My Grandad

[xblondyx]

Well, bit different from my usual posts to start with.....

Yesterday, my Grandad had a triple heart bypass. He was then put in Intensive Care which is a routine thing to do after a big operation like that.

My family were told that only 2 people could visit at a time, which was understandable i guess.

 

He should have been brought out of intensive care by now, but he took a turn for the worse and is finding it very hard to breathe still.

I really wanted to visit him but all of my family said that i was too young, that i would be too upset. But if im going to lose my grandad i WANT to see him, i want him to know that i'm there and that I care.

 

I know my family are just trying to protect me, but they are keeping me in the dark about everything, i even had to phone the hospital myself to see how he was doing.

It's hurting me to not know what is going on. I'm really worried and very upset.

 

I confided in my ex (i know, what a stupid idea!!!) but he's been ok recently. He comforted me and then tried to cheer me up but then or course, he went back to his old ways of "please go on webcam and strip for me". I said no, obviously. And then he went off in a mood.

 

Why does he do this the other week, he was telling me he missed me, wanted to try again, then he's all cold saying he doesn't need or want a girlfriend.

 

This, on top of my grandads op is killing me

 

Does anyone have any ideas of how I can persuade my family to allow me to visit? I really want to see him, no matter how much it upsets me, I want to be there for me.

 

With my ex, well he can just f*** off lol. I want to be his friend. Be there for HIM but he makes it so hard. I know he's going through a hard time right now but he shouldn't take it out on me when I'm going through a hard time too.

 

Little vent there, anyone got anything to say??

[coollady1957]

My father went through quadruple bypass surgery 10 months ago. He also took a turn for the worse after the first 24 hours after surgery. It was touch and go for quite awhile.

 

You family, parents or whom ever should allow you to decide if you want to see him. I am sure they are trying to protect you from seeing him in that way. However, I feel it is important that you see him. I hope the best for your grandfather and hope that he is able to recover. Even if he is not able to talk to you, you can go in , hold his hand, comfort him, and talk to him and tell him that you love him. Tell your family it is very important to you and that you want to see him.

 

I honestly do not see how they can keep you from seeing him. All family was allowed to see my father even on his worst days. Unless they have an absolute no visitors order, including family, then you should be able to go see him on your own. You do not need permission I wouldn't think. I would never have kept my children from seeing my dad ( their grandfather ). Of course my kids are 20 and 25 now. Even my brothers young son, age, 7 was allowed to see his grandfather on the third day. It was explained to him what he would see when he went into the room, such as oxygen, tubes, needles, monitors, etc. He handled it quite well for a little fellow.

 

I think at age 17 you are quite mature enough to handle seeing your grandfather. I feel it is very important to the patients well being and recovery to get rest, and that is why visitations are for only a few minutes at a time initially. However, I feel it is equally important that they see , feel and hear their loved ones.

[xblondyx]

Thank you coollady1957. The reason i'm not allowed is because my family think i'm too young and it could really upset me seeing someone i love connected up to monitors with wires everywhere and him with an oxygen mask on. I understand where they are coming from I just really wanna see him.

[coollady1957]

Well at age seventeen I think you are old enough to decide for yourself. Talk to them an tell him how important it is to you. I think you could really go see him anyway, without having them take you themselves.

 

If he is allowed visitors then you should be allowed to go. Talk to them and let them know how badly you would feel if worse came to worse and you never got to see or talk to him again.

 

If my seven year old nephew could handle seeing ventilators, monitors, tubes, needles, wires, nurses, certainly you could as well, unless you have troubles seeing people in an incapacitated way. Do you feel that it would upset you, or do you feel that you could handle seeing him that way?

 

I have a good feeling that he is going to get better, but its very important that they feel the love and touch of their family, and you are part of the family.

[xblondyx]

I would get upset but I would be able to hide it well from him and my family. I always hide it, bottle everything up. But i would stay strong for him, he wouldn't want me to be all depressed and stuff.

[CHINOOKA]

When I was 16 my father had open heart surgery, and my mother said I couldn't go. They dropped me off at school and headed for the hospital. I went in the front door of the school, and out the back, and ran all the way to the hospital, and I was there before the rest of the family. The nurses took me in to see my father, and they said so your "yogi" he has been asking for you. He opened his eyes and they said he wouldn't open his eyes until I arrived. My mother probably didn't like it but I needed to be there. My father needed me to be there too. So I urge you to follow your heart on this.