How long do you date?

[marolua]

I am writing this post in relation to the below post,

 

 

 

I'd assume that after 6 months you would have a relationship and wouldn't be 'dating' anymore, you would be together so you would need ideas of things to do together, not ideas for dating.

 

I have never been able to understand the line between dating and relationship, so I am asking your opinions to find out to where you draw the line? When do you stop dating and start a relationship?

[Batya33]

It's when the couple is comfortable being in more of a committed relationship - sometimes that is right off the bat, sometimes it takes months and sometimes it never happens because one or both want their space and options to date others. At my age I wouldn't date someone more than 2-3 months without being exclusive and I do not have sex without being exclusive so both of those are my personal timing issues.

[RayKay]

Basically, it's when you decide as a couple. Point being both of you need to be in on it!

 

This varies, and generally I need to have a basic idea of whom they are and how we fit together before it's an official commitment of sorts. I may have however stopped dating others way before that point unofficially! This can take days, weeks or months. But generally for me if a couple months into it one or both of us are still iffy about it, I think its time to part ways as we are either on different wavelengths or missing something....

 

Honestly, usually for me if I am still wanting to date others, generally things don't advance with that person. I think something is generally missing if I am still wanting to look/date others. If I find I lose interest in dating others almost right off the bat, I know there is something there. Even then, I still like to hold back a bit....except with my present bf whom knocked my socks off right away! We "dated" for a couple weeks but I was not seeing anyone else (nor he) before we decided to be exclusive, though it was another couple weeks before we actually introduced one another as boyfriend & girlfriend.

 

But even when you are in a relationship, you still should go on "dates"! It's good to regularly infuse actual "dates" to break the routine, rediscover one another and keep that "passion" aspect alive too.

[OceanEyes]

I can't speak for every couple, since every couple will be different. However, I can say that the "exclusivity talk" should NEVER take place until you've spent quite a bit of time together first.

 

How can you really know whether or not you want to ONLY be with this person, if you don't REALLY know the person? In order to know a person on a deeper level, this takes time. Sometimes it takes a month, sometimes it takes 2 or 3.

 

I'd say that if it's taking a really long time ... in my opinion more than 3 months, then it's probably not working well enough to make that commitment. By then, I'd assume that you would have shared enough to know whether or not you wanted to be exclusive; sex, goals, feelings, meeting friends and some family, career/ life aspirations, family expectations, etc. Not heavy stuff, but enough to qualify a person as a potential long-term mate.

 

Everyone is going to take a different amount of time, but I don't think that it should take several months to have "the talk".

[OceanEyes]

Even then, I still like to hold back a bit....except with my present bf whom knocked my socks off right away!

 

LOL ... same here RK. It's funny that both of our men are the same personality types too.

 

I knew with my current boyfriend, when we first met, that he was 'different'. I felt totally comfortable with him ... like we could sit for an entire 20 minute car drive without having to fill the air with useless, boring conversation. Usually I feel obligated to do that. Not with this one. I felt at ease immediately.

[RayKay]

LOL ... same here RK. It's funny that both of our men are the same personality types too.

 

I knew with my current boyfriend, when we first met, that he was 'different'. I felt totally comfortable with him ... like we could sit for an entire 20 minute car drive without having to fill the air with useless, boring conversation. Usually I feel obligated to do that. Not with this one. I felt at ease immediately.

 

Which is really kind of funny, as when I was younger/before J if I read that personality type I would of thought..."not for me!". I guess I was proved wrong!

 

Yup, that's definitely a similar experience here. I do remember in the past sometimes feeling that "pressure" to impress ALL the time with others, and with him, it was just...I was free to be me. Even the dorky parts.

[esboogie143]

I have been "dating" a guy for 6 months already and to this date there is still NO "RELATIONSHIP" annnnnd we are exclusive from the start! We are only intimate with one another but still no "COMMITTMENT" Now u tell me what the heck does this mean and how long will this take?????? Im going insane at this point!

[RayKay]

I have been "dating" a guy for 6 months already and to this date there is still NO "RELATIONSHIP" annnnnd we are exclusive from the start! We are only intimate with one another but still no "COMMITTMENT" Now u tell me what the heck does this mean and how long will this take?????? Im going insane at this point!

 

Do you go on dates together?

 

Does he call you and invite you out to places OTHER than where you can have sex?

 

Does he plan future events with you?

 

Does he introduce you to family & friends as "his girl" or something along those lines?

 

If your answer is no the these...I would say maybe you are wasting your time with someone whom does not want it to go further than a regular sex partner.