I don't know what to do

[MewSkitty]

The person I call my GF hasn't been able to talk to me since last Christmas because of her parents. I've almost given up on her now because her parents won't even respond to my letters or answer the phone when I call. I have asked all my female friends that I like if they'd like to be my GF but they all turned me down. I feel so lonely without someone to call my own. I even joined an online teen dating service but that isn't working either. I live in a very small town, and none of the few girls my age like me. I don't know what to do now, it all seems so hopeless. I still love Jesse very much, and I always will. If only her parents would let me talk to her T.T The only thing I ask for in life is to be loved, why can't I have that?

[lonestar_80]

You are so young. You don't need a girl friend right now. I wish I could be your age again. Focus on making good grades in school so you can get into a good college.

 

 

You don't need a girlfriend to validate yourself. Good Luck.

[MewSkitty]

Before Monica became my GF the last thing on my mind was having a GF. But she showed me what it's like to be loved and I can't live without it now. Although Monica may no longer love me, I still love her and always will. I also have a certain type of love for all of humanity. I love you, why don't you love me? That's all I have to say to any good hearted person out there.

[Tigris]

Stop trying to get in touch with Monica and maybe she'll find a way of getting past her parents to contact you?

[Haven]

Why won't her parents let her talk to you? You could try finding one of her friends and getting a message to her that way.

 

And is the girl's name Jesse or Monica? Are there actually 2 girls? I'm confused.

[Momene]

Look on the positive side. At 16, you've already had the experience of having a girlfriend. Many boys your age haven't. You can quite easily assume that Jesse/Monica is a write-off and it just won't happen.

 

I wouldn't just think about getting good grades. You need to learn to be happy yourself without needing a girlfriend. You need to look at friends and interests. You've got female friends, great! Take that as a positive.

 

Now here's why they don't date you:

 

1. They know that they are only 2nd best to Jesse/Monica and will get dumped like a shot if you could start dating her again

 

2. You're desparate for a girlfriend but are not specifically choosing them as an individual (that may not be true but that's what they think)

 

3. They talk to each other

 

You don't have to date girls your age. Up to 2 years younger is OK (some may say more but you'll need a very mature 13 year old girl to make it work. Girls your age or a year or 2 older generally prefer older boys (which annoyed me when I was at school) but you might just strike lucky with one of them.

 

Remember that girls need to be liked for who they are and not just to fill a gap.

[MewSkitty]

There seems to be a little confusion with the names. Let me clear that up. Monica was my first GF who dumped me, and Jesse is the girl I'm trying to get in contact with again. Anyways, I apresheate your advice, but I'm still going to be trying to get a GF because that is all that's important to me right now since I have nothing else going for me.

[Momene]

There seems to be a little confusion with the names. Let me clear that up. Monica was my first GF who dumped me, and Jesse is the girl I'm trying to get in contact with again. Anyways, I apresheate your advice, but I'm still going to be trying to get a GF because that is all that's important to me right now since I have nothing else going for me.

 

Last sentence is a big red flag. I understand where you're coming from as I used to feel like that myself. If you've nothing else going for you, you must sort that out first. Otherwise, you'll come accross as clingy and desparate and will only attract girls who are clingy and desparate. Yes, it might work for a while but eventually you both need more than that from a relationship.

 

You must try and sort the rest of your life out. If someone really attractive comes along, go for it but don't become obsessed with being in a relationship as the answer to all your life's problems. It isn't, believe me!

[jevonj77]

You are TOO DESPERATE!! I'm not sure if you know what that means...but a GF is NOT a toy. I'm not surprised that none of the girls that you like want to go out with you...I think they're smart not to want to.

 

Rule number one: No girl likes a DESPERATE boy.

Rule number two: Stop being so DESPERATE

Rule number three: When you stop being DESPERATE...learn to be friends with these girls just for that reason alone...

Rule number four: Never be DESPERATE when looking for a GF

[JustNormal]

Anyways, I apresheate your advice, but I'm still going to be trying to get a GF because that is all that's important to me right now since I have nothing else going for me.

 

Oh .. LOL.. Ohh.. man.. What are your parents going to do with you. Whew.. That was a good laugh.

 

OK. Here's the juice. If you have nothing going for you then nobody- not just girls- will want to be around you- ever. No money no honey. No school no job. No job no money. Ya see where this is heading?

 

Study your butt off. Girls are a constant. Getting out of that one horse town isn't. You really need to make good grades or else you will be getting NO GIRLS in the future. OK?

[MewSkitty]

If a girl wanted me to have money to decide to go out with me or not, they're not my type. I never date just for fun, I'd only date to help find that one specail girl to spend the rest of my life with. Either all the way or no way.

[Momene]

JustNormal was trying to help. Lack of money and education will limit your opportunities to go out and meet people, whether for friendship or to find a future partner. I'm not saying that all girls are expecting an expensive evening out but you want to have a nice time.

 

I think dating for fun isn't such a bad thing, although it took me 32 years to find that out!

[Dancegal]

I know what it's like to want to have someone, and I've definitely fallen for the wrong guys for the wrong reasons because of it. You're only 16, and even though a girlfriend may seem like the best thing for you right now, in actuality the best thing you can do is stop looking. Sure - flirt with girls and stuff like that, but honestly before one can focus on having a girlfriend/boyfriend in one's life they need to focus on one's self. As other people have said, study and befriend girls in school (only to be friends) and impress girls with your intellect and how you are a really nice guy. Show your passions to others through an activity or sport that you like. Who knows - "the girl" you're looking for could be right around the corner, but the only was you'll find her is if you aren't looking for her. As weird as that sounds, it's true in many cases.

[MewSkitty]

Great news! I was able to send Jesse a letter that she got before her parents, and she emailed my new email account. She told me how her mother blocked me on her AIM account and how she also was unable to email my old email account too because of her mother. Well, she gave me an email account that her parents don't know about, so now we can get back together! I knew Jesse was the one for me, and this only further prooves my theories.

[Momene]

... but what have they got against you? There's another thread on here about a boy whose parents want him to dump his girlfriend.

[MewSkitty]

They have nothing against me, they just don't feel that Jesse shouldn't be in a relationship.

[Momene]

Right, so she can start dating when she's in her 30s and fall prey to jerks!