Men: teach me how to love you.

[Aschleigh]

I love my boyfriend so much. I want to be able to communicate with him, feel close, be intimate in many different ways.

 

Men : what can I say or do to help my boyfriend open up? What in the past or present has really told you that it is safe and good to share yourself with the women in your life? Is it a matter of time mostly? of course it's different for each man, but if you have an examples of what really got to you, what really convinced you that you were safe, loved and able to express your feelings, who you are, your hopes and dreams with someone I would appricate it a lot.

They don't teach this is school, FYI some of us women are trying to learn, please teach us.

posted by:

[Lubber]

Time. Just wait it out and it will happen. You forget that us guys are stupid and slow creatures who are afraid of showing the slightest hint of emotion for fear of being called a wimp. I know that when he's alone with you, that he shouldnt worry about stuff like that, but its a subconscious thing.

 

My advice to you is lots of cuddling. If you and him are fairly physical, dont use that to try to provoke emotion from him. That will only complicate things.

 

Most importaintly, just show him you love him. When you two are laying down together, just stare into his eyes and smile without looking away. Think of it as a staring contest, and you dont want to lose. Kiss him on the cheek when you two are just sitting there. Sure a kiss on the lips is great but its a shared emotion, and you just want to show your emotions to him. A kiss on the cheek can accopmlish a lot more.

 

Or you could just plain out tell him how you feel. It may seem kinda blunt, but communication is the key to all problems. Just be sure not to intimidate him if you do tell him. Lay it down gently and explain your emotions, rather than just hoping he'll understand. Rememeber, guys are slow and stupid creatures

 

Good luck

[Aschleigh]

I kiss him all the time, I can hardly keep my lips or hands off him. I stare into his eyes for a long time but sometimes it's very intense and I look away.

Anything else I can do?

[Lubber]

I can hardly keep my lips or hands off him

 

Dont mean to interfere with anything personal, but are you guys mostly physical? If so, then you may be sending him the wrong message. I'm not going to lie to you, us guys like being physical, but it doesnt tell us that you love us. Personally, I think relationships should be only 1/5 physical and 4/5 emotional. An even bigger ratio even (if possible Horimones suck sometimes).

 

A lot of times, less is more. If youre trying very hard to show him, slow down a bit. Not enough to hurt the integrity of the relationship, but enough for him to miss it. I mean, when my ex went away for 2 weeks and came back, just being together was much more intense than it was before she left.

 

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

 

Maybe he's just shy. I can be sometimes. Check out my most recent post (And feel free to offer any help if you can!).

[WyseOne]

For me it has nothing to do with words... I feel secure in the relationship by the actions of my partner. I know this may not help you at all but it is the things that you do, not what you say. It may not have anything to do with what you are doing or saying, I suggest you find out more about his past, how he was brought up. Let me give you and example, if he never had affection in his life he may find it hard to give it since he has no experience of it.

 

Something else may be his previous relationships. I used to let people in so easily but since my last relationship I have become a different person. I thought what she was saying and more importantly showing me was genuine however she just turned out to be a very good actor and I mean very good until I found out she was a lesbian. By no means am I saying he is gay however he may have been hurt in a previous relationship and may be protecting himself. Just giving you things to think about, they may help.

 

Just remember don't assume it is something you are doing or not doing, look past yourself and start focusing on what issues he may be having.

[Aschleigh]

We are physical but not mostly. We do lots of stuff, watch movies, go shopping, go to parties, etc.. There's a wide range of stuff we do. I would know if it's a mostly physical relationship. I've had those.

[WyseOne]

I'm sorry if my post sounded like it was a physical problem, that was not what was meant by it.

[Momene]

Despite what we might say, we LOVE to be touched, cuddled and generally made a fuss of, even in our 50s.

[Entomon]

I'd like to know too.

 

Once upon a time, I fell in love with a man whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He was my high school sweetheart and I gave him nine years of my life. Then one day he decided to explore other avenue(s). I just couldn't love him the way he wanted it, so he said. I asked him how but all he said was that if I didn't know then I'll never know. And to this day, I still don't know.

 

How does a man really want a woman to love him the way he wants it?

[teacup]

can't we just crack a whip and all get along?

[jimmy shepherdson]

Well If You Kiss And Hug Him U Will Get Alot Of Love Back And If You Love Him You Do Need To Do Mutch Becouse He Will Apprieciate You Day In Day Out Do Not Worry He Loves You Very Mutch

[Skippy]

examples of what really got to you, what really convinced you that you were safe, loved and able to express your feelings, who you are, your hopes and dreams with someone I would appricate it a lot.

 

Not to be judged for our past,our present and our future. For yOu to accept who we are and what we are. For you to accept our lives the way it is anf not go about trying to change it because it doesnt suit you.

Basically, we know we have faults. It is ours to change and it is our choice. I cant love someone that is trying to change me because they have a problem me. It just doesnt work.

Kissing, hugging and fussing is all so important but i cant possibly open up and trust a woman that cant accept ME for who i am. In my opinion, if she cant accept me, we had better not have a relationship.

 

I cant oprn up to someone that is going to react in a big way and have a HANDLE things i say, do or has happened in the past.