was most likely the same reason i was suicidal at the time (because he wasn't there for me and maybe wasn't for her) i blaimed him even though it was never and never could have been his fault. That was a very horrible thing but we got over it (it took some time) (that was also while we were still dating) and now we are best friends and don't ever, EVER talk about that anymore. Well This other thing i've done to him is so much worse then that (which is really bad) and i'll never tell him, Never, i'll just let him believe it for the rest of our lives cause his friendship means too much to me. i love him for always (in a friend way and more) i will never do anything to lose him.

see that is horrible.