I stab instead of cut

[stabber]

I'm not sure if I fall into the self harming group. I think I do but I'm different. I have never cut myself but I do grab a pair of scissors or if I can't find scissors I grap something with a pointed end and I stab my palm many times pressing really hard each time leaving an imprint. I don't draw blood. I do this when I feel that I need to be punished for something. Most of the time I'm just punishing myself for thinking that life is against me. Punishing myself for wanting too much from my friends, punishing myself for not having a job with enough hours ect. I'm not doing it for attention as I try to hide it. And the marks disappear within an hour. I stopped doing this last year as a friend found out about it and she told me to stop otherwise the friendship is over. I know that sounds uncaring but she knew it was the only way to get me to stop as I treasure the friendship and didn't want to loose her. I did do it once after she said that and she was so disappointed because I'd promiced her I wouldn't do it again. She made me to go to the doctors and he put me on depression medication. So I hadn't done the stabbing for a few month until recently I'd missed my tabs for a couple of days and then had a really bad day and had a nervous breakdown and out came the scissors.

 

Is there anyone else that stabs insteads of cuts?

[Blured]

Are you still harming yourself?

It's not how you self harm, it's why you self harm. There are different methods and reasons but it usually all boils down to the same thing; Theres a dissatisfaction with a situation that you put on yourself.

You have some beliefs that aren't true, and even if they are, you have have a way of dealing with it that only contributes to the cycle of blaming yourself. Self harm isn't the problem, it's a symptom of the problem. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist, I would recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as it tackles the reasons why you do things, and should help break the depression to harm cycle.

Good luck, and I hope this helped.

[yeawutever]

If this all came back, then it means that you have an unresolve issue. It can get worst, you might end up actually cutting yourself. I say got to counseling, it's not expensive and they explain you all the techniques with dealing with your depression.